


Home for their hearts

by LadyFromPoland



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 02:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 49,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyFromPoland/pseuds/LadyFromPoland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is inspired by "Shrek". Merlin is a lonely warlock who lives in his hut. Arthur is a cursed and imprisoned prince. There's also a talking dragon who can't stop talking about destiny. And Morgana wants to be a queen!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The wind of change

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my mind for a long time. It's going to be an adapted version of "Shrek" with some significant changes in the plot. What do I mean by that? You'll have to wait to find out!
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the fist chapter!

 

**Chapter 01**

" **The wind of change"**

Merlin liked his little hut. Most people would moan about its seize and its poor condition but Merlin found out long time ago that he wasn't most people. He was different. He enjoyed the things that other people avoided. That was one of the reasons of his solitude, though it wasn't the main one. The truth was that Merlin was essentially something that people were afraid of. He was a sorcerer. He had magic.

Although magic wasn't officially forbidden, it was better to hide it. People had their prejudices and fears and no one could help that.

Merlin wasn't able to hide his magic, it was an essential part of his nature, thus he chose solitude. This way he didn't need to worry about people and their prejudices. He didn't have to restrain his magic. It could just flow and flow and flow...

He was absolutely content with his life. It was perfect the way it was.

Merlin didn't want anything to change. Every change carried the risk of being hurt and he'd already had enough pain in his life. There was no need for more.

However, life wasn't that easy. Life was full of surprises.

Merlin didn't believe in destiny. He had once but it seemed like someone else's life.

The destiny, however, was not the question of one's belief. It was real. Merlin didn't need to believe in it but his destiny was awaiting him. It was right there, within his reach.

His adventure was about to start. He didn't know yet that this Sunday afternoon would be so life changing. He was yet to discover that.

The wind of change blew right outside the window.

 

* * *

 

Arthur groaned but no one could hear him. He hated his life. He hated the stupid castle, his tower and the Dragon that guarded his hermitage.

He was a prince, a knight, a fighter! No one, however, seemed to care about these  _details_. Arthur was fully aware of the curse that was put on him. He wasn't a child and he knew what was considered normal and what wasn't. His father had made a considerable effort to explain it to him. Arthur didn't want to fail him and his future subjects. He gave up his former life, all the things that he truly enjoyed, to live up to their expectations. He agreed to spend as much time as it was necessary in the damn castle, lonely and separated from the rest of the world, though it made him feel a bit like a damsel in distress.

Every time Arthur got really lonely, he tried to recall his mother's smile. It was soothing him. His mother was the only person that would accept him no matter what. Her love was truly that strong. The separation from her was the worst thing that ever happened to him.

The young man sighed looking outside the window. There wasn't much to see there but it was better than the walls of his chamber. When he looked up at the sky, he felt the presence of his mother. She could see the same sun every day and the same stars and the moon every night. Arthur knew that his mother watched the sky every day. She had told him that she would and she asked him to do the same. At times, it felt that they were really close to each other. It almost felt as if she was standing right by his side.

Arthur made himself walk away from the window. He lay down on his bed and started to wonder how his life would look like if the things were different.

 

* * *

 

Walking was something that Merlin liked doing. He wandered almost every day. The loneliness that was offered by a forest was soothing. Most of the time it was just him and the trees. It felt good and safe.

That afternoon, however, Merlin was not lucky.

He encountered a group of knights. They were gathered around something Merlin couldn't see, talking frantically. Despite the common sense and self-preservation, Merlin came closer to find out what was wrong.

"Is it safe?" asked the smallest of the knights. "Shouldn't we move it farther into the forest?"

"What for?" asked another knight. "This place is perfect. It won't bother anyone, as Lady Morgana commanded."

"He's right. We've got better things to do."

Merlin's eyes went wide when he saw the object of their discussion. The knights carried a cage with a dragon inside. The dragon was quite small and didn't look frightening at all but still it was chained.

"What are you doing?" Merlin couldn't help asking.

The knights looked at him, noticing him for the first time. "And you are?" asked one of them.

"I live here," he said, "in the forest. My name is Merlin."

"So, Merlin... This is none of your business," said the smallest knight.

"But it is," Merlin insisted. "This is my forest."

The knights burst out laughing. "Your forest?" asked one of them, shaking his head in disbelief. "This land, including the forest, belongs to Lady Morgana. We act on her orders."

Lady Morgana. Merlin knew that name very well. She was a powerful sorceress who ruled the land with help of her sister Morgause. Merlin didn't care much about politics but he was aware that the duet Morgana and Morgause meant troubles. Merlin felt deep down that whatever they planned, he wasn't going to like it.

When the knights calmed down, they turned their attention back to the dragon. Merlin watched carefully what they were doing, though he didn't disturb them any longer. Before he could perceive what was going on, the knights let the dragon out and walked away in rush, as if afraid that the creature was about to attack them.

The dragon, however, didn't seem to care about the knights. Instead, it seemed to find Merlin interesting.

"One side of the coin," said the dragon.

Merlin blinked a few times. He wasn't sure if he was completely sane at the moment. He had a feeling that the dragon just spoke to him.

"Destiny," the creature continued, looking at Merlin with curiosity.

"Ex-excuse me?" Merlin asked. "Have you just... spoken... to me?"

"Yes, indeed I have," the dragon confirmed.

Merlin was even more bewildered. "You can talk?" he asked.

"Obviously." Merlin would swear that the dragon rolled its eyes. "You've just heard me talking."

"I'm sorry." Merlin smiled nervously. "I didn't know that dragons could talk."

"Most of us is incapable of talking," the dragon informed him. "At least not in the way that people understand. There are some exceptions, though. I'm one of them," it said proudly. "My name is Kilgharrah, by the way."

"I'm Merlin," he replied automatically.

"I know who you are," said Kilgharrah. "I've heard about your destiny."

"There's no such thing as destiny," Merlin denied.

"Of course there is! You're just yet to discover it."

"Whatever." Merlin didn't care what the dragon was thinking. Kilgharrah could believe in destiny and such things. It wasn't Merlin's business. He just didn't want to have anything to do with it. "It was nice to meet you," he said, "but I'm tired and I want to go home."

"You can go wherever you want," said the dragon. "You won't escape your destiny anyway."

Merlin ignored the creature and walked away. There was no reason to take the dragon's words seriously. There was nothing to be worried about.

 

* * *

 

Morgana was angry. Her people didn't respect her as much as they were supposed to and she took a great care of them. She was the one who was able to make tough decisions which were necessary for the good of this country. She did everything that a reasonable king would have done. Yet the people did not appreciate that. For them, she was no one. She wasn't their Queen.

Morgause knew her sister very well. She knew her concerns and she was determined to help her.

"Don't worry, sister," she said quietly. "There's always a way..."

Morgana looked at her closely and asked, "have I understood your tone correctly, sister? Do you know a way?"

Morgause smiled at her lightly. "You know me well," she said. "If you want your rule to be stable you need to become a queen. That's obvious... You could just promote yourself to be one but it wouldn't change anything. People would talk... they wouldn't think of you as  _their_  Queen..."

"I know that, my dear sister," Morgana said. "I cannot just claim to be the Queen. It would just cause more problems."

"Exactly!" Morgause agreed. "That's why you need to marry a prince!"

"And that's your plan, sister?" Morgana's enthusiasm clearly faded. "Even if I find a prince who would marry me, he would claim to be the ruler of this land. I would just become his trinket."

"I understand your concerns, Morgana. However, you should know me better than that. I would never let this happen." She sighed. "You're powerful. You have magic. You don't need a powerful husband. You need a weak one..."

Morgana raised her right brow. "I assume you have a candidate?"

"Have you heard about Pendragons? And the prince Arthur?" Morgause whispered.

"The name rings a bell," Morgana admitted, "but I don't know why."

"Prince Arthur is imprisoned in the tower with the Dragon as his guardian."

"Do you know why?" asked Morgana.

"I've heard something about the curse but I don't know its nature. Pendragons were too ashamed to share it with the world," Morgause replied. "The point is that prince Arthur is to be imprisoned in the tower until he gets married. It is said that then the curse will vanish."

"Why haven't he married yet, then?"

"No candidates," Morgause explained. "This curse thing is quite shady. They imprisoned him in a rush many years ago. There was no king who would want his daughter to marry him. It was suspicious after all."

"And you're not concerned about me?" Morgana asked, partially teasingly.

"You'll be fine," Morgause assured her. "Besides, it makes prince Arthur weak. He's been imprisoned for years! Making him do what you want will not be a challenge. And his father... His kingdom is far away from here and he's in good health. He'll be a king for many years to come. He won't need his son to take his crown any time soon. It's just perfect."

Morgana smiled at her sister. "I knew you would find a way, sister," she said. "Now we need to find someone who would bring prince Arthur here."

"A tournament?" asked Morgause.

"A tournament."


	2. Tournament of sorts

**Chapter 02**

" **Tournament of sorts"**  


Merlin loved sleeping. When he was asleep, the time was passing by quickly. He didn't have to worry about anything. It was just him and his bed.

Therefore, he hated being interrupted while sleeping. It didn't occur frequently but when it happened, he was getting very angry. This night was one of those rare times. Whoever was making the noise outside was going to regret that. Merlin would make sure of that.

When he opened the door, he could not believe his eyes. Dozens of various magical creatures were gathered around his hut. Among them, Merlin noticed the dragon that he had met.

"What are you doing here?" Merlin asked after a while of puzzlement, when he came back to his senses. "Can someone explain it to me?"

The fairies hid behind the trees. They must have been scared of Merlin's annoyed tone. The goblins looked at him curiously and the rest, except for the dragon, pretended not to hear him.

"I can explain," Kilgharrah said, flying towards him. "I know everything."

Merlin took a deep breath. He didn't want to listen about his destiny but he also needed an explanation. Just yesterday he had his hut and area around it only for himself. Now everything was upside down. Dozens of elves, fairies, goblins, speaking animals and other magical creatures occupied his ground. He needed some answers.

"Fine," Merlin agreed reluctantly. He could have sworn that the dragon grinned at him.

"That's the work of Lady Morgana," said Kilgharrah. "She's having all magical creatures sent to this forest."

"But why?" Merlin asked him. It didn't make sense at all. "What's the point?"

"I believe that it's her way to gain more power over this land," the dragon said sincerely.

"You believe?" The warlock frowned slightly. "She's already ruling this country. I still don't see the point."

"Morgana is the kind of person who feeds on power. And her sister Morgause is even worse... I suppose that they see a threat in all magic but theirs. Thus, they are having all magical creatures deported to one place so they can easily keep an eye on us."

Merlin blinked a few times. "It sounds crazy," he said after a while.

"It is crazy indeed," the dragon admitted. "And it's unfair to the magical community."

Merlin looked at all the creatures that surrounded his hut. He liked his loneliness and he wanted to keep his life private. With all these creatures around he would never have his peace back. He needed to stop Morgana.

"Listen to me!" he said as loud as he could. "All of you!"

This time all magical creatures turned towards him, listening to him carefully. There was something different in his tone. Something firm and decisive.

"What happened to you today is an absurd," he started. "It shouldn't have happened! You had your places to live. You had your homes! Now you're refugees." Merlin took a deep breath and looked around. "It's not fair," he continued firmly. "And I can promise you that I will do all I can to help you come back to the places you lived before!"

The creatures remained completely silent for another few seconds but then they started cheering on Merlin and they couldn't stop. It was madness. Merlin didn't know what to do. He wanted to calm them down but it seemed impossible right then. In their eyes, he was a hero.

After an awkward moment, Merlin looked at the dragon. He needed some help with finding Morgana. He had never been near her castle and he needed to end this case quickly. Wandering around was not an option. "Do you know how to find Lady Morgana?" he asked the dragon. He hated the idea of being accompanied by a flying creature which would talk about destiny most of the time but taking the dragon with him seemed the best idea at the time.

"Of course," Kilgharrah answered, a bit too enthusiastically.

"You will show me the way, then." It was not a question or a polite request. Merlin had no time for these. It was a simple statement. Besides, Merlin was sure that the dragon would have agreed anyway.

And Merlin was right. Kilgharrah was more than happy to lead Merlin towards Morgana and his awaiting destiny.

 

* * *

 

The journey with Kilgharrah was tiring. It wasn't caused by the distance but by the dragon's insistence on talking to Merlin. At first, Merlin tried to ignore him. However, it was becoming more and more difficult. Kilgharrah didn't seem to get tired at all. The creature could talk without a break for hours and Merlin was not strong enough to make himself think about something else. He had to listen. He had no choice.

At this point, Merlin was sure that the dragons should never be allowed to talk. He truly believed that humanity would not survive if all these creatures had such ability.

Listening about ordinary stuff was bearable. However, when the dragon repeatedly insisted on its nonsense about destiny and fate, Merlin was burning up. He had made a clear point of his aversion to this subject but Kilgharrah didn't seem to care.

That was why Merlin felt relief when they finally saw Morgana's castle in the horizon. He would soon get rid of the annoying creature. He was sure of that.

"It's an impressive castle," said Merlin.

"Lady Morgana tries to show her power in all possible ways," Kilgharrah replied.

"She may be powerful but she shouldn't treat all magical creatures the way she did." Merlin glanced at the dragon. "I will stop her."

"I'm sure you will," said Kilgharrah. He was cryptic, not sarcastic.

They entered the court easily. There was no one to stop them. It was quite odd. Merlin looked quite ordinary but the presence of the dragon at the court could be seen dangerous.

"It's quiet," said Merlin. "Too quiet... What's going on here?"

"We shall find out," answered Kilgharrah. "I can hear some voices over there." The creature looked in the direction of a huge, brown gate."

"I hear nothing," said warlock suspiciously.

"I'm a dragon," replied Kilgharrah. "My senses are sharp. I can hear, see and smell things that people can't."

Merlin was surprised by the determination in Kilgharrah's voice. "Fine," he said a bit shyly. "Let's find out then why the court and the streets are empty."

The gate was really huge and massive. Merlin would never open it with the strength of his muscles. Luckily, as a gifted warlock, he didn't need them. He raised his hand slightly and muttered a short incantation.

The gate started opening itself slowly.

The first thing that Merlin noticed was an extensive arena where dozens of knights were about to start fighting.

"Who dares to interrupt my tournament?" Merlin heard a powerful female voice. He looked up, seeking its source and saw a beautiful and majestic dark haired woman. She was standing in a royal spot, looking directly at him.

"That's Morgana," the dragon whispered.

Merlin had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. It was obvious that the woman was Morgana. She looked like someone in charge. Besides, Merlin could sense the powerful magic that was radiating from her.

"Who are you?" Morgana asked firmly.

Just then he realised that all knights and guards had their swords pointed at him. That was a very uncomfortable situation. Merlin swallowed hard.

"My name is Merlin," he answered, glancing at all the swords around him.

Morgana looked at Kilgharrah questioningly.

"The dragon is not dangerous," Merlin said hastily.

"I can feel your magic," Morgana said, looking back at Merlin. "You shouldn't be here." After a while she added, "are you starting a rebellion?"

"No, no! No... I'm far from that. Believe me..." Merlin was aware that it didn't look well. He needed to be careful. "We mean no harm," he assured her.

"Then why are you here?" Morgana asked, annoyed. "You've just interrupted my highly important tournament. My knights and the audience are getting impatient..."

"I'm here because of the magical creatures that was sent to my place... to my forest," said Merlin.

"Your forest?" Morgana's brow raised high. "I'm in charge of the land."

"I'm aware of that." Merlin gulped. "What I meant is that they occupy the ground around my hut. I've lived in peace and these creatures destroyed it. I want... I demand to have my spot for myself!" Finally, Merlin dared to say out loud what he really meant.

"You demand?" Morgana burst out laughing and the audience followed her example. For a few moments, all that Merlin could hear was their laughter.

Suddenly, a fair haired woman who was standing by Morgana's side, whispered something to her ear. Morgana listened to her very carefully and then smirked.

"My sister has a brilliant idea!" she said out loud. "Merlin, that's your name, isn't it?" The warlock nodded. "I have a deal. You will get your hut and the area around it back to yourself... You will be the owner of the place and you'll have it in writing..."

"If?" Merlin asked, very curious. He wondered what Morgana would want in exchange.

The sorceress smiled. "If you fulfil the mission that my knights were supposed to," she said.

"What kind of mission?" Merlin asked.

"That shouldn't be difficult for someone like you. For someone with magic," Morgana added. "You need to rescue prince Arthur Pendragon from a tower and bring him to me so we can finally get married," she explained smoothly.

That wasn't something that Merlin was expecting. However, it didn't sound so bad. It actually seemed a fair deal.

"If I agree, what will you do to the magical creatures?" he asked her.

"I won't hurt them. That should be enough for you," Morgana answered. "What's your decision, then?" she asked almost innocently.

"I accept your deal."

 

* * *

 

"Do you have to follow me?" Merlin asked the dragon for the hundredth time that day. "I didn't ask you to..."

"I cannot let you go on your own," Kilgharrah said decisively. "There's a dragon in that tower. I can be helpful!"

"I highly doubt that," Merlin replied truthfully. "But fine! Whatever! When it's over, I'll have my place back to myself. And I'll finally have some peace."

"You shouldn't hide like this. You should have someone to talk to... make friends..." the dragon told him. "Your attitude towards life is unhealthy."

"I didn't ask for your opinion," Merlin replied harshly and sighed. "Could you be quiet for a few minutes? I need some silence."

"Sure," said Kilgharrah. "As you wish."

Merlin didn't get his silence, though. The dragon was unable to keep quiet for longer than a minute.

Their journey took almost three days and honestly, Merlin considered this time the most tiring of his life. The dragon kept on talking about destiny and Merlin's unhealthy attitude towards other people and creatures. Merlin could do nothing to stop him.

Therefore, when he saw the castle in the horizon, he felt as the happiest man on earth.

Finally, he had some distraction from the talking dragon.

Finally, he could do something useful and honourable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll publish next chapter in a week. It'll be longer and more exciting - I promise!
> 
> Now, feel free to review!


	3. Damsel in distress

 

**Chapter 03**

" **Damsel in distress"**

The castle looked gloomy and mysterious. It was surrounded by a moat of boiling lava. The whole scene didn't look friendly or inviting. At that moment Merlin started to realise that he was on quite a dangerous mission. He had magic but his power didn't make him invincible.

"Are you scared?" the dragon asked him.

"Why should I?" Merlin asked him back. There was no reason for showing his true fears.

"Isn't it reasonable to be at least a bit afraid?" Kilgharrah wasn't going to let it go.

"I'm just focused on what I'm about to do. On my mission," Merlin said, ignoring what the dragon just pointed out. "I need a plan."

"Plan sounds good," admitted Kilgharrah. "Do you have any idea in mind?"

Merlin smiled lightly. "Sort of," he said. "We need to split up."

"Split up?"

"You know... The castle is guarded by a dragon. And you told me that you can be helpful," said Merlin. "You're also a dragon. You should find it to make sure that it won't stand in my way..."

"So you can find the prince, I suppose?" Kilgharrah said. "That sounds quite reasonable."

Merlin was pleased. "But can you find the dragon?" he asked the creature.

Kilgharrah snickered. "You underestimate me, human," he said. "I don't need to search for the dragon. I can sense her. I know exactly where she is."

"She?" Merlin asked, a bit surprised.

"Yes. She," the dragon confirmed. "There are female dragons, you know?"

"I've never met one," the warlock admitted. The truth was, however, that he didn't meet many dragons in his life. "It doesn't matter if it's he or she, does it?"

"I does... but you shouldn't be worried about it. I'll take care of the dragon," said Kilgharrah. "You need to focus on prince Arthur. Do you have any idea where you should start looking for?"

Merlin looked at the castle. "Damsels in distress are usually in the highest chambers in the tallest towers, aren't they?"

"Prince Arthur is not a typical damsel in distress," the dragon pointed out. "You may be right, though. You should give it a try."

"I will," Merlin replied shortly.

They came closer to the bridge across the moat. It looked very old and very unstable. Crossing it was dangerous, especially since there was a river of fire below. Nonetheless, the bridge was the only way to get to the castle. Merlin had no choice. He had to cross it.

Kilgharrah didn't have such problem. He had wings and was able to fly over the moat.

"Lucky you," murmured Merlin.

"Don't pity yourself," the dragon told him, flying on his right side. "The bridge is not so long. Soon, you'll reach the other side."

Merlin wanted to tell him that it wasn't that easy as the bridge was swinging. He didn't say anything, though. The dragon's reply would only annoy him more and that wouldn't be helpful.

Merlin took a deep breath and moved forward quickly but not forcefully. He kept repeating in mind that everything was going to be all right and that it wasn't dangerous at all. He tried not to look down but he made a couple of peeps anyway. That wasn't very sensible as it made him panic a little bit more but he couldn't undo it.

When Merlin reached the other side of the bridge, he felt as alive as never before. Crossing the bridge took him longer than he thought but he dismissed the unpleasant memory instantly. He knew that he would have to cross the bridge again on his way back. That was unavoidable. However, he dismissed this thought for a while. One step at the time seemed reasonable and right then he had some prince to find.

"Are you ready to go?" the dragon asked him a bit worryingly.

"Sure," Merlin answered shortly. "I'm fine."

"If you say so," said Kilgharrah.

"Just... let's go," Merlin told him impatiently. "The sooner I find the prince, the sooner it all will be over."

They moved forward. The gate to the castle was wide open. There was no one within their sight. No prince. No dragon.

Merlin looked around, trying to decide which way would lead him to the tallest tower. That wasn't as easy as he had thought. There were plenty of doors and corridors around him. The right tower would be anywhere.

"I think this is the moment when we split up," Kilgharrah suddenly broke the silence.

"Is female dragon anywhere near?" Merlin asked him a bit worryingly. He wasn't afraid of the creature. Of course not. He was the warlock after all and he would deal with the dragon easily. It was, however, more reasonable to focus on the prince at the moment. The royal pain in the ass was his priority. He didn't want any distraction.

"Quite near," Kilgharrah answered. "But she won't bother you. Don't worry."

"I hope you're right," said Merlin. "Do you, by any chance, have an idea which way will lead me to the prince?"

The dragon looked at him closely. "It's your task to find the way," he said firmly. "I'm here to help you with the female dragon. That's all. You need to face your destiny yourself to appreciate it duly."

Merlin didn't even make an effort to hide his annoyance. "Destiny... again..." he said angrily. "I've already hoped you forgot about it. Can't you just understand that there's no such thing? I don't believe in destiny! How many times do I have to repeat that?"

Kilgharrah seemed unmoved. "Calm down, boy. I know your opinion on the subject. You've made it clear to me before. I have an opinion of my own. And I know you're wrong." Merlin wanted to say something in his defence but the dragon silenced him with a glare. "You'll figure it out soon."

"Whatever," Merlin murmured. He didn't care about Kilgharrah's opinion. The dragon would say whatever he wanted as long as he wanted. Merlin wasn't stupid. He had a mind of his own and he used it. The dragon would insist on the existence of destiny but Merlin knew that it was just a nice word. Nothing more.

"Go find the prince," Kilgharrah said after a while of silence. "You'll find your way without my help."

Merlin knew that it was true. He was capable of finding the right tower. It would just be quicker with some help.

They split up as it was planned. Kilgharrah flew above Merlin, heading towards the small, glassless window and soon there was no sign of him. Merlin was left alone. In some way, it was better. Finally, he could focus on his mission.

Merlin moved forward, taking some random paths. It wasn't the most efficient way of finding prince Arthur but Merlin had no better idea.

The searching took him a lot of time but finally he found the way that led to the tallest tower. Without thinking, he moved forward quickly. Getting to the right door was the easy part, though. It was the tallest tower in the whole castle and it meant that Merlin had lots of stairs to climb to get to the highest chamber. _At least I found it_ , thought Merlin, trying to reassure himself.

The stairs seemed never-ending. Just when Merlin started wondering if it was some kind of a magic trick, he saw the door. It was far above him but it was there. He was sure of that. Soon, he would probably find the prince.

Suddenly, he felt very uncertain. What was he going to say to the prince? He knew it was a stupid question but it didn't cease to bother him. He wasn't sure what to expect. Would the prince be glad to see him? It seemed to be a right assumption. After all Merlin was about to set him free. However, the prince had been separated from the whole world and he would react in any way.

Merlin sighed. He had to focus on his mission. He could face whatever was ahead him. He wasn't defenceless after all.

The door looked normal. Merlin hoped that it wasn't some kind of a trap.

Not wanting to waste more time, he pushed the door. It wasn't locked so it opened easily.

"Prince Arthur?" Merlin asked carefully, coming inside slowly and carefully. He didn't want to make any rush moves. They would just scare the prince off.

"Who are you?" He heard some husky voice.

Merlin turned into the right direction and saw the male silhouette behind the curtain of bed.

"I'm here to rescue you," Merlin said quietly. "Don't worry."

"Why did you bother?" asked the prince harshly.

"I've been sent by Lady Morgana," the warlock replied. "She... she wants to marry you." Merlin felt strange talking to the curtain. "Could you show yourself? I don't fancy talking to the shadow."

To Merlin's surprise, Arthur Pendragon moved out of his hiding place without any protest. He was a surprisingly good-looking man in his early twenties. He was a tall, blue-eyed blond with quite a fit body for someone who spent years in captivity.

"That's better," said Merlin before he could stop himself.

"So you're here to rescue me?" Arthur asked doubtfully, frowning.

"That's right." Merlin tried to smile at him. He hoped it would reassure the prince. "As I said... I'm here on behalf of Lady Morgana who wants to be your wife."

"What's your name?" Arthur kept asking questions.

"Merlin... My name is Merlin," the warlock introduced himself.

"Sir Merlin, I suppose..." The prince looked at him closely.

Merlin knew the state of himself. He didn't look like a nobleman but it was quite obvious that Arthur expected to be rescued by a knight sent by a princess or noble lady.

"I'm not a Sir," the warlock said frankly. "I'm just Merlin."

"So you're not a knight. You don't look like one but I thought... Why would someone send you to rescue anybody?" asked Arthur suspiciously.

"I'm stronger than I look," answered Merlin. He obviously didn't mean physical strength. After all, his magical powers also counted. He could do much more than an average knight!

Prince Arthur didn't look convinced but he didn't say it out loud. He was just staring at Merlin as if he was a very peculiar thing.

"We should hurry," the warlock told him. "I don't want to push you or anything but it's a rescue mission and I have to present you to Lady Morgana in one piece."

"You didn't defeat the dragon, did you?" Arthur guessed the reason of Merlin's worries. "Obviously, you are not able to. What a day..."

"To your information, I  _would_  defeat the dragon." Prince Arthur gave him a sceptical look. "I've just had no reason to. I've got some help... and he's taking care of the dragon." Merlin took a deep breath. He needed to be patient. He had to! "Let's go," he said firmly.

"Fine," said the prince. "You need to know, though, that I don't like it," he added, following Merlin down the stairs. Surprisingly, the way down was thrice shorter than the way up. It must have been some kind of magic.

"I need to grab my help on our way out," Merlin informed the prince, taking the corridor that led to the main hall. "You'll wait for us by the bridge."

"No way," said prince Arthur. "If your friend is as fit as you, you'll need my help."

Merlin rolled his eyes but the other man didn't see that. "If you are so strong, why didn't you save yourself?" he asked, annoyed.

The prince looked at him gloomily. "I couldn't," he murmured. "Believe me... I've tried. Stupid magic... It hid the way out from me."

Merlin didn't know what to say. "Sorry," he murmured finally. He knew that magic could be used in many vile ways. That was why most of people were afraid of it and were suspicious of those who used it. Arthur was clearly hostile towards magic. At least, he had a reason to.

"Where is your friend, then?" The prince broke the silence.

"With the dragon," answered Merlin. "He'll be fine but I need to give him a sign that I've found you."

"Aren't you worried that he's dead or hurt?" Arthur asked him. "He deals with a dragon after all!"

"I'm not worried about that," Merlin said frankly. "He's a dragon too."

Arthur stopped immediately. "You're friends with a dragon?" He couldn't believe in it.

"We're not exactly friends," Merlin admitted, " but he's here with me and he's helping me rescue you."

"How did you tame him?" asked the prince.

"I didn't." Merlin giggled inside at the thought. "He wanted to come here himself. I didn't ask him to."

Arthur frowned slightly. "He wanted to...? How?"

"Oh... right... you don't know... It's a talking dragon. His name's Kilgharrah, by the way. And he's annoying," Merlin said frankly. "He can't stop talking, especially about destiny and other crap."

"You're not joking, are you?" asked the prince.

"I wouldn't dare," the warlock replied teasingly. "Now move! We don't want to stay here forever, right?"

Prince Arthur followed him silently. He had a lot of things to think about. First of all, apparently, some dragons were able to talk. Secondly, it was the most ridiculous and bizarre rescue mission in the history history of men. In his craziest dreams, he didn't encounter anything like that. Besides, there was something about this Merlin. He wasn't a knight and he looked like a peasant. Yet, for some reason, he had been chosen by some lady to rescue him. The prince wasn't sure what to think about it. He didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing. It all just didn't make any sense.

"You should really wait for me here," Merlin told him, worryingly. "If something happens to you..."

"I'm not a child," said Arthur firmly. "You cannot expect me to stay here and wait. I've been waiting long enough. I'm a grown man now."

Merlin knew deep inside that any further argument was pointless. Arthur Pendragon was a stubborn royal prat. He wouldn't listen to a peasant when he wanted to prove himself.

"Just don't get hurt," Merlin told him.

"That's funny," the prince replied. "I was just about to tell you the same thing."

"They should be somewhere near," Merlin whispered after a few minutes of silent walk. "That's strange... where are they?"

"Shut up," Arthur murmured suddenly.

"What?" Merlin turned around to look at him.

The prince put a finger to his mouth to silence him. This time Merlin listened to him. He had a feeling that Arthur knew what he did. Then Merlin heard something. He didn't recognise the sound but it only made him feel insecure. He sighed silently and moved in the right direction. What choice did he have? He couldn't leave Kilgharrah behind.

It took them a while to find two dragons and the source of the odd sound. They reached a huge chamber which might have been a throne room. It was quite devastated but they didn't even notice that. In the middle of the chamber was sitting a white, apparently female, dragon. In comparison to Kilgharrah, she was huge, at least a few times his size. However, her size wasn't something that made both Merlin and prince Arthur stop at the doors, in a state of bewilderment.

The strange sound was made by the white dragon and it was a kissing sound. The female dragon was keeping Kilgharrah captive, molesting him. He didn't look pleased.  _Apparently, dominating females aren't his type_ , thought Merlin. He knew that the situation was quite serious but he couldn't help himself.

"What should we do?" the prince whispered.

"We have to rescue him," replied Merlin. "Somehow..."

Merlin had an idea in mind but it was a bit risky. He didn't want to scare the prince because of his magic but the situation was tough. It seemed that there was no other choice. He had to use magic to rescue them all.

" Kilgharrah?" he asked loudly. "Are you all right?"

The small dragon raised his head and looked directly at Merlin. "I've been better," he said suspiciously calmly. "Don't ASK stupid questions!" he added immediately.

"Just what I thought," Merlin muttered to himself.

"It's... talking," said Arthur.

"I told you," murmured Merlin, rolling his eyes.

"Yes... I just... I don't think I comprehended that..." Arthur looked around. "What do we do now?" he added suddenly.

"You..." Merlin looked at him closely. "You don't freak out."

"What?" The prince was confused. He saw no reason to freak out. He thought that this Merlin fellow was a little bit insane.

In the meantime, Merlin muttered an incantation. Arthur heard it very clearly and to his surprise the massive chandelier fell down on the white dragon.

"Magic..." the prince whispered, glancing at Merlin uncertainly.

"Later," the warlock said shortly. He didn't have time for this at the moment. He felt responsible for Kilgharrah and prince Arthur. He had to get them out of the castle safely. Any explanations could wait.

The chandelier slowed the female dragon down but it wasn't enough. Merlin had to act quickly. He looked around and noticed some long, massive chains piled in the corner of the chamber. He had no idea what they were there for but it didn't matter. He considered himself lucky to find them.

Merlin raised his hand and with a power of his magic, he moved the chains up. What he was about to do was complicated but worth a try. He needed to focus on his magic completely. At first, the chains moved clumsily and slowly. Then, however, Merlin managed to take an ultimate control over them. They started to surround the white dragon, tying her limbs. She was trapped and they had some time to run away.

"Move, Kilgharrah, move!" yelled Merlin, seeing that the dragon was watching the whole show in astonishment.

Kilgharrah didn't waste more time. He moved his wings and flew towards two men. In the meantime, Merlin turned his attention back to the prince and said, "we need to get out of here. Run!"

Prince Arthur didn't state any protest. He started running right behind Merlin. He felt many doubts but at the moment the escape from an angry female dragon was a priority. He could interrogate the sorcerer later.

On their way out, while crossing the bridge, Merlin didn't care about the river of fire below his feet. He could only think about getting as far away from the dangerous dragon as possible. Any other fears just vanished.

"We're safe now," said Kilgharrah, landing on the grass.

Merlin lay down, smiling with relief. "Finally," he said. "We shouldn'ttake a long rest, though. The dragon can let herself out any time."

Prince Arthur didn't listen to them. He was looking around, as if searching for something.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked him.

"Where is the lady?" the prince uttered. "She should be waiting here."

"She's not," Merlin replied shorty.

"I can see that." Arthur was clearly annoyed. "I demand to know where she is!"

The warlock sighed. He could tell that this conversation wasn't going to be easy. "Lady Morgana is in her castle, three days of walk from here."

The prince's eyes went wide. "What?"he said harshly. "Three days? How...? I should... That's impossible!"

"But it's true," Merlin assured him. "Don't you worry. You'll get to her safely."

"You don't understand," said Arthur firmly. "I should meet her immediately. We should get married as soon as possible."

"And you will." Merlin was startinglosing his nerves. "In three days."

"I meant today!" Arthur was angry and he was starting to act like a brat.

"Listen to me, prince Charming, I can't make our journey any faster," said Merlin truthfully. "You, on the other hand, can make it longer. I advise you to stop being a prat so we start the journey!"

"What did you call me?" the prince asked, even more annoyed.

"A prat," Merlin repeated, "because you're a one."

"You won't call me names," said Arthur firmly. "Is that understood?"

"Try to stop me then," Merlin replied. "You can't? I thought so..."

Prince Arthur looked as if he was about to explode.

"Can we go now?" Kilgharrah spoke up suddenly. "I don't want to face the female dragon any time soon."

"I won't go anywhere with him," said the prince firmly, pointing at Merlin. "He's got magic. I can't trust him."

"I'm still here, you know," Merlin said angrily. "Don't treat me like an air!"

"I'm saying what I think," Arthur told him. "I'm not going to pretend that I'm comfortable with your magic."

"You don't have to. I don't require that. I know what people usually think," said Merlin. "But you're going with me anyway."

"No way, you idiot!"

"We shall see!" Merlin smirked and his eyes shone with gold.

Suddenly, Arthur's legs started moving forward. "What are you doing?" the prince yelled at him. "I order you to stop! You cannot treat royalty like this! Leave me alone!"

"I'm not doing anything, your highness," said Merlin innocently. "That's your legs. Apparently, they know better than you."

Prince Arthur was angry but he couldn't do anything. Everything was wrong. He shouldn't deal with someone of Merlin's kind. Merlin was a ruthless sorcerer who made fun of royalty. The incoming days were going to be hell. The prince was sure of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I'll try to update the story in a week but I can't promise that.


	4. Hard beginnings

 

**Chapter 04**

" **Hard beginnings"**

Prince Arthur was fighting with Merlin's spell bravely but it wasn't a fight that he could win. Merlin's magic was strong and it kept pushing the prince forward despite his best efforts. It took a long while before Arthur gave up. He felt cheated and defeated but he could not win with magic. To his surprise, shortly after he stopped fighting, Merlin put the spell off.

"Aren't you worried I'll run away?" Arthur asked him.

"I believe you've understood that following me is the best thing that you can do right now," answered Merlin, not even looking at the prince. "Besides, I would stop you anyway," he added with a little amusement.

Arthur knew that it was true but he wanted to hear how Merlin would handle the question. Such details could tell much about a person. His mother had told him that once and he believed her. Nonetheless, he didn't know how to assess Merlin's answer. He hadn't much experience in the social field. He had to practice to gain it.

Nothing could return the lost years to Arthur but he couldn't pity himself. He was about to start a new life. He couldn't waste more years. He had to be ready for the world.

Suddenly, the dragon announced a break.

"I believe that we're all hungry," said Kilgharrah when Merlin looked at him questioningly.

The warlock sighed. "The break sounds reasonable," he admitted. "I have no supplies, though. I think we'll have to feed on these berries." He looked at the small bushes around them. There were plenty of them.

"Berries?" prince Arthur asked sceptically. "Berries? I need some bread, cheese, meat! Berries are not enough!"

"They will have to be enough," replied Merlin a bit angrily. "We don't have anything else. Tomorrow, when we cross some village, we will get something more suitable for a royal stomach of yours. Now, however, you should quit being a spoilt brat and just grab some berries."

"It's all so wrong," Arthur muttered but he sat on the ground and started eating the berries.

"It's not the best rescue mission in history but there were some worse," the dragon said wisely. "You're free now," the creature continued. "You should be glad. I think it's better than your previous prison."

"Maybe," Arthur said quietly. "I'm not entirely free, though... I can't just go anywhere I wish... I'm getting married to the woman I haven't even seen."

Merlin watched him silently. For the first time since he had met the prince, he felt truly sorry for him. Arthur was right. He was not free. He was escaping from one prison to another.

"What is lady Morgana like?" the prince asked suddenly. "I should know something about her. Tell me."

Merlin wasn't sure what to say. He had to be very cautious with his words.

"She's very... beautiful," Merlin said slowly. "Tall, dark-haired..."

"That's her appearance. I want to know what kind of person she is," Arthur demanded.

"We don't know her well," said the dragon suddenly, trying to help.

"But you must know something," the prince insisted. "Anything."

"There's one thing..." Merlin said hesitatingly.

"What is it?" Arthur looked at him hopefully.

"You're not going to like it. Believe me," the warlock said truthfully. He wasn't sure if telling Arthur about Morgana's magic was wise at that point. However, hiding the truth seemed pointless. The prince would find it out anyway. Giving him time to adjust appeared to be a better option.

"Just tell me," Arthur said firmly. "I deserve to know something about my future wife, don't I?"

"Fine."

"Merlin?" Kilgharrah said warningly.

"There's no point in hiding it." Merlin sighed and turned his attention back to the prince. "Lady Morgana is not just a lady who happens to rule over the land. She's a powerful sorceress."

Prince Arthur's eyes went wide immediately. Merlin was sure that princes weren't supposed to show such emotions openly but he didn't blame him. Arthur's world was probably crumbling right then.

"She's got magic?" he asked finally.

"A very powerful magic," Merlin corrected him. "You should come to terms with this before you meet her."

The prince didn't seem to listen to Merlin's words carefully. He was still deeply touched by the news. "How is it even possible?" he asked, probably himself.

"People are usually born with it," said Merlin. "I was."

The prince shook his head in disbelief. "What an irony... How...? Why...?" he kept asking. "I shouldn't marry someone with magic. I was abused by magic, for heaven's sake! I don't feel comfortable around magic. It's just not right..."

"Maybe that's the point," Merlin suggested. "Maybe it was supposed to happen like this?"

Prince Arthur gave him a confused look. He clearly didn't see Merlin's point.

"It sounds a lot like destiny," the dragon spoke suddenly. "I thought you didn't believe in destiny,  _Merlin_? Have you changed your mind recently?"

The warlock looked at Kilgharrah angrily. "I haven't," he said through his teeth. "I didn't mean it like destiny. I meant that Arthur's marriage to someone with magic may be a part of the curse."

"Who said anything about the curse?" the prince asked too quickly and too fiercely. "There's no curse, is that understood?"

Both Merlin and Kilgharrah looked at him sceptically. "People say there is one," said Merlin. "Its nature is unknown, though."

"You see! It's a cruel rumour, nothing else." Arthur tried really hard to convince them.

"Then why were you imprisoned in the castle?" Merlin asked him.

The prince wasn't going to give up. "My parents wanted to protect me," he said firmly. "To ensure safety of our kingdom. My father had many enemies. He put me in the remote castle to keep me out of their reach."

Merlin was sure that it was a lie but he didn't want to push Arthur. It was a very delicate matter which made Arthur nervous. Besides, it was none of his business. He was supposed to bring the prince to Morgana. He didn't have to get to know him. His curse was irrelevant.

"Whatever. I only hope you won't turn into a toad after midnight and run away," said Merlin. "I don't want to look for a toad all night."

"Don't worry," Arthur said a bit angrily. "I am not cursed."

"Anyway..." Merlin decided to change the subject. "The break is over. We should move if we want to get to lady Morgana's castle in three days."

Prince Arthur agreed silently by getting up. He didn't say much for another few hours of their journey. He had a lot of things to think about. Merlin wasn't going to disturb him. The warlock knew that a man sometimes needed a silence to come to terms with his life. It seemed that it was one of such moments.

 

* * *

 

It was getting darker and darker with every minute. Soon, they wouldn't see their path. The further journey had to be postponed.

"It's time for a night break," said Merlin. "This clearing will be perfect."

"We're supposed to sleep here, in the open air?" Arthur asked him. "Just great..."

"We don't have any better option, do we?" Merlin replied. "You should be glad that it's not raining, you prat."

"And you call me names again, you idiot," said the prince angrily. "You should really show me some respect. Just a bit of it."

"One must gain respect, Prince Charming." Merlin wasn't even angry. He was tired and he wanted to get some sleep. Arthur, however, had to learn his place. He was a prince but it didn't mean that he could look down on everyone and everything. "I won't respect you unless you give me a reason to."

Arthur clearly was about to say something but Kilgharrah decided to interrupt the quarrel before it turned into something more serious. "That's enough," he said in his most powerful voice. "You don't have to like or respect each other but you need to co-exist if we want our journey to be bearable." The dragon turned his attention directly at the prince. "I know it's not the best location but that's all we can have right now. You'll just have to get it through the night. I am sure you're capable of that."

"Of course," said Arthur proudly. "I just wanted to state my disappointment. That's all."

"For the future, you should keep your disappointment to yourself," muttered Merlin but the prince heard that.

"Do you want to start the fight again?" Arthur asked him angrily.

"SHUT UP!  _Both_ of you!"

The dragon had enough. He was aware that Merlin and Arthur belonged to two different worlds and that their relations would be tough at the beginning. Kilgharrah wanted them to see the things that they had in common and there was plenty of them. Merlin and Arthur just had to make an effort and try to understand each other.

"That's better," he said when both Merlin and Arthur remained silent. "We should start to act together. At the beginning we should start the fire. Just go find some wood. Both of you." To his surprise neither of them complained. The dragon was pleased. Despite his small appearance he had a spark in himself. That was reassuring.

 

* * *

 

It was long after midnight and the prince, despite Merlin's suggestion, did not turn into a toad. He was sleeping by a smouldering hearth in his human form.

Merlin was lying a few feet away from him, looking up at the sky. He couldn't fall asleep. It had been a tiring day but he had a few things to think about. He needed some peace and silence. The dragon, however, didn't seem to care about Merlin's needs.

"What are you going to do when it's over?" Kilgharrah asked the warlock.

"I'm not in a chatting mood," he said shortly. He really hoped that the dragon would let go this one time.

"Just answer," Kilgharrah insisted. "You must have some plans."

Merlin sighed inwardly. The dragon was a stubborn creature. Merlin knew it too well. He had to answer a few questions in order to be finally left in peace. It was the fastest way of dealing with Kilgharrah.

"Plans?" he said sceptically. "I'm going to do what I was doing before."

The dragon gave him a judging look. "You're not going to change anything?" he asked. "After all of this?"

"After what exactly?" Merlin responded with a question. "What I'm doing now is just a mean to get my old life back."

"Don't you seek some adventures? Deep inside?" the dragon kept asking. "Look what you've managed to do already. You could help people. I'm sure you would love to..."

"But people wouldn't like that," Merlin replied coldly. "They'd be afraid of me. How could I help someone who fears me...? Hates me...?"

"You can change that," Kilgharrah said quietly. "If you show them who you really are, they'll appreciate that. Besides, you would have me to help."

Merlin didn't want to be rude but he couldn't help laughing. It was a bitter laughter, though. The one that could make a man miserable inside.

"You can't be serious," Merlin said finally. "Do you have any idea what people would do if they saw us working together? They would never trust us. Never!" he emphasised it. "I don't really mean to offend you but it's true. People fear magic and we are walking and talking representatives of it."

"You should have more faith in people, Merlin," the dragon told him in a very calm voice. "If you didn't try so hard to hide from them, you would've known that."

"And why do you think I'm avoiding people?" Merlin asked bitterly. "Do you think I've always been like this?"

"Of course you haven't. You just gave up too soon," Kilgharrah said sadly. "You should give people a chance. You should prove them that they're wrong."

Merlin shrugged dismissively. "But why?" he asked. "I'm sorry but I don't see a point in that. I don't care any more."

"Deep down you know it's not true," the dragon said confidently.

Merlin hated his confidence. It was becoming more and more annoying with every minute. "How can you be so sure?" he asked a little bit desperately.

"You people are so easy to read," Kilgharrah told him. "It's funny to watch you sometimes. You always struggle to prove that you are not who you are. That's pointless. You'll come to this conclusion on your own, sooner or later, but it may be already too late."

Merlin frowned slightly. He didn't expect such reply from the dragon. He didn't know how to respond to defend his own kind.

"Too late for what?" He finally chose to ask about it. "You're not making any sense."

"And that's exactly what I was talking about, young warlock." Kilgharrah sighed sadly. "You should take an advice from someone who can watch."

"From you, I suppose?" Merlin asked cynically.

"For example," the dragon said quietly. "There are such things that I can see better than you. Destiny..."

"Don't," Merlin said warningly. "I don't want to listen about destiny crap. You keep repeating yourself, you know?"

Kilgharrah seemed sad. "I pity you, young warlock. I can see now that you'll have to learn from your own mistakes. You don't want to make anything easier for yourself." He sighed once again. "At least I tried. Let's hope it won't be too late for you."

"Do you realise that what you've just said doesn't make any sense to me?" Merlin asked the dragon.

"I'm afraid I do," Kilgharrah said sorrowfully."You should get some sleep now, young warlock. You need to be rested in the morning. It's going to be a long day."

"Finally you say something that makes some sense," Merlin told him a bit teasingly. "Good night, Kilgharrah." He turned his back to the dragon and closed his eyes in attempt to fall asleep. It wasn't easy but Kilgharrah was right about this one thing. He needed some rest.

Neither Merlin nor the dragon were aware that prince Arthur was awake all this time. He could hear everything what they said. Their every word.

The prince didn't mean to listen to their conversation but he couldn't sleep himself. It just happened.

Some part of him was pleased, though.

Something had changed in him.

Something vital.

Merlin no longer seemed so hostile and dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Please, review. I value your opinions.


	5. Of Breakfasts and Taverns

 

**Chapter 05**

" **Of Breakfasts and Taverns"**

Prince Arthur woke up early in the morning, long before Merlin and Kilgharrah did. He had a chance for his freedom. He could escape or at least try to. Such thoughts crossed his mind but he dismissed them immediately. Deep down inside his soul Arthur wanted to stay and see what new day would bring him. He had a strange feeling that continuing his journey with Merlin and the dragon was not a bad idea. He was still afraid of magic but Merlin's words that he'd overheard the previous night moved him deeply. The prince wanted to give Merlin a small chance. He wanted to find out if there were some sorcerers in the world who could be trusted. Arthur kept repeating himself that it was some kind of experiment. If he was to be king, he had to be more careful with his judgements. He wanted to be a fair and just king.

Arthur decided to start the new day with some act of kindness. Preparing breakfast seemed like a good start. He was not born a cook but he was able to do something. That was why he got up as silently as he could and went into the forest.

 

* * *

 

Merlin was woken by a very nice smell. At first, he thought that he was dreaming but the smell soon became too intense to be imagined. It made Merlin open his eyes slowly. He was a bit confused, not being sure where he was. Then the realisation came to him. He was on a mission of bringing prince Arthur to lady Morgana.

He sat up immediately. Something seemed very wrong. Merlin looked around and realised what it was. Arthur Pendragon was preparing something what looked very much like scrambled eggs. And in addition, the prince was using a stone to fry them.

"Good morning," said Arthur, glancing at Merlin. To the warlock's surprise, there was no bitterness or irony in the prince's voice.

"Morning," Merlin replied shortly. He was too confused to think about something more elaborate.

"I think it should be ready," Arthur told him. "Wake the dragon up, would you?"

"What is it?" Merlin finally overcame his confusion and asked.

"Scrambled eggs. You've eaten scrambled eggs before, haven't you?" The prince asked innocently.

"Of course I have but that's not what I am asking you about," said Merlin. "Why are you doing this?"

"Breakfast? It's morning... It's time for breakfast... I didn't want to eat berries again. I wanted something what gives more energy. Hence the eggs." Arthur smiled lightly. "Besides I wanted to thank you and Kilgharrah," he added shyly. "You've rescued me, after all. I should be grateful... And I am. That castle was so boring... You have no idea. Changing the environment was a blessing."

Merlin gaped at Arthur, speechless. That was the kindest thing the prince had ever told to him. He'd had no idea that the prat was capable of being grateful.

"You're welcome, I guess..." the warlock said finally. "The scrambled eggs smell great. I'll wake Kilgharrah to..."

"There's no need to wake me," said the dragon, looking at Merlin and Arthur with pride. Neither of them had noticed the moment the dragon woke up.

"You're awake. Finally," said Merlin, trying not to sound confused.

"Right in time, I would say," the dragon added, smiling to himself. "I can see you two are in better moods today. That's a great news."

"It's a new day," said Arthur. "A new start. I thought that if we are to spend a few days in one another's company, we should make it bearable. I don't want to fight. I spent so many lonely years in the castle. I need to learn to interact with people... and other creatures," he added after noticing dragon's look.

"It's a good thing," Kilgharrah told him. "I'm glad you've come to such conclusion."

Then the three of them started eating the scrambled eggs. The breakfast didn't taste bad, as Merlin had thought it would have been. It was actually quite good as for the food prepared on the stone in the forest. Merlin started wondering if the prince was going keep surprising him. He didn't know why but he was keen on finding it out.

 

* * *

 

"Is it a village in front of us?" Arthur asked Merlin after a few hours of walking.

They spent this whole time on chatting. They didn't talk about anything of great importance but Merlin had to admit that talking to the prince was not unpleasant. At some points it was even engaging. Moreover, the dragon was much quieter when Arthur was around and that was a great advantage too.

"Yes, it's a village," the warlock confirmed. "I promised you that we would eat something more suitable for a prince. I tend to keep my promises, you know?"

"It's good to know," said Arthur, smiling lightly. "Besides, I'm starting being hungry."

"You shouldn't eat much, though. If you want to be a fit king," Merlin said teasingly.

"I am fighting fit," the prince protested firmly.

"And you should keep it that way," replied Merlin and burst out laughing.

"I see no reason to laugh. I  _am_ fit and I have  _no_ reason to be worried about my weight," Arthur said.

"Sure." Merlin grinned. "Lady Morgana may find your round belly attractive."

The prince blushed like a maiden.

"You two should stop it immediately," Kilgharrah spoke up after his long muteness. "I thought you were over fighting."

"We're not fighting, Kilgharrah," Merlin assured him. "I just stated my concerns about Arthur's weight. If he feels healthy and fit and accepts his body, that's great. He's got my full support."

Arthur's face became even redder. "Can we stop talking about my weight?" he asked through his teeth. "You make me feel like I was a girl."

"And you're not a damsel in distress?" It was a teasing question that Merlin couldn't help asking.

"Merlin," the dragon said, worryingly glancing at the prince. Kilgharrah feared that Arthur would be offended and the whole progress he had made would be in vain. To his surprise, the prince didn't look offended at all. He was a bit embarrassed but he didn't seem angry with Merlin.

"Sorry," the warlock said to Arthur. "Let's go get some food."

When they were close to the village, the dragon made them all stop.

"What's wrong, Kilgharrah?" Merlin asked him.

"I won't go there with you," the dragon told them. "I've got the feeling people may feel uncomfortable around me. They may ask you some odd questions about me. Besides, you don't really need me there. I'll wait for you here, in the forest. That will be better."

Merlin and Arthur agreed with him. They didn't want to reveal their identities. It was safer to get through the village incognito.

 

* * *

 

There was a tavern in that village. It made their search for food much easier. The taverns, however, could also be dangerous. Merlin and Arthur had to be twice careful in order to avoid attention. People in the taverns were usually suspicious, especially the regulars.

"We're buying food and getting out of there, right?" Merlin asked when they were on their way to the tavern. "No unnecessary talking. We don't want any troubles."

"Agreed," said Arthur. "About buying..."

"Don't worry," Merlin said quickly. "I've got a few coins."

"I've got plenty of them," the prince told him, showing him a pouch. Arthur opened it so Merlin could see at least two dozens of golden coins.

"You should hide it," Merlin told Arthur.

"I'm not a child." Arthur took out one coin and carefully hid the pouch in his garment. "I pay for my food."

"Where did you get these coins anyway?" Merlin asked him quietly. "It's an actual gold. Not silver."

"You know who I am," the prince said.

"Sure, but... You were imprisoned... It doesn't make any sense." The warlock shook his head. "You didn't need money there, in the castle."

"True," Arthur admitted. "My father gave me the coins when he was saying me goodbye, though. It was a strange gift, I admit, but what could I do? I took the coins. My father told me that I would need them later. He said that a prince shouldn't be penniless." He smiled sadly. "At least I can make some use of them now," he added. "And here we are!"

They stopped in front of the tavern. It didn't look friendly but it was all they could get right then. They couldn't wrinkle up their noses.

The tavern looked even worse inside. All furniture was old and some of it in pieces. Moreover, the tavern was messy and something stank in there.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Arthur asked Merlin very quietly.

The warlock wasn't sure himself.

Nonetheless, there was no chance for a retreat. That would be suspicious.

They had to behave as naturally as they could. That was their only chance for getting out of there safely.

"You want something, dearies?" a middle-aged woman asked them. Her  _dearies_ didn't sound friendly, though. "Some ale, probably?"

"We just wanted to buy some food..." started Merlin but he was interrupted by Arthur instantly.

"Ale sounds good," the prince said. "We'll have two goblets, please."

Merlin looked at him meaningfully. That wasn't a part of their plan after all.

"Take a seat. I'll bring it to you," said the woman in a bit bored tone.

Merlin sighed inwardly. They had no choice if they wanted to look like normal travellers. They had to sit at a table and drink some ale.

"What was that?" Merlin murmured when they took the table in the corner.

"I've never drunk ale in my life," Arthur said, a bit embarrassed. "I was too young when... you know. I saw people drink it but I wasn't allowed to taste it myself. I'm just curious."

Merlin didn't know what to say. He didn't think about such things in that way. Arthur showed him a brand new perspective. It must have been very difficult to be taken from the world as a child and then returned as an adult. There was plenty of things that people treated casually but Arthur had never experienced.

"Don't be mad," Arthur said when he didn't receive any reply from Merlin.

"I'm not," he told the prince. "You could have just warned me before we got here. That's all."

"I didn't know that I would like to taste ale," said Arthur truthfully. "It was just an impulse. I couldn't help myself..."

"And for the future, don't use such words as  _please_ in the places like this. People who come here are not polite."

"I'll remember that," the prince said. "Although, I don't think I'm going to need that knowledge ever again."

Merlin wasn't sure but he thought he heard some sadness in Arthur's voice. He had a feeling that some part of Arthur longed for a normal, regular life. That thought made Merlin feel a bit sad too. He didn't know why.

"Here's your ale." The barmaid brought them two goblets, threw a suspicious look at them and walked away to serve other men.

"That's your first time, then," said Merlin to Arthur. "Drink it."

"It doesn't smell good," the prince told him, hesitating.

"True. You wanted to try it, though. Go on!"

Merlin watched Arthur with amusement as the prince was taking his first sip.

"And?" he asked when Arthur put the goblet back on the table.

"It's not bad," the prince said after a while. He didn't sound convincing at all.

"Are you sure?" Merlin asked him.

"Take a sip and find out yourself," said Arthur.

Merlin did as Arthur told him. "It's not bad indeed," he lied.

"It's disgusting," Arthur murmured.

The warlock laughed. "The worst ale I've ever drunk," he admitted.

The prince joined him in laughing. "We should drink it, though," he said. "In order not to look suspicious."

"I know," Merlin agreed and they continued drinking and laughing.

Suddenly, the barmaid came back to them. "You want some more?" she asked, looking at Arthur closely. "You seemed to enjoy your drink very much."

"Ale was delicious but we've had enough," said Arthur. "We'd like to buy some food for our further journey."

The woman raised her eyebrow. "Where are you going?" she asked as if casually but Merlin felt that she was dying to know.

"East," Arthur told her the truth.

"Lady Morgana's land?" she asked, trying to smile innocently.

"That's correct," Arthur confirmed.

Merlin had an urge to kick Arthur in his royal ass. Telling the woman the aim of their journey was a bad idea. Merlin was sure of that when he saw as she exchanged an odd look with one of the men in the other corner of the tavern.

"What are you searching for there?" the barmaid kept asking.

"We're merchants," Arthur said smoothly.

"I see." The woman smiled lightly. "Is it a family business? Are you brothers?"

Merlin wanted to say yes. That would make things much easier and would prevent any further, indiscreet questions. Arthur, however, tended to make things difficult.

"No, we're not," he said, laughing. "Look at us. We look so different."

"I see," said the woman. "You're friends, then?"

"Sort of," Arthur told her.

"I don't want to interrupt but we need to hurry," Merlin said suddenly. He couldn't let the conversation continue. They were far from looking normal right then. The best thing they could do was to get away from the tavern and the village as soon as possible. "We've got things to do. Can we buy here some food?" Merlin asked the woman.

"Sure," she answered shortly. "What do you need?"

"Some bread, cheese and meat. Really... whatever you have," Merlin said quickly, smiling nervously.

"Follow me," she said and they did.

Luckily, the food looked and smelled much better than ale and the tavern itself.

"We'll take it all," said Merlin.

"That won't be cheap," the woman warned them.

"We've got money," said Arthur, showing his golden coin to her. "Is it enough?"

"It is," she said, taking the coin greedily into her hand. "You should come here on your way back," she added.

"We will," Arthur promised and smiled at her lightly.

Merlin grabbed the food and started going towards the door quickly. The prince followed him immediately. When they were out and there was no one around them, Merlin snapped at him, "what was that?"

"I wanted to be nice," Arthur replied.

"What did I tell you about being nice?" Merlin asked, sighing. "That's suspicious. Did you see the way she looked at us?"

"Sorry," the prince said shortly.

"Besides, why did you tell her where we're going?" Merlin kept asking. "That was a mistake. I truly want to be wrong but I sense troubles."

"Don't panic," Arthur told him. "What can she do? She won't follow us. Why would she?"

"I don't know," said Merlin. "And that's even worse. I don't know what to expect."

Merlin had reasons to be worried. Although, he and Arthur were yet to discover why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. I hope I don't disappoint you.
> 
> Reviews are love!


	6. Gwaine and his Merry Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long delay. I don't have as much free time as I used to so I may not be able to update the story every week, though I'll try. I hope you understand.

**Chapter 06**

" **Gwaine and his Merry Men"**  


Everything seemed perfectly fine. No one interrupted their meal. No one tried to mug them. They didn't even see any other living soul since they had left the village.

Merlin started to feel a little bit better. He started to hope that he had misunderstood the barmaid's behaviour. It seemed that they had more luck than Merlin had thought.

"You look relieved," Arthur said to him.

"Well, I am," Merlin admitted. "We were extremely lucky today. You must know that. These people in the tavern looked at us suspiciously. There were moments when I feared that they knew who you are." He sighed. "I know that you lack in social skills. You don't have an experience... And that's why you should be careful."

"I'm trying," Arthur said shortly.

"I know." Merlin smiled sadly. "It'll come to you in time. You'll see."

"Since when are you an expert in social skills, Merlin?" the dragon asked him, speaking up suddenly. The boys almost forgot that he was there.

"What do you mean, Kilgharrah?" Arthur asked before Merlin had a chance to say anything. "Merlin is quite helpful..."

"I'm sure, he is," said the dragon. "You should know, however, that Merlin finds interacting with other people quite difficult."

Arthur knew that already. After all he had heard the conversation that Merlin had with Kilgharrah last night. However, the prince couldn't let them know that he'd heard everything. He didn't even know why he should make his knowledge a secret but it just felt right and he wanted to do everything in a right way.

"That's not true," Merlin denied. "Don't listen to Kilgharrah. He barely knows me. He's got no idea what he's talking about."

"But you have some issues, Merlin," the dragon told him firmly.

"You've got the issues of your own," the warlock said in his own defence.

"We all have," Arthur spoke up. "It doesn't matter, though. I'll appreciate any help." He sighed lightly. "You know the world better than me. You know how it works."

"You'll learn it," Merlin said reassuringly. He didn't know where the softness in his voice came from.

"Thanks." Arthur truly meant it. Despite the magic, the prince was glad for Merlin's company. Arthur would never admit that but Merlin seemed a very good teacher. A better teacher than Arthur could hope for. There was something about him that Arthur didn't understand but it was a part of his charm. The fear of Merlin started slowly disappearing, being slowly replaced by gratefulness and something close to trust.

Their comfort didn't last long, though. Just when Merlin started believing that they were safe and that no one would disturb their journey, something unpleasant happened. The group of six men surrounded them. One of them was dressed much better and richer than the others and he was the only one who had not been present at the tavern. It seemed that this man was the leader of the group. He came closer to Arthur and smiled nonchalantly.

"Hello, your highness," he said, bowing lightly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Arthur lied. He had a feeling that it was the best thing to do, though the chances that these men were going to believe him were scant.

"You don't have to hide your true identity from me,  _prince Arthur_ ," the man told him. "I mean no harm to you. I'm honoured to meet you."

Arthur glanced at Merlin nervously. He wasn't sure what to do. Merlin, however, was bewildered too. Arthur had to think fast and do something himself.

"Who are you?" he decided to ask.

"Pardon, prince Arthur. How rude of me. Where are my manners?" the man said smoothly. "I am Cendred.  _Lord_  Cendred," he emphasised.

"I'm sorry but your name doesn't ring a bell. I wasn't around for quite a long time," Arthur told him.

"I know your situation very well. I'm not offended. I understand." Cendred smiled brightly at him. "I'm willing to explain everything to you, prince Arthur. You need to know that I am a close ally and friend of Lady Morgana, your future wife. I was waiting for you to greet you in my land. I knew that you would come this way sooner or later. My men were watching all travellers and they were..."

"You mean your spies," Merlin spoke up suddenly, glancing harshly at Cendred's men. "Why did you even bother?"

"I wasn't addressing you, warlock," Cendred said, looking at Merlin as if he was a piece of dirt.

"Have lady Morgana sent you?" Arthur asked him. He wanted to know why the lord bothered to find him too.

"No, she hasn't," Cendred admitted, using his smooth tone. "It was my idea to meet you here and to accompany you, prince Arthur."

"You want to accompany me?" Arthur asked, frowning slightly. "That's not necessary. I've got a company already."

"Yes, I can see that." Cendred glanced at Merlin and the dragon with unhidden disgust. "I believe, however, that you deserve something better. You deserve a noble company. I can guarantee that. The company of that filthy warlock and a poor excuse for a dragon must be dull to your highness. I'm here to help." Cendred raised his hand in a gesture of friendship.

Arthur looked at his hand very closely. He took a breath and then said, "I like to choose my company by myself," ignoring the hand.

Cendred waited a couple of more seconds before retreating his hand. "You should raise your standards, prince Arthur," he said. "Then you'll see that my offer is a good one."

"It may be a good one but I didn't ask for it," Arthur replied.

"It's a pity." Cendred sighed. "I hoped we'd do it the easy way. You don't let me. I must insist, though," he said, drawing his sword out. "Forcefully."

Merlin was about to use his magic in their defence but one of Cendred's men was faster. He hit Merlin forcefully, making the warlock fall unconscious.

"This filthy warlock won't help you," Cendred told Arthur, smirking.

In the meantime the dragon tried to do something but there were too many men and he was too small. Kilgharrah, however, made enough fuss for Arthur to react somehow. Cendred, his men and the dragon were equally surprised when they saw how fit and fast Arthur truly was. He ran towards one of Cendred's man, kicked him and took his sword in the blink of an eye.

Arthur got the weapon but he was still outnumbered. He knew that his chances were scant. He wasn't stupid. However, that knowledge didn't make him give up. He believed that miracles sometimes happened. He hoped that it was one of such times.

The prince was surrounded. He wasn't worried about himself, though. He was certain that Cendred wouldn't kill him. He was too valuable to lady Morgana and it seemed that Cendred was trying to impress her. Arthur's life was safe. However, the prince was worried about Merlin's life. The warlock was still unconscious. Besides, Cendred's clearly despised him.

As a child, Arthur had seen people like Cendred. They loved harassing and torturing their weak victims. Arthur feared that Merlin would become one of Cendred's pets. He couldn't let such a fate happen to Merlin. He had to stop Cendred. He owed Merlin as much.

Despite his best efforts, Arthur was losing. He fought bravely but he was getting more and more tired with every second. There were too many opponents and too little allies.

When the prince started thinking that it was the end and that he failed, a long awaited miracle happened.

The small group of men jumped out of nowhere and without asking any questions, these men started fighting with Cendred and his people. Arthur could not believe in what he was seeing in front of his eyes. He was weak and tired but it didn't matter. He tried to keep fighting but one of the men pushed him gently towards a tree, shaking his head. Arthur decided not to argue. It required the strength that he lacked at the moment.

In a few moments the fighting was over. Cendred ran away as his men were being defeated. They followed their lord immediately and soon there was no sign of them.

The whole scene amused Arthur. He wanted to laugh but he was too tired. After taking a couple of deep breaths something occurred to him. Merlin was unconscious and he needed help.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked, trying to come closer.

Merlin was surrounded by the group of strangers who helped them. One of the men was kneeling by Merlin's side, checking on him.

"Is he all right?" Arthur kept asking.

The man looked at him. "He will be," he promised. "We just need to take care of him. Percival," the man turned towards the tallest of his companions, "you know what kinds of herbs we need. Find them."

"Who are you anyway?" Arthur asked suspiciously while the tallest man was walking away.

"I'm Gwaine," said the man who was kneeling by Merlin's side. "We are the Merry Men."

"Who?" the prince asked, frowning.

"Surely you must have heard of us. We are Gwaine, Percival, Elyan, Leon and Lancelot. You must have!"

The prince shook his head. "It doesn't matter now, anyway. Merlin is hurt. We need to help him," he said a bit worryingly.

"We're waiting for the herbs, aren't we?" said Gwaine. "How could you not hear about us? We help people in need! We help people like you..."

"Noble people call you robbers and troublemakers" the dragon spoke suddenly, surprising the Merry Men.

"What kind of magic is that?" asked the dark-skinned man whose name was Elyan.

"It's talking?" asked Gwaine.

"My name's Kilgharrah," said the dragon proudly. "And yes, I can talk. Some dragons have such ability."

"I've never heard of that."

"Neither did I."

"Nor me."

"That's not important," said Arthur firmly. He was a little bit annoyed. They were making a fuss over the dragon's ability to speak while Merlin was hurt and unconscious. "Kilgharrah can talk. End of story. We should focus on Merlin."

"Your friend will be fine," Gwaine assured him. "As soon as Percival brings the herbs, we'll take care of his wounds."

"But he's unconscious," Arthur said worryingly. "Why is he unconscious?"

"Believe me, that's better," Gwaine told him. "At least he doesn't feel any pain."

"But is it safe?" the prince insisted. "I owe him a lot. I can't let him die or something..."

"He will not die," said Gwaine, laughing. "The wound is not that deep. His life is not in danger. When we treat his wound, he'll just need to take some rest."

Arthur decided to trust the strangers. After all he had no idea about the healing process. He could only hope that the Merry Men knew what they were doing.

While Percival was looking for the herbs, the others brought some wood and made a fire. It was a wise thing to do as it was a late afternoon and soon it would get dark.

When Percival came back with herbs, they started preparing a hot compress. Arthur wanted to help but after a while he was told to leave it to the others. He was a little sad about it but he understood the reason very well. He had no experience or inborn skills of healing people. He could do more harm than good. It was better to leave the healing to those who knew what they were doing. That was why Arthur moved out of the way, watching the Merry Men closely from the small distance. He felt responsible for Merlin's safety so he had to keep an eye on the strangers.

"He's in good hands," the dragon said to him.

"I hope so," Arthur replied shortly.

Kilgharrah tried to talk to him a little bit more but the prince wasn't in the mood and his answers were short and meaningless. The dragon understood that Arthur was focused on Merlin completely and he let go.

After half an hour, Gwaine nodded towards Arthur. The prince was on his feet immediately.

"What's wrong?" he asked worryingly.

"Nothing," Gwaine said, smiling reassuringly. "He's just sleeping. He should be absolutely fine in the morning. Trust me."

Arthur had no choice. He had to trust him. He had to have faith in the Merry Men's skills. The morning would show if Gwaine was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not proud of that chapter. For some reasons it was very difficult to write.
> 
> Let me know what you think.


	7. A pleasant feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for being a terrible updater. I don't know how it happened but it's been a month since the last chapter. I will try to update at least twice a month but I can't promise anything. I'm truly sorry.

**Chapter 07**

" **A pleasant feeling"**  


Merlin's head was hurting. The pain was not intense but it was still affecting his perception. He wasn't sure where he was or what had happened. He opened his eyes to find out but he closed them immediately because the sun was blinding him.

It all didn't make any sense to him.

"Merlin?" he heard a familiar voice. He focused on it and then realized that it belonged to Arthur.

"Yeah...?" the warlock murmured with a hoarse voice.

"Try to open your eyes slowly," said some unfamiliar voice.

Merlin frowned slightly. He felt that he had missed something important. "What's happening? Arthur...?" he asked weakly.

"Everything is fine," Arthur assured him. "Don't worry. Anyway, are you okay?"

"Bearable," said Merlin. "But what happened?" he asked after a while. "I don't remember much."

"Cendred attacked us," Arthur told him.

"I think I remember that part..." said Merlin, sitting up and touching his aching head. "It didn't look well, did it?" he asked. "We were surrounded and..." Merlin grimaced in pain.

"You should stop thinking immediately," Arthur said to him. "It's clearly not good for you."

"But I want to understand what happened," he said stubbornly. "I want to make sense of it all."

Arthur sighed lightly. Merlin didn't seem to have any common sense. "Fine. I'll explain everything to you if you lie down right now," the prince said.

Merlin agreed without any protest. Lying on the grass was comfortable and his head was still aching. "Are you content?" he asked half-teasingly.

"Yes," said Arthur.

"Then go on. Tell me what's happened... and who these people are."

"They are the Merry Men," Arthur told him. "They're friends. I think..."

This comment made Gwaine roll his eyes. "Of course we are," he murmured but both Merlin and Arthur heard him.

"They helped us when it all looked really badly," Arthur continued, ignoring Gwaine.

"That's what we do," Gwaine added, winking at Merlin.

"You defeated Cendred's men?" Merlin asked in disbelief.

"They were running away like a scared animal," said Gwaine with pride. "Including Cendred."

"Thank you for your help but why did you do that?" Merlin kept asking Gwaine. "You didn't know us. We were just strangers and you risked a lot helping us."

"We hate people like Cendred," Gwaine told him. "He doesn't care for ordinary people. He treats them like mud or his property. Helping you by making Cendred run away was an honour to us."

All Merry Men nodded in agreement.

"Then thank you again," said Merlin, smiling.

"We shouldn't waste our time on constant thanking," Gwaine told him. "It's breakfast time and I'm starving!"

The Merry Men started preparing a meal. Merlin wanted to help them but they didn't let him.

"You have to rest," Percival told him.

"But..."

"No  _buts_."

Arthur, however, tried to be useful and made a fire. For a while only Kilgharrah kept Merlin company. The warlock was usually annoyed by dragon's constant talking but at the moment it was distracting in a good way. They didn't talk about anything of great importance. It was just a small talk about the Merry Men and how they helped people.

The breakfast was surprisingly delicious. It was some kind of a stew that Merlin didn't recognise. He didn't bother to ask what was in it, though. Something was telling him that sometimes it was better not to know.

"How is it going, Merlin?" Gwaine asked him after the meal.

"I'm better now," the warlock answered, smiling at him.

"You definitely look better," the man told him, winking.

It made Merlin blush, though it shouldn't. He knew that he sometimes behaved like a girl but it was too much.

"In a moment, we'll check on your wound anyway," said Gwaine. "We don't want you to have any infection, do we?"

"Definitely," Merlin agreed shortly.

"Percival is a born physician. I'm telling you." Gwaine continued. "You know how to treat a man's body, don't you, Percy?" He winked at his tall companion.

Merlin blushed even more. He had a feeling that Gwaine was doing it on purpose.

"No one's ever complained," Percival said.

"At least none of us," said Gwaine, grinning.

Arthur was sitting silently, observing the whole scene. He had a feeling that there was something wrong in it. Something just didn't fit.

"Have you lost your voice, princess?" Gwaine asked him suddenly.

Arthur didn't know what to say. The Merry Men didn't know that he was a prince. At least it didn't seem so. Besides, he was not a girl. The title that Gwaine gave him was simply offensive.

"Don't call me that," he told him.

"Come on!" Gwaine patted him on the back. "That's a nice nickname. I could've given you a far worse one..."

"Just stop it, Gwaine," Merlin asked him politely.

"As you wish," said Gwaine. "I'm doing it only because you're injured. Arthur," he turned his attention to the other man, "you shouldn't be so sensitive, though."

Arthur didn't say anything. He just looked away, ignoring Gwaine completely.

Gwaine didn't seem to care. He and his companions took care of Merlin's wound. It was healing well but they changed its dressing nonetheless.

"You should be fine," Leon said to Merlin.

"You were really lucky," Percival added, smiling.

"I think I was," Merlin admitted. "If you hadn't been there... I don't want to think what would have happened."

"That's our job." Gwaine grinned. "It was a pleasure to help you, Merlin. I wish all people were like you. The world would be better then." It made Merlin blush and he couldn't even hide it. "We should be going now, though."

"It's time for us," Percival agreed. "There are other people who need our help."

"I understand," said Merlin. "It's time for us too." He glanced at Arthur who was still remaining silent.

"So this is it," Gwaine said to Merlin, patting him on the arm. "Try to keep out of troubles. We may not be there to help you."

"I will try," Merlin promised.

When they parted , Merlin turned his attention back to Arthur. "You are sulking," he told him.

"I'm not," Arthur denied.

Merlin sighed. "It's my fault. I know that."

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked, frowning.

"I delayed our journey. I said that you would meet lady Morgana in three days. Our journey will take a little bit more now. I'm sorry."

"It doesn't mater," said Arthur and he truly meant that. "The truth is that I almost forgot what is the purpose of our journey. I've seen so much in such a small amount of time. That's amazing... The world is amazing."

"So you think that me getting injured was amazing?" Merlin teased him.

"You know I didn't mean that." Arthur sighed. "It's just... I've been imprisoned for so long... And I just didn't know what I was missing. I mean... I knew that the world was out there. I knew that exploring it would be exciting... However, knowing something and doing it are two different things."

Merlin listen to him carefully. He knew exactly what Arthur meant. Merlin had been keeping himself away from other people and the world in general. Now he knew that he had been missing something this whole time. He couldn't believe that such thought hadn't crossed his mind before.

"Are you thrilled to keep exploring the world for a little bit longer?" Merlin asked him.

"Sure."

"Then we should continue our journey," he said. "If we stay here, nothing exciting will happen to us." Merlin glanced at the dragon. "Kilgharrah, are you ready to go?"

"I'm always ready to go," the dragon said, flying closer to them. "I wonder if you are ready, Merlin. You should probably rest as your wound is still fresh."

"I'm fine," said Merlin firmly.

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked him. "I don't mind delaying our journey a little bit more."

Merlin sighed. "You are impossible. I'm really fine. I should probably avoid running but I can walk easily. Just take a look." He started walking in a circle as if it was going to prove something."

"All right," said Arthur. "But you must tell me if you feel dizzy or something like that. Do we have a deal?"

"Don't worry. I'll tell you." Merlin smiled lightly.

"Why are you keep smiling?" Arthur asked him after a few minutes of walking. "Are you laughing at me?"

"No," Merlin said immediately. "The opposite, in fact."

"The opposite?"

"Yes. I can see some progress in your behaviour," Merlin told Arthur. "I saw you. You were trying to be useful. You made an effort. A poor one, considering your attitudes towards the Merry Men, but I appreciate it. That was a good beginning."

"Thanks," said Arthur, avoiding the eye contact with Merlin. He didn't want Merlin to know it but these words meant a lot to him.

Arthur started to feel oddly comfortable around Merlin. He knew that Merlin was a warlock but it somehow stopped bothering him. He didn't see the warlock. He saw a person. Merlin was clumsy and funny. Merlin was his teacher. Arthur started to wonder what it would be like to explore the world by Merlin's side. He felt that it would be much better than spending the rest of his life in the castle. He didn't know lady Morgana so he couldn't judge her but the idea of marrying her suddenly seemed ridiculous. It was true that Arthur had insisted on marrying her as soon as possible. However, he had insisted on it because it was something that was expected of him. It was his responsibility to marry a noble woman in order to get rid of the curse, so his father would no longer be ashamed of him.

Arthur knew what he had to do. Nonetheless, a short period of freedom seemed harmless. He was young and curious of the world so he was going to enjoy the journey while it lasted.

Merlin observed Arthur closely. There was something different about him. Merlin didn't know what it was but the change was definitely for the better. A blind man could see that.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Arthur asked, leaning on a tree and eating an apple.

They were supposed to have a short break but it turned into a long one. Arthur was gazing around in awe. He looked like a child who found everything surprising.

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked. He leaned on a nearby tree and had his eyes closed, relaxing.

"A forest," said Arthur.

Merlin shrugged lightly. "It's just a forest. One of many forests in the world."

"I see it differently," the prince told him.

Merlin opened his eyes and looked at his companion.

"I haven't seen many forests in my life," Arthur continued. "Most of the time I saw the walls of the castle. They were boring and made me upset or angry."

"How many years have you been imprisoned?" Merlin asked, suddenly realizing that he didn't know.

"Seven and a half. Since I was fourteen," said Arthur flatly. He was not angry or sad. He seemed strangely indifferent.

"That's awful. How did you manage? How could you stand it?" Merlin kept asking. "It sounds surreal."

"Believe me. That was my reality," Arthur told him.

"It's not like that. I believe you. I do." Merlin sighed. "I just can't believe that someone did it to a young boy."

"I told you before. My father did it to ensure my safety," Arthur said, throwing an apple core away.

"He might have been worried about you, I know," replied Merlin. "However he hurt you in a different way. He made you miserable."

"I don't want to think about it ever again," said Arthur. "It's over, Merlin. I can't change the past. What's done is done. I want to enjoy my life now and that's exactly what I'm doing." He smiled lightly. "I praise the beauty of the forest. I eat delicious apples and I can talk to another person."

Merlin smiled too. "I'm glad that you look at life this way," he said. "It's a good choice."

They remained silent for a few more minutes. After that time Merlin woke the dragon up who was napping this whole time and then they continued their journey.

Merlin was still amazed by Arthur's words. He couldn't stop thinking about their wisdom. He had a feeling that he could learn something good from Arthur. That was a pleasant feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? I know it wasn't an exciting chapter but the story will get better in time.


	8. Small realisations

 

**Chapter 08**

" **Small realisations"**

Merlin and Arthur were lying side by side, next to a fire. It was a late evening but none of them felt like falling asleep. There were so much things to talk about and so little time. Merlin just realised that. Soon, Arthur would join lady Morgana in the castle. Their journey was slowly coming to an end and this thought made Merlin upset. He realised that he didn't want the journey to end. He wanted it to continue. Even though Arthur was a prat and he had some issues, it was good to have him around. Merlin felt as if he had a real friend and it was a pleasant feeling.

Arthur was also thinking about last few days and the future. The longer the journey lasted, the less he wanted to get to the castle. He was fully aware of his responsibilities. He knew that he just couldn't stop being a prince, though it would have made his life easier. It was true that he had despised Merlin. However, it had changed quickly and now Arthur saw a friend in him. He wanted their friendship to continue. He hoped that it was possible.

"If nothing unexpected happens, we will probably get to the castle by tomorrow evening," Merlin spoke suddenly.

"Oh," said Arthur quietly. "I thought it would take a little bit longer."

"Surprisingly, we caught up with the journey today," Merlin explained.

"I see..." murmured Arthur. "I'm not sure if I want our journey to end so quickly."

To Merlin's surprise, his heart skipped a beat. "Why?" he asked a bit shyly.

"I'm afraid of my future as a ruler and... husband," Arthur admitted. "I know it's stupid. I should be excited, shouldn't I? It's just... I don't even know what it is."

"You have right to be afraid," Merlin told him. "As a ruler you'll be responsible for many people. And as a husband... you don't know your future wife. That's not a comfortable situation." He glanced at Arthur and realised what he just said. "I'm so sorry. I should give you some comfort and I'm making it worse."

Arthur took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're honest with me," he said. "I don't need a false comfort. I know what's real. I need to face it." He sighed silently and continued, "I'm glad that it was you who helped me get out of the castle."

"You are?" Merlin asked weakly as a strange warmth filled his body.

"Yes," said Arthur quietly. Then he cleared his throat and smiled, adding, "it could have been someone worse."

Merlin rolled his eyes and then smiled lightly. He wasn't mad at Arthur. The prince was a teasing prat but his company was entertaining.

"I'm glad I did it," Merlin admitted suddenly. "You know... My life is quite boring. And I finally had a chance to move my lazy ass and do something exciting."

"I don't understand you," said Arthur. "You are free. You have  _magic_. You could do whatever you want. Why won't you make your life exciting?"

Merlin shrugged. "I'm not sure," he murmured. "It's perhaps lack of motivation."

Arthur remained silent for a few moments. He longed for a life Merlin could have. The warlock had so many opportunities and he was going to waste them. It made Arthur upset. He didn't want to stay and look at such a waste. He had to do something.

"You need to promise me something," Arthur said suddenly.

"Promise?" Merlin frowned as he had no clue what the prince meant.

"You cannot keep living like this. My life is planned for me and I can do nothing about it. You, however... you can change your life. You can make it more thrilling." Arthur turned his head to look at him closely. "You have to promise me that you're not going to waste your life."

"But why?" Merlin asked. "That's my life, not yours."

"Because I can't change mine," Arthur said decisively.

"But..."

"No  _buts_ , Merlin." The prince was stubborn. "I want to know that some people can live a good and exciting life. Prove it to me."

Merlin sighed heavily. "Fine," he said. "I promise you that I'll change my life. Are you content?"

" _You_  should be content," said Arthur but he grinned at Merlin. "And if you think that it's just an empty promise, then you're wrong. I'll make sure that you keep it. Remember!"

"I don't make promises lightly," Merlin told him. "I'm going to keep it. I'm just curious how you're going to make sure that I do."

"That's easy," the prince said. "I'm going to visit you from time to time and check it."

"You're going to visit me? Really?" Merlin asked, feeling a sudden warmth on his cheeks.

"Sure," Arthur confirmed. "I've got a feeling that my life will be planned and boring. I'm going to need some distraction from time to time. So I thought that it would be nice to visit you sometimes." He smiled shyly. "Unless you don't want me to," he added a bit nervously.

"I think it's not a bad idea," said Merlin. "It could be actually nice. Maybe I would teach you a thing or two. Maybe you'd stop being a prat."

"Hey!" Arthur said, punching Merlin lightly.

The warlock just laughed. "Besides I'll need you to make sure that I keep my promise," he said. "I can be forgetful sometimes."

"Then we have a deal," Arthur told him.

"I think we do," said Merlin, smiling.

Then none of them said anything. They didn't fall asleep instantly but they cherished a comfortable silence. It was good to think that on the next day, they would not part forever. Arthur couldn't help being excited. He had become very fond of Merlin over last few days. He didn't want to lose the bond that he thought they shared. That was why he mentioned the possibility of visiting Merlin. He wanted to be certain that Merlin wanted it too.

Kilgharrah watched Merlin and Arthur silently from afar. He didn't want to disturb them. It was better that way. He knew things they couldn't know. Despite his small appearance, he was quite old; certainly older than these two. The dragon was also wiser and he could see clearer. He knew about destiny and he was certain that these two were meant to meet. However, Kilgharrah also knew the darker side of destiny. Every destiny had its darker side and it was almost impossible to avoid it. Nonetheless, the arising issue was never hopeless. There was always a way to overcome it. Humans, however, not always tried hard enough to do it.

At that point, Merlin and Arthur seemed fine but Kilgharrah knew that the problems would soon arise. For that moment, however, the dragon couldn't do anything but wait.

 

oOoOo

The night turned into the day sooner than Merlin and Arthur liked it. They were awake for half of the night and the idea of early start was far from exciting. Therefore, they tried to prolong the moment as much as they could.

Kilgharrah saw it all but he didn't say anything. It was still not the time for him to get involved. Neither the time nor place was right. However, the dragon was patient. He hoped that the two young men that he was taking care of were patient too.

Watching Merlin and Arthur was a funny thing. The way they moved around each other and the pace of their conversations were in constant change. There were moments when these two were really close, talking as if they were the last people on earth. Five minutes later, however, when they suddenly realised that their closeness could be seen as improper, they moved away in sync. A blind man could see that Merlin and Arthur grew very close. There was no way to hide it and any efforts that they made were hopeless.

The day was getting shorter and shorter and they were getting closer and closer to lady Morgana's castle. Merlin recognised the surroundings. He knew that they would get to the castle by the evening and it hurt him. He didn't want to let Arthur go but there was nothing he could do. The fact that Arthur wasn't keen on going there made it even more painful.

Arthur was a bit tensed. He knew that the castle was near, He could see it in Merlin's sad eyes.

The prince didn't want to leave Merlin as if the time they spent together didn't mean anything to him. That would be untrue. Merlin was his friend and he wanted to treat him as one. He wanted to show him some respect. He wanted to get rid of the sadness from Merlin's eyes. To do that, however, Arthur needed more time.

"Merlin, wait," he spoke suddenly, stopping.

The warlock looked at him. "What's wrong?" he asked. "We're almost there."

Arthur wanted to say that it was exactly what was wrong but he bit his tongue. "I think Kilgharrah needs a break," he said, trying to sound convincing.

"Me?" asked the dragon.

"Yes, you," the prince insisted. "Look at yourself! The journey has exhausted you. There's no denying."

"I think Arthur may be right," said Merlin, looking at Kilgharrah closely. "You look different. You look..."

"A little bit ill?" Arthur suggested.

"Exactly!" Merlin agreed.

"So we're staying here tonight?" the prince asked hopefully.

"I think that's the best idea. I can find something to eat," said Merlin. "It's time for supper anyway."

"I'll bring some wood then," Arthur told him. "We'll need a fire to cook and to keep Kilgharrah warm. That's essential when someone is ill."

The truth was the dragon was fine. However, he didn't say anything, knowing what these two were doing. It was a desperate act but Kilgharrah understood it entirely. Merlin and Arthur wanted to stay together for a little bit longer so they made up the reason to stay. They had no idea how to do it any other way. Talking about such delicate matters was their weak point, as both of them had a history of being lone wolves.

Kilgharrah sighed lightly. Merlin and Arthur had to start behaving as adults if they didn't want to waste their chance. The dragon hoped that it wasn't too soon for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's short and late. I hope you liked it, though.


	9. Breaking the silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been three months. I've been busy with life, university and merthur party on Tumblr. Please, forgive me.
> 
> The chapter is not perfect but I hope you'll like it.

**Chapter 09**

" **Breaking the silence"**

 

The evening was calm and peaceful. Merlin and Arthur were sitting by a fire, waiting for their supper to be ready. Kilgharrah was lying on the ground, pretending to be asleep. These two young men needed space and the dragon was aware of that. They had things to talk about on their own. Kilgharrah couldn't help them in that matter.

"It's delicious," said Arthur as he took the first bite of his stew.

"Thanks," Merlin replied, smiling sheepishly. He made all the effort to prepare the meal. He wanted it to be tasty and special. He wanted Arthur to remember it and perhaps to make the prince visit him soon.

"Why aren't you eating it?" Arthur asked. "You should try it!"

Merlin blushed lightly and took his first bite. He preferred watching Arthur to eating his meal but he had to admit that it was odd and he didn't want to make Arthur feel uncomfortable.

The prince smiled at him. "You see," he said. "That's better."

"Tomorrow you're going to eat in a more royal way," said Merlin suddenly, trying not to sound sad.

"I guess you're right," Arthur admitted, looking intensely at his stew. "Royal meals. Royal company. Royal duties. Royal life."

"That's your future," said Merlin, "but you should try to find moments for yourself. Don't be an arrogant royal all the time. Promise me that."

"I won't be an arrogant king," said Arthur in his defence.

"You don't know that. Power corrupts people," Merlin replied.

"You won't let it happen, will you? When I visit you, you'll remember to keep me right." Arthur glanced at Merlin hopefully.

The warlock smiled lightly. "I'll do my best," he promised.

For a few moments they were eating their supper, watching each other in complete silence. It was getting darker and darker but none of them seemed to notice that. When they finished their meal, Merlin moved slightly towards Arthur. He didn't understand that but Arthur made him feel calm and safe.

"Where do you live?" the prince asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

"In a forest," Merlin answered. "Some people call it the Quiet Forest. One rarely sees other people there. I'm the only human who lives there."

"I hope I'll find that place," said Arthur.

Merlin smiled lightly, saying "if you get lost, call me and I'll find you. Besides, I can show you the way right now."

"What do you me...?" Arthur didn't finish his question as Merlin grabbed his hand and used his magic to show him the shortest way.

"Now you'll find my hut," said Merlin, letting Arthur's hand go.

"Your magic is truly amazing," the prince whispered.

"I'm glad you say that. You've changed your opinion during last few days, haven't you? You're not afraid of my magic," said Merlin.

"I'm not afraid of  _you_ ," Arthur stressed as he smiled warmly at his friend. "I wish I could travel the lands with you. I would explore the world and learn about your magic at the same time. It truly  _does_ fascinate me."

Merlin tried to hide his blush but he couldn't fool anyone. However, it wasn't the worst. Arthur's words made his blood run faster, especially in the lower part of his body. He couldn't help it and got aroused. Arthur's kind words made him aroused.

Merlin felt that he needed to do something. He didn't want Arthur to see it. He couldn't let that happen. It was quite dark but not dark enough to make him feel safe.

"Umh... It's late," said Merlin. "I need to... Nature calls... Besides... you should get some sleep.

"Merlin," said Arthur worryingly, "are you feeling well?"

"Yes. Sure. Why?" asked Merlin nervously.

"Can't we talk some more, then?" he asked

"We could but it's late. I'm tired. And the nature calls me." He stood up and quickly turned away from Arthur. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Arthur whispered but Merlin was already too far away from the fire to hear it.

The prince was confused. He knew that what he'd said was a bit intimate but it wasn't supposed to have such an effect on Merlin.

"He'll be fine," the dragon murmured suddenly.

Arthur looked at him. "I should have known you weren't sleeping," he said. "Damn it. I didn't want to scare Merlin off."

"It's not like that. Merlin is as confused as you are," Kilgharrah told him. "Besides, he's sad that our journey is nearly over. You've gained his friendship, Arthur. He's going to miss you."

"I'll miss him too," Arthur admitted. "But I'll see him again. It's not like he lives in some remote land."

"That's true," said Kilgharrah, "but it won't be the same."

"I know that," said Arthur sadly. "I wish I wasn't king's son. I wish I could travel the world with my friend. But I can't change who I am. I just can't."

"Exactly," the dragon agreed. "You cannot change who you are."

"What do you mean?" the prince asked him.

Kilgharrah shook his head. "I shouldn't be telling you this. I shouldn't get involved..."

"You've already got involved," Arthur said firmly. "Just tell me what you mean."

"I meant your curse," the dragon told him.

"There's no curse," said Arthur automatically.

"Stop denying that. I can sense your curse. I am the noble creature of magic. You cannot fool me, Arthur Pendragon," said Kilgharrah firmly. His voice was powerful. It made Arthur swallow hard.

"Fine, then. I am cursed," Arthur admitted. "If you know the nature of my curse, you should understand why it's so important to follow my royal duties."

"I  _do_ know the nature of the curse," the dragon admitted.

Arthur took a deeper breath. "Did you tell Merlin?" he asked. Her started to fear that Merlin's strange behaviour was caused by his knowledge of the curse.

"Merlin has no idea what it is," Kilgharrah assured him.

"Good. I don't want him to feel awkward around me," said Arthur. "He's my only friend."

"He's also the object of your desire, isn't he?" the dragon asked.

"So you truly do know my curse," said Arthur, blushing and looking down. "I can't help it, you know? I know it's wrong. Merlin's a male and people..." He shook his head. "It's wrong. It's my curse. That's why my father placed me in the tower. He wanted to protect me from my own desires. I've never been interested in girls. I didn't think that they were boring or something like that. I used to have female friends. But it wasn't them I wanted to kiss. It was lords' sons or stable boys. I knew that it wasn't normal but I couldn't chase these feelings away. My father told me that when I marry some noble woman, my curse will be broken. I just had to wait until I'm old enough to get married. Now I am."

"Do you believe your father? Do you think that it's so simple?" Kilgharrah asked him quietly.

"I used to think that," said Arthur.

"What about now?"

"Now I'm not sure any more," the prince admitted. "Merlin is so different. He's not like the boys I used to know. He's special."

"Do you think that your feelings will fade away when you marry Lady Morgana?" The dragon knew the answer but he had to ask the question.

"Probably not," said Arthur and laughed hysterically. "There's a part of me that does not want these feelings to disappear. I truly doubt they will anyway."

"Then, perhaps, you should share your feelings and your doubts with Merlin," the dragon suggested.

Arthur shook his head. "That's a bad idea. I don't want him to hate me."

"Do you think that Merlin is so shallow and heartless?" asked Kilgharrah.

"Of course not," Arthur denied immediately. "I just don't want to make things awkward. I don't want to lose the special bond that we share. I'd rather have his friendship than nothing."

"Then maybe you should give him more credit," the dragon said wisely. "Merlin clearly likes you."

"Merlin may stop when he finds out that I am abnormal... that I'm a monster," said Arthur bitterly.

oOoOo

When Merlin's arousal disappeared, he could sit down on a rock and think for a while.

He felt way too many things all at once. He realised why he had moved to a hut in a forest and lived on his own all that time. Contact with other people meant feelings and Merlin truly sucked at them. Feelings were complicated and he could never separate one thing from another when he became attached to somebody.

Arthur was such person but Merlin's epiphany came too late. In Merlin's eyes, Arthur turned from an arrogant prat to a close companion in a few days. Now Merlin wanted the prince even closer. He wanted to spend all his life travelling by Arthur's side. They could be good friends. They could even become more...

Merlin shook his head immediately. They could never be more than friends. Arthur was not like Merlin. Even if they could travel the world, Arthur would never feel the same. They could have a beautiful friendship but being with Arthur all the time would not be healthy for Merlin. They had to go separate ways with a promise of meeting from time to time. Arthur's rare visits were going to cheer Merlin up but they would not raise his hopes. It was a safe solution. Besides, there was no other solution for them. Arthur were to marry Lady Morgana soon. He would never abandon his duties.

Merlin sighed heavily. He knew that he was going to miss Arthur terribly. His life would never be the same again. Arthur would always be on his mind. Merlin was certain of that.

All that he could do right now was to hope that Arthur was going to keep his promise and visit him in his hut. He knew that Arthur was going to be a king and that it was a very serious and stressful position. Arthur wasn't going to have a lot of free time. Merlin started to wonder if he was interesting enough to make Arthur want to spend this time with him. It made him feel insecure. He couldn't truly know what was in Arthur's mind. Besides, the royal life could change him and his views greatly.

"Damn it," Merlin murmured to himself and kicked a stone.

He had to do something to convince Arthur that he was an interesting person. He wanted to maintain their friendship. He needed it in his life.

Merlin immediately rushed back to their camp. He hoped that Arthur wasn't sleeping yet. He needed more time to show the prince that he was a good and caring friend.

When he was nearing to the camp, he heard some voices. Kilgharrah and Arthur were discussing something feverishly. He knew that eavesdropping was wrong. Friends were not supposed to do that. However, his curiosity won and he hid behind a tree, trying to hear their conversation. When he heard his own name, he felt that he did the right thing. They were talking about him. He finally could find out what Arthur truly thought about him.

At first Merlin could hear only some separate words and they didn't make much sense. After a few seconds, he decided to use his magic to hear their conversation better. It was his mistake. He heard something that he had never wanted to hear again. Especially from Arthur.

"Who would like to spend his time with a monster?" he heard Arthur asking. "Tell me, Kilgharrah," the prince demanded.

The dragon remained silent for a moment and Merlin broke the spell. He didn't want to hear Kilgharrah's answer. He didn't want to hear other insults from Arthur. That was enough. Merlin was already crying and his heart was aching. He needed to get as far away from them as it was possible.

Once again he used his magic but this time to make himself move noiselessly. He didn't want Arthur to know that he heard him. He didn't want to hear prat's lies and explanation or other, more cruel insults.

At least now he knew that their friendship was non-existent. It was only in his head. Arthur didn't care for him at all.

It was a painful truth but it was better than living in a lie. At least Merlin kept saying it to himself. Eventually, he would get over it. He knew that it was going to take some time but he was going to be fine. Once again Merlin understood that he was meant to live a lonely life. There was no reason for him to deceive himself. The truth was freeing in the most cruel way and Merlin was going to embrace it.

However, he let himself for a last weakness. He let himself cry his heart out.

oOoOo

"Who would like to spend his time with a monster?"asked Arthur. "Tell me, Kilgharrah," he demanded.

The dragon remained silent for a longer while. He knew that he had to be careful with the words. "You should never call yourself a monster," he finally said.

"But I am one!" said Arthur bitterly.

"No, you are not." Kilgharrah looked at him very seriously. "You are many things, Arthur Pendragon, but a monster is not one of them. There are monster people but their hearts are cruel, bitter and empty like a desert. Your heart is hopeful and ready to love. It's not a heart of a real monster."

Arthur swallowed hard. "But people... and Merlin..." he said shyly and turned silent.

"Merlin's seen what kind of person you really are. He likes you and such a thing will not change his opinion of you," the dragon assured him.

"Do you think I should tell him?" asked Arthur.

"It doesn't matter what I think. You should do what you think is right," said Kilgharrah. "You have to decide what is more important to you. Your duties to your royal title or your heart. I can't make that decision for you."

Arthur nodded silently. Kilgharrah was right. He needed to make the toughest decision of his entire life on his own.

It was going to be a long night.

__

 


	10. A burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it's short and I'm late. I'm so sorry! I'll try to write another chapter much sooner.

**Chapter 10**

“ **A burden”**

 

Arthur didn't sleep that night at all. There was a part of him that wanted to tell Merlin everything. However, the other part wanted to keep it a secret. Nothing seemed truly right. There was no good solution to his problem. He was afraid that by making this one decision, he could ruin everything.

Another thing that worried him was Merlin's absence. He didn't notice it at first but in the middle of the night he realised that Merlin had been absent for a few hours. Arthur didn't know him very well and he had little experience with human behaviour but it seemed odd and he couldn't help that.

“Kilgharrah,” Arthur said, shaking the sleeping dragon. “Kilgharrah, wake up. Merlin hasn't come back yet. I'm worried.”

The dragon opened one eye. “Calm down,” he murmured. “Give him some time. Perhaps, he needs some time for himself.”

“But what if something bad has happened to him?” the prince asked worryingly. “I would never forgive myself if Merlin got hurt.”

“You're forgetting something,” Kilgharrah replied. “Merlin is not defenceless. He's got magic. He'll be fine.”

Arthur sighed and gave up. Kilgharrah was probably right. There was no need to worry. Merlin was not a child. He could take care of himself.

Then the prince smiled to himself. It was true. Merlin was not a child. He deserved to be treated as an adult. He deserved to know the truth. Arthur finally made up his mind. He was not sure where it was going to lead him but it was final. He was going to tell Merlin about his curse.

The sun was rising in the east, when Arthur couldn't bear the tension any more. He got up and decided to find Merlin. They didn't have much time left and he wasn't sure if he was brave enough to tell Merlin the truth straightforwardly.

However, Merlin was nowhere to be found. Arthur started getting more and more worried when after half an hour he saw a familiar silhouette on the horizon. Arthur was so happy that he immediately rushed towards him. He was ready to tell the truth. Merlin needed to know it.

“Merlin, we need to talk,” he said, smiling at his friend. “It's important.”

Merlin, however, didn't smile back. He looked tired and angry. Arthur did not understand that.

“Merlin?” the prince asked, his voice filled with worry. “Has something happened? Are you all right?”

“I'm perfectly fine,” Merlin barked at him. “Why are you so concerned anyway?”

“What? I don't understand...” Arthur was utterly confused. Something was very wrong with Merlin and it hurt him deeply. “I just need to tell you something.”

“And I don't want to hear it. _Again_ ,” Merlin hissed.

“Again?” asked Arthur. “How can you know what...?”

“I heard you last night,” said Merlin, looking Arthur in the eyes. “I heard enough. Spare your tongue.”

“You h-heard me?” the prince asked in a trembling voice. “So you know?”

“Oh, yes. I know,” said Merlin bitterly. “How did you put it? Oh, yes... _who would like to spend his time with a monster_?”

“I hoped it wouldn't matter to you,” said Arthur shyly.

“You did?” Merlin snickered. “Surprise, surprise... it _does_ matter to _me_.”

Arthur was devastated. He didn't know what to do or say. He had thought about many scenarios but in none of them Merlin was so cynical.

“So that's it?” Arthur finally managed to say something.

Merlin looked at him coldly. “That's it,” he confirmed. There was nothing warm or kind in his voice. That tone did not belong to the Merlin he knew and grew fond of. Merlin was a completely different person at the moment. He was colder and much more bitter than ever before.

“I thought you were different,” said Arthur.

“That's funny. I thought you were different too,” replied Merlin and looked towards the castle. “Here they are.”

“What?” asked Arthur and looked in the same direction. He saw a few horses trotting towards them.

“Your future,” said Merlin coldly.

Arthur didn't know what to do. Their journey was over. His friendship with Merlin was an illusion. He finally understood that. All he had was the future with Lady Morgana. There was no other possibilities. His dreams were silly but it was always good to have them. Now he had only tough reality. His life was planned for him. End of story.

When the horses came closer, he noticed two beautiful women surrounded by a small group of knights. One of the women had curly blond hair and was slightly older. The other woman had long dark hair that beautifully contrasted her pale complexion. Arthur couldn't help thinking that she looked as Merlin's sister or even his female version. However, there was something nonchalant in her green eyes. Merlin, despite his coldness and bitterness, had never had such a look on his face.

“You must be prince Arthur, the son of Uther Pendragon,” said the dark haired woman when her horse stopped in front of him.

“Yes, my lady, I'm Arthur Pendragon,” he confirmed. “You must be Lady Morgana.”

“Indeed, I am,” she said. “And this is my sister Morgause.”

“I'm glad I can finally meet you, Lady Morgana and Lady Morgause,” said Arthur. His words were empty and artificial. They meant absolutely nothing. He was speaking as a royal, not as Arthur.

“As are we,” said Morgana.

Morgause remained silent this whole time. It was not her place to talk. She was an observer. She didn't need words to play her role.

“I hope my intentions are clear, prince Arthur,” Morgana continued. “I've been looking for a perfect husband with whom I would rule this land and share the burden of life. Then I heard of you and I thought that our union would bring prosperity to the people of this land. Do you agree with me, prince Arthur?”

“Indeed, I do, my lady,” Arthur answered.

Morgana smiled slightly but there was nothing warm in her smile. It looked nothing like Merlin's beautiful smile. Arthur sighed inwardly. He needed to take a grip of himself. Merlin was not meant for him. He had never been. Morgana was Arthur's future and he needed to focus on her.

“Then we shall get married as soon as possible,” said Morgana. “What do you think about tomorrow?”

“That's an interesting proposition but what about today?” asked Arthur.

Merlin kept himself at small distance but he could hear it all and it pained him. He had heard Arthur the previous night. He knew what the prince thought of him. The word _monster_ explained it all. However, hearing that Arthur wanted to marry Morgana so soon made him feel even worse.

“Today? We don't have much time but it's an excellent idea. The sooner the better. It's good both for the land and for us,” she said. “It's agreed then. We should hurry. There's so much to be done before the evening. People must be informed. Our wedding must be prepared. Everything must be perfect.”

“I'm sure it will be,” Arthur assured her.

“Then there's no time to waste. I have a horse for you.” Morgana clapped her hands and the animal was brought towards Arthur.

“It's a fine horse,” said the prince.

“My future husband deserves the best of horses,” Morgana told him. “I don't want to hurry you but we should move immediately if we want to get married today.”

“Just give me one moment, my lady,” Arthur asked her.

“Of course, prince Arthur, but what for?” The woman arched her right eyebrow in a question.

“I wanted to say goodbye,” he said quietly.

Merlin's heart skipped a beat. He wanted to turn back and run towards Arthur. He wanted to hug him and tell him to stay. He wanted to do a lot of things. However, it didn't last long. He remembered _who would like to spend his time with a monster_? And it hurt him deeply.

“That's very sweet of you,” said Morgana, “but the boy is not worth it. Take a look at him. He has not feelings. I wonder if he's human at all.”

Arthur looked back and saw Merlin's back. The warlock didn't even want to look at him. For Merlin, Arthur was a monster. “You're absolutely right, my lady. He's got no feelings. He's not worth it,” the prince said bitterly.

Merlin didn't care what Morgana thought of him. However, Arthur's words hurt him deeper than anything he had ever heard. He had a final confirmation. He meant nothing to Arthur and nothing they shared was real.

Merlin rushed towards the trees and never looked back. He didn't want Arthur to see his tears. He wasn't going to give the prince such satisfaction.

It was a mistake. If Merlin looked at Arthur, he would have noticed his longing look. Then, perhaps, everything would have changed.

Merlin lost track of time. He didn't know how much time it took him to come back to his hut. It didn't matter. When he finally closed the door behind himself, he realised that he didn't meet any magical creature on his way back. At least Morgana kept her promise. He had his old life back.

Merlin, however, couldn't enjoy it any more.

He was all alone and for the first time in his life he felt its burden. 


	11. All by himself

**Chapter 11**

“ **All by himself”**

 

Last few days seemed like a dream. Merlin knew that they were real but he could not believe that Arthur truly existed or that he was about to get married. It all seemed bizarre, yet painful.

Merlin knew that he shouldn't have let himself feel anything. Feelings were complicated and they always made him suffer. He had learnt that lesson many years before, yet he indulged himself in love and friendship once again. He would never make the same mistake ever again. He was sure of that. He would never trust anyone as it seemed that no one was worth the effort.

It was noon, the middle of the day, but Merlin was exhausted. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. It was an easy thing to do. He loved that sweet oblivion where everything seemed better. Merlin could dream about Arthur without the feeling of overwhelming pain. In a dream, he did not remember Arthur's bitter words. His dream-Arthur was smiling at him and laughing at his babbling. The dream-Arthur brought him comfort that he sought.

However, when Merlin was waken up, he felt an ache in his heart once again. Nonetheless, he could not focus on his pain completely, as he spotted an intruder. It was Kilgharrah.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin asked him harshly.

“I'm trying to help you. I thought that it was fairly obvious,” said the dragon.

“I don't need your help. I don't need any help at all,” Merlin told him.

“I think you do,” Kilgharrah said stubbornly. “I believe that you fell prey to a misunderstanding.”

“Nonsense,” said Merlin bitterly. “I heard you two last night. I know exactly what Arthur thinks of me. Maybe he's right. Maybe I am a monster.”

“That's exactly what I'm talking about. It's a misunderstanding!”

Merlin had never seen Kilgharrah in such a state. The dragon was equally excited and irritated. It was an interesting mix.

“But Arthur called me a monster,” said Merlin. “I heard that.”

“No, he didn't,” the dragon replied. “He would never call you a monster. He cares for you too much.”

“I know what I heard. Last night Arthur asked you _who would like to spend his time with a monster_ ,” said Merlin stubbornly.

“That's true but...”

“You see!” Merlin did not let him finish. “He said that. End of story. It was not meant to be.”

Kilgharrah had enough and roared as loud as he could. For the first time during their acquaintance, Merlin was slightly afraid of the dragon. He could not believe that the creature could make such an effect on anybody.

“Listen to me, Merlin,” Kilgharrah said a bit angrily. “You are a stupid, stubborn and miserable man. Stop pitying yourself. You make yourself a martyr and you're not.”

“That's who I am,” Merlin barked. “If you don't like it, you can leave. I'm certainly not going to stop you.”

“Do you even listen to me?” the dragon asked him angrily. “It doesn't matter who you are. That's not the point. You've made a mistake earlier today and I want you to resolve it.”

“And I want you to leave me alone,” Merlin murmured.

“I won't do that,” said Kilgharrah.

“But why? Why do you even care?” It was a desperate question but Merlin felt desperate at the moment.

“Because you're my friend and I believe in you and your destiny,” the dragon explained as calmly as he could.

“I don't have friends, Kilgharrah,” said Merlin bitterly, “and I don't believe in destiny. I told you that before.”

“Do you believe in Arthur, then?” Kilgharrah asked him.

“I thought I could believe in him but I was wrong. I believe in no one. That's easier,” he admitted.

“You are wrong about Arthur. Please, let me explain,” said the dragon. Merlin did not reply so Kilgharrah thought that he could continue. “Arthur did not call you a monster. He used that word but he was speaking of someone else.”

Merlin looked into his eyes. “How could he speak of someone else. He knows no one,” he said weakly.

“Yet it's true,” Kilgharrah assured him.

“It does not make sense. Who's the monster?” Merlin couldn't help asking.

“You don't understand it, do you?”

“What should I understand?” asked Merlin.

“Arthur called _himself_ a monster and he didn't want _you_ to spend _your_ time with a monster,” Kilgharrah finally explained.

“What?” That was all that Merlin could utter. It did not make any sense.

“It sounds crazy, I know, but Arthur cares for you. He cares for you more than you can imagine. He was considering leaving his royal life behind and travelling with you. However, he felt insecure about himself. He feared you wouldn't accept him.”

“But I accepted him the way he was,” said Merlin. “I thought it was clear.”

“You don't know everything, though. Arthur was afraid that you wouldn't accept his most guarded secret. Something that he called a curse,” Kilgharrah explained.

“What is it?” Merlin demanded to know. He was certain that nothing could change his feelings but he was curious.

“It's not my place to tell you,” said the dragon.

“Kilgharrah,” Merlin said firmly. “Tell me.”

“I can't. Arthur is the only one who can explain it. All you need to know is that it was a stupid misunderstanding and that he cares for you.”

Merlin's eyes filled with hope for one short moment. Then hope was replaced with sadness. “Not any more,” said Merlin. “Not after what I told him.”

“It was a misunderstanding. You can explain it to him. He'll understand,” Kilgharrah assured him.

Merlin shook his head. “I don't deserve it,” he muttered. “I won't do this.”

“You cannot give up like that! You cannot give up on you two!” the dragon tried to convince him.

The warlock smiled sadly. “That's the way it has to be,” he said quietly. “Whatever it was... it was not meant to be.”

Kilgharrah could not believe it. He did everything in his power to find Merlin. They still had a chance to stop Arthur's wedding. It was still possible. Merlin, however, gave up already. The young man had no will to fight.

“You can't say that,” the dragon tried to convince him. “You should at least try to do something. Arthur deserves to know that it was a misunderstanding. You should let him make that decision.”

“He's made up his mind already,” replied Merlin. “He chose a royal life with Lady Morgana. If destiny truly does exist as you keep telling me, then he's meant to marry her. He'd enjoy our journeys. We would have fun but after a year or two he would realise that he should lead a different life. Now I know that. It's better that it ended in this way.”

“You don't really mean that, Merlin,” said Kilgharrah.

“You're wrong. That's exactly what I mean,” said Merlin sadly. “I'm not telling you that it makes me happy because it doesn't. I'm not happy at all but I'm letting him go for his own good.”

“I'm glad to hear that you're worried about his well-being but you're making a mistake. Leaving him with Morgana won't make him happy. He needs a good friend that would stand by his side day by day. Morgana won't give him that. She's a cold and heartless woman.” Kilgharrah tried to do what he could to convince Merlin but the warlock remained stubborn.

“He chose that life,” Merlin repeated. “End of story.”

“So that's it?” the dragon asked.

“That's it,” Merlin confirmed sadly.

Kilgharrah was disappointed and he didn't even try to hide it. That story was meant to end in a completely different way. That was a terrible ending.

“You know that you're not going to meet him ever again?” the dragon finally asked him. “There'll be no coming back.”

Merlin took a deep breath before answering that question. “It pains me to think that I won't see him again. I know that I'll miss him and that I'll want to come back to that moment to make a different decision. Nonetheless, I won't change my mind. I cannot do that. It's final.”

Kilgharrah knew that Merlin meant all the things he said. It was written all over his face. The dragon did not like it but he had to learn to accept it. “All right then. I hope you won't regret it,” he said sadly.

“I will regret it, Kilgharrah,” Merlin replied. “I'll regret it more than you can imagine. I only hope that one day I'll be able to think about Arthur without an ache in my heart.”

“Then I wish you that,” said the dragon. “You deserve it. You deserve so much more.”

“Thank you,” said Merlin quietly.

“I have one last question before I leave.” Kilgharrah looked at Merlin hopefully.

“What is it?” the warlock asked.

“Can I pay you a visit once in a while?”

Merlin smiled lightly, even though his heart was aching. “You are a majestic creature, Kilgharrah. If you ever feel like paying me a visit, I'd be honoured.”

The dragon smiled back at him. “You've changed, Merlin,” he said. “These last few days have changed you so much.”

“I know that,” said Merlin quietly.

“Goodbye, Merlin.”

“Goodbye, Kilgharrah.”

They looked at each other for a few moments and then the dragon left him in silence.

Merlin was all by himself. At that moment he believed that he was going to be alone until the end of his life.

oOoOo

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. The King and the Queen,” the priest announced. He looked at Arthur and added, “You may kiss your bride.”

Arthur was present there physically but his mind and heart were elsewhere. He did what the people around him expected him to do. The priest told him to kiss Morgana and he did. It was awkward and it didn't feel right at all. He tried really hard to enjoy the kiss but he couldn't. He was crying inside. He was miserable. The idea that he would have to make love to that woman in a couple of hours made him feel sick. He felt nothing to her. Neither was he attracted to her, nor he knew her. Lady Morgana was a beautiful woman but Arthur could not appreciate that. She seemed cold and distant. She both resembled Merlin and was so not like him. Arthur was not sure what was worse.

When he clung to her a few hours later in their bedchamber, he closed his eyes as soon as she couldn't notice. He tried very hard to imagine that it was someone else and he hated himself for doing that. He pretended that he didn't feel the warmth of her breasts and the roundness of her hips. These body parts were so not like Merlin's. Her scent and long hair were also wrong. The truth was that everything was wrong.

Merlin hurt him deeply earlier that day. He crushed his heart into pieces and walked away. Arthur wanted to hate him but he couldn't. His stupid heart longed for him and for the promise of their future adventures. None of his dreams was going to come true.

He was lying in his new bed with a sleeping Morgana by his side. He could not fall asleep. He felt disgusted with himself. He had a beautiful newly wed wife in his bed, yet all he could think about was a lanky man who despised him.

Arthur cursed the day he was born. He cursed the day he met Merlin. Most of all, however, he cursed his own existence. He was a lonely man. His wife and his people were not going to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been over a month. I'm sorry. And I can't promise you another chapter until the middle of May. I need to write the first chapter of my MA thesis by the 12th of May and all that I have is a draft of introduction and plan.
> 
> I need to ask you for patience. I'm so sorry!


	12. Friendly suggestions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for such a long delay. I'll do my best to update this story once a week or at least once a fortnight.
> 
> Now enjoy!

**Chapter 12**

**“Friendly suggestions”**

Two months went by in a blink of an eye. However, Merlin couldn’t care less. All his days looked the same. They were boring and pointless, just like his whole life. Merlin sometimes wondered if living was worth the effort. There was nothing exciting or meaningful in his life. He was as well as dead. The worst part, however, was that he didn’t expect any changes. Merlin was certain that it was all that he could get from his life. He thought about death quite a lot but suicidal thoughts rarely crossed his mind. A suicide required an effort and drama. Merlin was too passive and resigned to commit it.

Kilgharrah had paid him a visit a few times but even though deep down Merlin grew to like the dragon, these visits didn’t cheer him up. Kilgharrah always brought him some news from the kingdom but Merlin didn’t pay them much attention unless they concerned King Arthur.

“How are you feeling, Merlin?” the dragon asked him.

“What did I tell you about knocking?” asked Merlin, instead of answering the question. “You can’t just come into people’s houses. That’s rude.”

“You’re rude too. I think it’s fair to be rude in return,” replied Kilgharrah.

Merlin rolled his eyes and took a deep breath to calm down. “What are you doing here, anyway?” he asked. “I didn’t expect to see you soon. You’ve been here a few days ago.”

“I’ve been here a week and a half ago, Merlin. You should really try to keep the track of time. You may find it useful,” the dragon suggested.

“I highly doubt that. Time is irrelevant to me,” Merlin replied.

“So you don’t remember how much time has passed away since Arthur?” Kilgharrah asked.

Merlin gave him an angry look as a reply.

“You _do_ remember then,” the dragon said.

“Can you stop talking about it?” Merlin asked him. “I’m trying to forget and it’s not helping.”

“Oh, Merlin… I wish I could let it go but I thought that you would like to hear the news,” said Kilgharrah.

“What news?” the young man asked worryingly. “Is he sick? Is he… dying?”

“Calm down, Merlin. Arthur is fine. At least physically,” the dragon told him. “I’m worried more about the condition of the land and Arthur’s influence on the situation.”

“I’m not interested in politics,” said Merlin. “The only thing I care about is Arthur’s well-being.”

“But these two things are intertwined,” the dragon said a bit impatiently.

“What’s intertwined, Kilgharrah? You don’t make any sense.”

The dragon sighed. “It’s hard to talk to you sometimes,” he said. “Arthur’s well-being and the condition of the country are combined. Arthur’s the king! At least he should be…”

Merlin frowned. “What do you mean? Arthur _is_ the king. That was the whole point of our adventure.”

“He’s got the title. That’s a fact,” said Kilgharrah. “Nonetheless he’s not the ruler. Morgana and her sister are in charge. They keep Arthur away from the important matters.”

“Doesn’t he protest?” Merlin asked. “After all Morgana wouldn’t become the Queen without his title. He should demand respect.”

“I don’t know any details. They keep these matters to themselves. The people are gossiping about it but nothing is certain. I don’t know what Arthur thinks and how he feels about it. He must have been confused at first. You know… after all these years of isolation in the tower. Besides, he must have felt down after losing your friendship…”

“Don’t say that,” said Merlin.

“But that’s the truth,” the dragon said stubbornly. “You’re not the only one who has suffered, Merlin. Arthur valued your friendship more than you can imagine.”

“It doesn’t matter now,” Merlin told him firmly. “Why are you telling me this? I can’t do anything. I have no influence on Morgana. Perhaps that’s what Arthur wants. Perhaps it’s for the better.”

“You can’t possibly believe that,” said Kilgharrah. “This kingdom needs a good and just leader. Morgana is not that kind of person. Of all things that exist, she’s most interested in power. She rules to keep that power. She doesn’t really care about the people.”

“Neither do I,” said Merlin bitterly.

“You care about Arthur. That should be enough.”

Merlin suddenly felt very tired. “What do you expect, Kilgharrah? You want me to declare war with Morgana? You want me to fight?”

“Of course not,” said the dragon. “But you’re the only one who can influence Arthur and he is the only one who can change that.”

“You overestimate me, Kilgharrah. I wield no such power,” said Merlin quietly.

“You lack confidence, Merlin. That’s your greatest problem,” said the dragon regretfully.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you,” Merlin told him bitterly. “That’s who I am. You should’ve already known that.”

“I wish I could help you,” said Kilgharrah. “It would make things much easier.”

“No one can help me.” Merlin tried to smile but he failed. “I appreciate your care but your efforts are hopeless. Arthur is there and I’m here. That’s the way it has to be. Our worlds collided for one short moment in time but now that moment is over. I cannot influence Arthur. That’s not my thing to do.”

The dragon watched him for a while, trying to decide what to say. There was so many things that he wanted Merlin to know but it was not the time for them. Merlin didn’t want to listen to the reason. “You don’t know what’s meant for you,” said Kilgharrah finally. “You don’t know many things before they come and yet they happen to you. I hope that one day you will understand that you’re worth more than you believe right now.”

“Your words sound wise and beautiful but they are just words. They’re empty. I know you want best for me, Arthur and this kingdom. I know you believe in destiny and happy endings. However, these things do not concern me. I want Arthur to be happy. I want this kingdom to prosper. I’m not an antagonist that is about to destroy it all. I’m not the magical key that solves all the problems. I’m Merlin. Just Merlin”

Kilgharrah did not know how to convince him. No words would work. Words meant nothing to Merlin. For that reason the dragon left his hut in silence.

Merlin wanted to drown in that silence. It was the last thing that was truly familiar to him.

oOoOo

Morgana opened the door to her and Arthur’s bedchambers. As she expected, she found her husband sitting at the desk.

“How was your day, my husband?” she asked, coming closer to him.

“It was lovely,” said Arthur passionlessly. “It looked like the previous day… and the day before…”

“You make it sound boring,” Morgana noticed. “Are you bored?”

“It’s nothing like that,” Arthur denied. “Training sessions with your knights are very instructive. I’m happy to learn all of these things that I should have already known.”

“Then what’s the problem?” asked Morgana, trying to sound as if she cared.

“How am I supposed to become their leader if they see me as a mere recruit. A student! They are my teachers, Morgana! They will not respect me in the future. Not in the way they should respect their king,” said Arthur sadly.

Morgana smirked but Arthur didn't notice. That was exactly what she wanted all along. She needed Arthur to legally gain the title of the Queen. However, she did not really intend to share her power with a man. Morgause was different. She was her sister and her kin. They could secretly rule together as their intentions were alike. Arthur was a confused stranger. It was easy to manipulate him. However, Morgana was not stupid. She knew that one day he would get wiser and more confident. She knew that one day he would like to take her place as a true leader and ruler. Therefore she had to undermine his confidence and question his abilities. In this way he would always remain a lost puppy.

Arthur had a pretty face and fine body. Morgana enjoyed his company as a lover and her little toy. She didn’t plan to get rid of him. That would be pointless. That would give some people the reason to question her position. Keeping Arthur at her side and controlling him was much wiser. She had discussed it with her sister and Morgause agreed with her. Besides, Morgause promised her to keep an eye on Arthur. With her help, Arthur would never get out of their control.

“You will gain their ultimate respect,” Morgana told him softly. “They know that you have to learn. They are happy to teach you.”

“They told you that?” asked Arthur. “I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable.”

Morgana laughed lightly. “Oh, my dear Arthur. You are so sweet when you worry about others. You are my husband. You are their king. You don’t have to worry about making your people uncomfortable.”

Arthur felt a sudden heat in his cheeks. He embarrassed himself in front of his new wife.

“It will get better in time,” Morgana assured him. “They will get to know you and they’ll see what I see.”

“And what do you see?” he dared to ask.

Morgana used one of her charming smiles. “This is a secret that I won’t share with you,” she said.

“You’re my wife. You should tell me everything,” Arthur protested.

“I’m not going to spoil you,” Morgana said dismissively. “Don’t even ask.”

“Fine,” Arthur agreed but he was not happy about. Morgana was still a person that he could not understand. He wasn’t even sure if he enjoyed her company very much. Morgana was a very private person even in their bedchambers. She didn’t share her worries with him. They didn’t talk much about their kingdom and their people. At first Arthur was glad that Morgana gave him time to adapt. However, after a few weeks, it had become a bit annoying.

“Don’t be sad,” Morgana told him, kissing him softly.

That kiss meant nothing to Arthur. Literally, he didn’t feel anything at all. It was just like another duty. He knew that husband and wife kissed so he did that. However, he did not find the task enjoyable or exciting. To some extent, it resembled his training sessions with the knights.

“You need a hobby, Arthur,” said Morgana suddenly. “What do you think?”

Arthur shrugged dismissively.

“Don’t do that,” Morgana told him. “I’m sure that you want to keep your mind occupied. You should do something thrilling! It would make you feel much better. I can see that you’d love an adventure.”

“I’m the king, Morgana. My place is here in the castle with you,” Arthur reminded her.

“I’m not saying that you have to leave your kingdom,” Morgana assured him. “The castle, however, should be fine without you for a day or two. Don’t worry, I won’t start a war during your absence.”

“Are you bored with me already?” asked Arthur only half-jokingly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just worried about you. That’s all.” Morgana kissed his forehead.

“What should I do, then? Where should I go?” Arthur asked her.

“A hunting trip or a patrol. Just you and couple of knights,” she said, smiling. “You would do what men do when they’re not in the presence of women. Dirty jokes, scary stories… whatever you want. Besides, such expeditions create and strengthen the bond between you and your people. That’s perfect, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps,” said Arthur quietly. Deep inside he started to enjoy the idea. Such a trip with his men would be highly beneficial. “I’ll think about it. I promise.”

“I know you will,” said Morgana. She looked at their bed and smirked. “I think it’s time for us to go to bed.”

“I agree. It’s quite late,” said Arthur.

“That’s not what I meant. This is,” said Morgana and kissed him firmly.

Arthur knew very well what she meant. However, he wasn’t in a mood to initiate intimacy. To be honest, he was never in such mood. Nonetheless, he did what was expected of him. He was Morgana’s husband and she required attention.

In such moments, he could not help thinking about Merlin and it hurt him very much.


	13. Old stories before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so ashamed for such a long delay. I am so sorry!

**Chapter 13**

" **Old stories before the storm"**

Arthur took Sir Mordred and Sir Tristan for his first patrol in life. These two knights agreed to his proposal immediately and they seemed to enjoy the idea. Arthur was not sure why they liked it but he was relieved. He did not want to make any of his men to spend their free time with him if they did not want it. He intended to get to know his knights but he didn't want to do it by force. That would not give his people a good impression. He still remembered Morgana's words about not caring about his people's opinions but Arthur could not be such a ruler. He was not tough enough.

At first, Arthur felt a bit awkward as he didn't know these men very well. However, after a couple of hours he was talking with them as an old friend. Obviously, Arthur could not share his concerns and secrets with them. The knights could not be aware of any of these things. They talked about weapons, tactics and the land. Arthur didn't want to admit that but he learnt from them more about his kingdom than from Morgana. It was disturbing but Arthur decided not to worry about it until his return. He didn't want to ruin a friendly atmosphere by his mood. Besides, it must have meant nothing. At least Arthur tried to convince himself that it was the truth.

"We're getting close to the border," Mordred announced suddenly.

"Is it Lord Cendred's land?" asked Arthur.

"It is, my lord," Mordred confirmed.

"Could you tell me something about him? I've met him during my journey to this kingdom and, to be honest, I despised this man from the first second he started talking," Arthur told them.

"It hardly surprises me," said Tristan. "Cendred is not a likeable man. He is greedy, dishonest and dishonourable."

"Is it a well-known opinion of him?" asked Arthur curiously.

"It certainly is," Tristan confirmed.

"He mentioned that he is Lady Morgana's good ally. Was he lying?" Arthur could not just drop this subject. Something seemed wrong and he intended to find out what it was.

"He wasn't, my lord," Mordred spoke out.

"Then I don't understand," said the king. "How can my wife be an ally with such a treacherous man? It's neither wise, nor moral."

"I assure you, my lord, that the situation is much more complex," Mordred replied immediately. "Cendred is a powerful man that can do much more than you can imagine. Besides, he'd been once very close with Lady Morgause."

"What do you mean by  _close_?" asked Arthur, intrigued.

"They grew up at the same court. People say that they were very close friends as children. Then, when they grew up, they seemed to act toward one another with some kind of affection. Everybody thought that they would get married," Mordred explained.

"What happened, then? They are not married, something must have happened," said Arthur.

"You are absolutely right, my lord," Mordred confirmed. "As you know, Morgana and Morgause are half-sisters. They are of the same mother. Her name was Vivian and she was highly born. She fell in love with a noble man who, however, was not very rich or influential. Nonetheless, Vivian married him. He was Morgause's father."

"I still don't see a connection between this story and Cendred," said Arthur.

"You will soon," Mordred assured him. "Morgause's father died when she was five years old. Vivian was still a very beautiful woman and soon a few noble men got interested in marrying her. This time she chose the best match for her and her daughter."

"This man was my wife's father, wasn't he?" asked Arthur.

"He was," the knight confirmed. "He was in a possession of a few castles and a lot of land. He was also a friend of Cendred's father who also died long before his time. Your wife's father decided to take care of a child and his mother and he even gave them one of his castles."

"That's very noble," said Arthur. "I wonder why Morgana never told me that story."

"I suppose she had her reasons. It would be great if the story came to an end at this point but it goes on and on until today," Mordred continued. "Morgana was her father's only child so she inherited everything with an exception of Cendred's castle and his piece of land. Your wife has become a very powerful and rich woman. Morgause, even though she was older and wiser, got almost nothing. The sisters have always been very close so Morgause stayed by your wife's side. The stability of her future was not a problem."

"But her affection to Cendred was," Arthur guessed.

"You are right, my lord," Mordred confirmed. "Titles and power meant for him more than Morgause. He wanted to marry up so he proposed to Morgana."

"Oh my God," said Arthur. "I can't believe that. How could he do such a thing? And… how did Morgana react?"

"She was furious, my lord. Cendred broke her dear sister's heart in a very cruel way," Tristan suddenly spoke up. "I've been there and I've seen it with my own eyes."

"When did it happen, then?" asked Arthur.

"Almost three years ago," Tristan answered. "At first, lady Morgana wanted to break an alliance. She said that she didn't want to see Cendred ever again. She even threatened to kill him if he dared to cross the border."

"Then how can they be allies right now?" Arthur wanted to know.

"Politics is more significant than personal aversion," Mordred explained. "After a few weeks, when the emotions subsided, the alliance has been restored."

"These two lands need one another," Tristan added. "Morgana and Morgause are no longer close friends of Cendred but they remained his allies. It's safer this way."

"I see," said Arthur, even though he could not comprehend how it could work. "I think I still need to learn a few things about this world. It's much more complex than I thought."

Arthur knew that it was not cautious to share his thoughts with these men. They were knights and he was supposed to be their leader. However, he couldn't help feeling comfortable around them. In some way they were almost his friends. In some way they were  _almost_ like Merlin.

The thought of his lost friend suddenly made him feel sadder. It did not escape the knights' attention.

"Is something wrong, my lord?" Morder asked him, clearly worried. "Did our story upset you?"

"No, it didn't," Arthur answered quickly. "I am just a bit tired. That's all. We've been riding for many hours."

"We'll look for the right place for our camp then," said Tristan.

"It's a good idea," said Arthur.

Suddenly a flash of light crossed the sky above their heads and a moment later they all heard a trembling thunder. They didn't notice that the sky was getting darker and darker until that moment."

"We don't have as much time as I thought," Tristan said to the other men. "Gentlemen, I think we should split to find the best shelter as soon as possible."

"All right," said Arthur. "Let's meet here in a quarter. I'll go east, you'll go west and Mordred will go north. We should find the safe place somewhere in the area."

"Yes, Sir," both knights said at the same time and they all rushed in the commanded directions.

Arthur Pendragon was not the best rider. He had learnt to ride a horse when he was still a child but he couldn't practice it much and he wasn't riding for the last few years at all. Arthur could manage to ride the horse when the animal was calm and relaxed. However, it was difficult to keep his horse calm when the storm was approaching. Apparently, his horse was very afraid of thunders, as it started to act abnormally.

At first, Arthur tried to calm the horse down but he did not know any tricks that would work. He started to regret that he and his knights split up. They were more experienced in horse riding and they certainly knew what to do in such situation. It would have been a bit humiliating to ask them for help in such trivial case but Arthur was desperate for a solution.  _Any_ solution.

Before Arthur could handle his horse, it started raining. Unfortunately, it was not a light rain but a downpour. There was nothing he could do at the moment. He lost the last bits of control that he had over the horse and he just clung to its back, feeling utterly hopeless. Arthur couldn't help thinking that it was the end. In his mind's eyes he saw himself falling off the horse and breaking his neck.

Arthur lost all his sense of direction. He had no idea where he was and in which direction his horse was going. He could not hope for Tristan and Mordred's help as he was aware that it was far too late.

Arthur wanted to survive. He truly did. He did not want to die without seeing Merlin again. He was hurt but a part of him still missed the warlock. A part of him tried to believe that it was not too late for their friendship.

Then he fell off his horse. The fall seemed to last and last forever. Arthur felt a strange kind of relief when he finally hit the ground.

Everything round him blurred.


	14. Miracles sometimes happen

Arthur had a very pleasant, yet a very weird dream. He couldn’t see anything but he could hear a familiar voice above himself. He recognised it as Merlin’s voice. _Perhaps I’m in heaven after all_ , Arthur thought. _I don’t deserve it, though_ , he reminded himself after a longer while. It was really difficult to think coherently at the moment. _I must be dreaming_ , he came to this conclusion before he lost his consciousness for a longer period of time.

When Arthur regained his consciousness, he was surrounded by a complete silence but he felt safe. It was an odd feeling but he quite liked it. He started wondering what happened. Then he remembered the storm and his accident. For a moment he thought that he was still lying on the ground, waiting for his knights to find him. After a while, however, he realised that the thing he was lying on was too comfortable to be ground or grass. It must have been a warm bed.

He had no idea how he got there. _Maybe my men have found me after all_ , he said to himself. It was possible but Arthur wanted to be certain. He tried to open his eyes but the eyelids were far too heavy and he was too tired to fight them. He decided to rest some more and try again later. After that decision he lost his consciousness once again.

Another flash of reality was much more painful. His chest was aching really badly. Arthur assumed that the pain was caused by his fall. Nonetheless, he had no idea why he hadn’t felt it before.

Moreover, he could feel the presence of someone else in the room. He wanted to give them a sign that he was conscious but his lips were as heavy as his eyelids. Arthur decided to change his tactic. He focused his whole will power on moving his fingers. It didn’t work at first but Arthur wasn’t going to give up easily. He tried harder and harder with every second until he finally succeeded. His fingers moved slightly but for Arthur it meant a lot. He felt as if he won a battle with his own body. It was his victory!

However, Arthur was not going to stop fighting with his own body. It was just the beginning. He needed to give whoever was taking care of him a sign that he was conscious. He wanted to communicate with that person to understand what happened to him and how he got there. Most of all, however, Arthur needed to find out if this person knew who he was. Being a king could be helpful but it could also put him in danger. He had to know what this person was about to do.

Arthur focused on his hand some more. It took him a while but he could finally move his fingers quite freely. He needed to get the person’s attention. It was essential at the moment.

After a minute, though it felt much longer, Arthur heard the person move towards him. Suddenly, a hand touched his fingers and squeezed them slightly. Then he felt another hand touching his forehead. This person was apparently checking his temperature.

Arthur tried to say something but all he could utter was as a low groan.

“Shhhhhhh,” the person tried to calm him. “Just sleep.”

This voice belonged to Merlin. Arthur was certain of that. He could recognise this voice everywhere. However, the question was, if Arthur just imagined it. Perhaps he wanted to have Merlin by his side so much that his mind created a convincing delusion.

“Mer… Mer…” Arthur managed to say. It was really difficult to utter the meaningful words. They seemed heavy on his tongue.

“Don’t say anything,” Merlin told him, still squeezing his hand. “You’re safe here. Just sleep.”

Arthur wanted to argue but he was too weak to do that. After a few minutes he drifted into oblivion once again.

oOoOo

Arthur woke up to the smell of cooked food. He was incredibly hungry but he still felt very weak. This time, however, he managed to open his eyes. He was surrounded by a dim light but it blinded him for a moment nonetheless. He had no idea how long he had spent in an absolute darkness, sleeping.

When his eyes finally got used to the light, he could finally look around. There were not many things to see, though. He was lying in a narrow bed in a tiny room. There was a small table next to the bed and a wardrobe opposite it. Apart from that he noticed an old oak chair which was standing next to the small window. The door was half-open but he was not able to peek into the other room.

Arthur was too weak to lift his head more than two inches. It made him frustrated but he decided not to whine. Babies were whining and he was a fully grown man _and_ a king. He was expected to act in a mature and distinguished way.

All he could do was listening to the noises someone was doing in the other room. He couldn’t help hoping that it was Merlin. After all he had heard him before. It could have been just his imagination but there was still hope that it was true.

Arthur cleared his throat which was very sore at the moment but he couldn’t make any proper sound. He was dehydrated and he needed to drink some water. However, he wasn’t capable of giving a sign that he was finally awake. He had no choice but wait.

Waiting was killing him. He wanted to know if his imagination was playing tricks on him or if Merlin was really this close. There were things that he wanted to ask the warlock. There were things that he wanted to tell him.

Arthur remembered their last conversation very well. It was painful and confusing. It made no sense at all. Merlin was so not like Merlin. The warlock was distant from the very beginning but in an entirely different way. The Merlin he talked to last time was angry and cold. Arthur wanted to share his most guarded secret with him and he thrust him aside like a piece of rubbish.

The king wondered what had happened back there but he could not understand it. He wondered if Merlin was still so cold and cruel. He still remembered Merlin saying _who would like to spend his time with a monster_? Merlin acknowledged Arthur’s fear of being an abomination. It hurt more than Arthur could express. It hurt more than his father’s words and the punishment of being imprisoned. Merlin was supposed to be everything that other people weren’t. Arthur was wrong to trust him.

His stupid heart, however, longed for the moment he could see Merlin again. Arthur hoped that it would come soon. He hoped that it was Merlin who found him and was taking care of him.

He felt a sudden wave of relief mixed with sadness when the door was open ajar and he saw a pale, dark-haired man with bright blue eyes. It was Merlin. _His_ Merlin.

“Arthur,” the warlock whispered, seeing the blond man awake. He looked surprised, as if he didn’t know who his guest was.

Arthur just stared at him. Merlin looked skinnier and paler than before. He looked like a ghost of a person he used to be.

After a while, Merlin shook off his surprise and came closer to the bed. “I thought you’d never wake up.”

Arthur kept staring at him. There were so many things that he wanted to say at this very moment. Some of them were bitter. Others were sweet and hopeful. It didn’t matter, though. Arthur was too weak and thirsty to say anything.

Suddenly, Merlin’s eyes shone in realisation. He went back to the other room quickly, leaving a confused Arthur behind. After a short moment, Merlin came back with a jug full of water and a simple chalice.

“You must be thirsty,” said Merlin, pouring the chalice with water and putting the jar on the table.

Arthur wanted to sit up but his muscles didn’t want to cooperate.

“Don’t move on your own, you’re still very weak,” said Merlin. He helped Arthur to lift his head and then poured water into his dry mouth.

Water had never tasted so good.

When Arthur drank three full chalices of water, he finally felt better. Merlin carefully helped him lay his head on a pillow and then sat down on the edge of the bed. He tried to avoid the eye contact with Arthur who was staring at him this whole time. Merlin did not know what to say but he knew that he had to say something. They could not just remain silent forever.

“I’m glad to see you awake,” Merlin finally spoke up. “You didn’t look well when I found you.”

“Ho… how?” Arthur managed to say.

“Save your voice,” Merlin told him immediately. “I’ll explain everything but you must rest.”

A part of Arthur wanted to protest. He was angry at the young man who was sitting next to him. He was angry for what Merlin had done and said before. However, another part of him, a stronger one, was curious and wanted to hear Merlin’s story. Besides, Arthur could save the argument for later. It didn’t look as if he was leaving this place any time soon.

“You’ve been here for two days,” Merlin said after a short moment of silence. “I found you two or three miles from here. It was raining heavily and you were lying unconscious in mud.” Merlin swallowed hard. “You must be wondering how I found you,” he added.

Arthur nodded lightly in response. There was a storm out there. It was not wise to just walk around the forest when the weather was so bad. Arthur was certain that Merlin knew the forest very well so he just couldn’t get lost.

“Do you remember the moment we talked about the possibility of you coming here to pay me a visit?” Merlin asked him.

Arthur nodded once again. He remembered it very well. It was a painful memory. For that short moment back then he had believed that their friendship could survive everything.

“Then you must remember that I put a spell on you which was supposed to show you the way to my home,” Merlin continued. “The truth is that the spell was more powerful than you knew. Even I didn’t know that it was that powerful. Unless...” Merlin looked into Arthur’s eyes probably for the first time this evening. “Did you call my name when before you lost your consciousness?” he asked.

Arthur started thinking very hard. He did not recall calling anyone. He was thinking about Merlin before his fall but that was all. He would never call for Merlin’s help as he knew what the man was thinking of him.

After a few seconds, very long seconds from Merlin’s perspective, Arthur shook his head.

Merlin looked down at his own hands, breaking the eye contact. “Then the spell was indeed more powerful than I thought. This spell was also meant to let me know if you called my name while you were lost. I received the signal so it must have been sent because you were in danger. I see no other explanation,” he admitted.

Arthur did not see any other explanation either so he decided to accept it. He just wondered what was going to happen now. He was too weak to travel back to the castle. Merlin informed him that he was unconscious for the last two days. His wife and his people probably did not know what happened to him.

He decided to ask Merlin about that. He took a deep breath and said in a very weak voice, “did you… inform… the castle?”

Merlin raised his gaze slowly. “I had no time to do that,” he said. “I did not want to leave your side in case your condition worsened.”

“So you… you care about the _monster_ ,” Arthur could not help saying. He knew that it was not a good idea to bring this subject at that moment. He was physically weak but Merlin was simply vulnerable. It was not fair to attack him straight away. However, the temptation was stronger than his good will.

Merlin’s eyes went wise. “I… I know what you think. I am so sorry, Arthur. It’s been a misunderstanding. You must believe me,” Merlin begged him.

“Misunderstanding?” asked Arthur, suddenly feeling much more powerful. “You admitted that I’m a monster.”

“No,” Merlin denied quickly. “I would never call you a monster. Never,” said Merlin weakly.

“But you called me that. You called me a monster before you gave me to Morgana,” said Arthur, forgetting that he should rest and save his strength and voice for later. “You’ve traded a monster for the right to this place.”

Merlin’s heart shattered to pieces once again. Arthur had it all wrong. Merlin needed to explain it to him. It was essential.

“I overheard your conversation with Kilgharrah,” he said.

“I know that,” Arthur remarked.

“You don’t know everything. I just heard some pieces of your conversation. I thought…” Merlin looked at him sadly. “I thought _you_ called _me_ a monster,” he finally uttered.

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat. “What?” he asked weakly. “I’d never… why did you…? Oh my god…”

“Exactly,” Merlin summed up, looking at him intently. “When Kilgharrah explained it to me, I was dejected. I could not believe that such misunderstanding ruined our… friendship.”

Arthur knew exactly what Merlin had been feeling. He was feeling this hopelessness and irony this very moment. “Why didn’t you try to tell me the truth?” he asked eventually. “You know where I live.”

Merlin swallowed hard. He did not expect such question after the months from that fatal day. “I think I was ashamed,” he admitted.

“Ashamed of what?” Arthur asked him.

“I was ashamed of my decision. I should have talked to you right after what I heard. I should have hidden my pride but I couldn’t.” Merlin sighed. “You should know that I’m not very self-assured. It was easy to believe that someone mocked and despised me. I’ve had to deal with such people for years.”

Arthur was silent for a few moments. He knew that he couldn’t blame Merlin entirely. All the things that had happened were partially his fault too.

“I gave up on your friendship easily,” he admitted shyly. “Perhaps if I had insisted…”

“You wouldn’t have changed anything, Arthur,” Merlin said quickly. “Not back then. I was too stubborn and too proud.”

“So were I,” said Arthur sadly.

They both sighed inwardly. The weight of the loss hit them all at once.

“You know,” Arthur said suddenly, “I’ve been wondering what would have happened if I had never got to Morgana’s castle.”

“Any conclusions?” asked Merlin.

“It’d be nice to travel and have adventures. It’d be nice to have a good friend by my side,” said Arthur dreamily.

Merlin smiled sadly. “So your dreams haven’t changed,” he said. “It’d be great to live such a careless life like the Merry Men.”

“I could have joined them,” said Arthur.

“You wouldn’t have stood Gwaine for a longer period of time,” Merlin noticed.

“You’re probably right,” Arthur agreed with him. “I would have my own group. I think that your company would be enough for a start.”

This time Merlin’s heart skipped a beat. He needed to calm down because Arthur’s words didn’t really mean anything. They couldn’t change the past. There was a short moment in which Arthur could have taken another path but it was long over. He had chosen a royal life and he had to live with that.

“You’re a king now,” said Merlin. “That’s not so bad.”

“It’s not as good as you think,” Arthur noticed. “I don’t really see myself as a king material. Morgana is an experienced ruler. She always knows what to do. I… I try to be a friend of my people.”

“Is that so bad?” Merlin asked him.

“They won’t respect me if I don’t be a strong and confident king. I need to protect them. To do that, other kingdoms have to see that I’m not weak.”

“Your friends make you stronger not weaker,” Merlin told him. “Don’t be a tough ruler and your people will love and respect you.”

“The truth is… the truth is that I don’t need so many friends. One true friend would be enough,” he said shyly.

Merlin smiled at him. “You’ll always have a friend in me,” he said. “Am I enough?”

“I think you are,” Arthur replied.

They talked a little more before Merlin brought Arthur dinner. It was just some bread and soup but Arthur devoured it with his friend’s help.

“You look much healthier now,” Merlin told him.

“You want me to go?” asked Arthur, only half-teasingly.

“Don’t be stupid,” Merlin berated him. “You’re not _that_ healthy.” He sighed. “Probably I should inform your wife and the court that you’re safe here.”

“You probably should,” replied Arthur but it didn’t sound as if he liked that idea. “It’s late, though. It could wait until tomorrow. They’ve been waiting so long for information about me. They can wait a little longer.”

Merlin tried to hide his wide smile but it was pointless. It was obvious to him that Arthur would have been taken away from him if he had informed the court where the king was. Merlin just got his friend back and he didn’t want to say goodbye to him so soon. He knew that it was a selfish act but he decided to be this little bit selfish. Besides, Arthur suggested the postponement himself. It seemed fair to listen to him this one time.

“Good,” said Merlin. “I would like to escort you home myself when you feel better. I don’t want a bunch of knights here.”

“Then it’s decided,” said Arthur. “You will walk me home when I regain my strength. However, I would like to send a message to my wife tomorrow morning. I want to inform her that I’m alive and that I’ll come back to the castle as soon as possible. I won’t mention that I’m here so you shouldn’t worry about the knights.”

“All right,” Merlin agreed. “We’ll send a pigeon tomorrow. Now, however, you should rest.”

Merlin was about to stand up and leave the room but Arthur stopped him.

“Stay with me until I fall asleep,” the king said timidly. “Your presence soothes me.”

Merlin was taken aback by his words. He blushed and took a sit at the edge of the bed. Arthur smiled at him and closed his eyes. In a few minutes his breath levelled as he fell asleep. Merlin had to defy the urge to stay there and watch him all night. It wouldn’t be good for him and his conflicted feelings.


	15. Hope in every moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that it's been a year since I published the first chapter of this story. It was supposed to have 5-10 chapters but here we are with the 15th chapter and the story is not over yet. I will try to finish it soon as there are other stories I would like to write. I still have a few chapters to write but I will do my best to write and update regularly.  
> Enjoy!

Arthur felt and looked much better in the morning. He could sit up without any problem and stand up with Merlin’s help. However, it was still too soon for his journey back to the castle. Arthur needed to regain all his strength as he had no horse to carry him.

Merlin brought him a piece of paper and a feather so he could write a note to his wife. It took Arthur a while to decide what this letter should contain. He didn’t want to worry anyone but he also didn’t want to reveal too many details. It was not easy to put in short words the right information.

Finally, he made up his mind and wrote it down shorty.

_To Morgana Pendragon_

_My dear wife,_

_I want to soothe your nerves and inform you that my life is not in danger. I cannot tell you where I am this very moment but you need to know that I’m safe. My health does not allow me to come back to you yet. Don’t worry as I am on the mend. I will see in a few days and then you’ll learn of what happened to me. It’s not wise to put all information in one letter._

_Your husband,_

_Arthur Pendragon_

Arthur was glad of what he’d just written.

“You can attach it to your pigeon,” he said to Merlin. “I hope it will give me some time to recover in peace.”

Merlin took the letter from Arthur but did not read it despite a strong urge to do that. He whistled and an ordinary looking pigeon flew through an open window. The bird was so obedient that Arthur started to wonder if Merlin used some magic on it. However, he kept his doubts to himself as he didn’t want to make Merlin feel uncomfortable. Theoretically, everything was fine between them. Nonetheless, Arthur decided to be extra careful. He was not going to let another stupid misunderstanding destroy what they had.

“What are you thinking about?” Merlin asked him after releasing the pigeon.

“Nothing special,” Arthur lied innocently.

“Let’s assume I believe you,” said Merlin, smiling. “What would you like to eat for dinner? I certainly don’t have such a variety of food that you have in the castle but I will do my best.”

“I don’t like all that fancy food they serve in the castle,” Arthur told him. “I would rather eat the stew that you cooked during our journey. I mean the stew I called delicious.”

“I know which one,” said Merlin. “I served it the last evening of our journey. It’s hard to forget that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bring that subject again,” Arthur said apologetically.

“That’s fine.” Merlin smiled at him. “We should not avoid that subject. We should talk about it openly. That’s what friends should do.”

“You’re probably right,” said Arthur, “but it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.”

“I know the feeling but we need to do this.” Merlin looked into his eyes intently. “We’ll feel better afterwards.”

Merlin was right. The conversation they had after the dinner was liberating. They talked for hours, trying to share with the other as much as they felt was appropriate. Obviously, none of them mentioned the true nature of their feelings. Arthur wanted to tell Merlin about his curse but could not utter the right words. He wasn’t brave enough.

There was one thing that they managed to establish. They wanted to carry on their friendship and in order to do that they had to meet regularly. However, Merlin could not go to the castle. They agreed that Morgana would not be content with their friendship. Therefore, it was Arthur who was supposed to visit Merlin. He was a king but he could leave the castle for a patrol or something like that. Both of them hoped that their plan could work. It was not perfect but it was the only plan they had.

 

* * *

 

Arthur did not want to leave Merlin’s home but after another two days he felt well enough to travel. He could not pretend that he needed one more day to get better. Besides, he wasn’t parting with Merlin right away. After all, his friend had promised to travel with him. Moreover, Arthur knew that he would see Merlin again.

They took their time with the travel. They made more breaks than it was necessary and they prolonged them as much as it didn’t seem suspicious. At night they slept side by side under the clear sky. They talked a lot that night, joking and laughing as a pair of old vagabonds. Everything around them was distracting and seemed more interesting than healthy, all-night sleep. Besides, it was difficult to sleep when the person they cared about most in the world was so close to them and yet out of their reach.

They set off just before the noon. Arthur started to recognise the area and he knew that they would reach his castle in a few hours. When they were an hour away from their destination, Arthur stopped Merlin and looked at him sadly.

“I think we should part here,” he said.

“Why? There are still a few miles ahead,” said Merlin.

“That’s true and that’s why I think we should end our journey here. Someone could see us and inform my wife about you,” Arthur explained. “I don’t want to give Morgana any reason to be suspicious. I don’t believe that she could harm you but she could start watching you out of concern. We don’t want that, do we?”

“I see your point,” said Merlin, “but I’m worried about you too. Are you sure you feel well enough to travel on your own? Don’t you need someone to look after you?”

“Merlin, I’m not a baby and this is my kingdom and my people. I will be fine,” Arthur promised. “I will see you as soon as possible. My life in the castle is boring and you entertain me.”

“Arthur Pendragon, I am not your toy,” said Merlin, trying to sound offended.

“No, you’re my friend and I like it that way,” replied Arthur.

He only wanted to shake hands with Merlin but somehow they he ended up in a friendly embrace. He could not make himself complain as it was very nice and comfortable.

“Don’t be a prat,” said Merlin as a goodbye and two friends parted their ways.

 

* * *

 

When Arthur reached the castle, he was immediately escorted by guards to the court room where his wife was having a council. When Morgana saw her husband, she dismissed everybody, including her sister Morgause.

“I’ve been so worried. I thought you were dead,” she said as soon as they were left alone.

“I’m sorry. Didn’t you get my message?” asked Arthur.

“Oh, Arthur… I got your letter and it calmed me down a little bit but not entirely.” She sighed ostentatiously. “What happened? Where have you been this whole time?” She sat in a chair and Arthur followed her.

“There was a storm and my horse got scared,” he started.

“Sir Mordred and Sir Tristan found your horse but there was no sign of you,” said Morgana. “For a couple of days I thought that I’m a widow. I thought I lost my dear husband. You can’t do that to me!”

Arthur couldn’t help thinking that Morgana was exaggerating her story. There was something distant and cold in her eyes and he couldn’t put his fingers on it.

“I fell off my horse and lost my consciousness. I was not aware of what was going on for two days,” he explained. “I woke up in a small house of a middle-aged couple,” he continued. It was this part of the story in which he had to lie. Arthur wasn’t going to mention Merlin even once as he knew what Morgana was thinking of people like his friend.

“Did they know who you are?” she asked him.

“No, they didn’t,” he continued his lies. “However they took care of me as if I was their son.”

“Did you tell them who you are?” she kept asking.

“Not entirely,” said Arthur. “I wanted to write a letter to you so I told them that I was a knight and that I needed to inform my queen of my condition. They were surprised that they hosted a person of higher status but they didn’t make a fuss. I quite liked their attitude to me.”

“I’m glad that they treated you well and that you’re safe now,” said Morgana. “It’s good that you didn’t tell them the truth. It could be dangerous both for you and them.”

“That’s what I thought.” Arthur tried to smile at her but he was tired and a bit sad. He didn’t see Merlin for less than two hours and he already felt down.

“You should be more careful,” Morgana told him. “You made yourself an easy target for our enemies.”

“What enemies do you mean?” He asked her, intrigued.

Morgana looked confused for a few moments. Then she regained her confidence and smiled politely. “None. I didn’t mean any particular enemies,” she said. “You don’t need to worry about that. Nonetheless, you’re the king and you need to consider the possibility of having some enemies. No one knows what future holds.”

“I will do everything to keep myself and my kingdom safe,” promised Arthur.

“Excellent.”

“In order to do that, I will train with my knights harder and I will practice horse riding regularly,” Arthur continued. “I will become the king that this land needs. You won’t be ashamed of your husband.”

“I’m not ashamed of you,” Morgana denied quickly. “I’m proud of you and your efforts. I’m happy that you are so devoted to your kingdom. Keep training and practicing and don’t worry about the rest. I will take care of it. You have all time in the world to become a perfect ruler.”

Her words made Arthur shiver. There was something disturbing in what she said. He didn’t share his concerns with her, deciding that it is wiser to observe the situation from a distance. He needed to be careful but he wanted to get to the core of a political game his wife was playing. Since that day it had become his priority.

 

* * *

 

Merlin opened the door of his humble home and his eyes fell on a creature sleeping in his armchair.

“Kilgharrah,” he said and crossed his arms.

The dragon opened his eyes lazily. “You’re back,” Kilgharrah murmured.

“Of course I’m back,” Merlin replied. “This is my home. Can you tell me what you’re doing here?”

“I’m waiting for you. Isn’t it obvious?” the dragon asked.

“I wasn’t home. You shouldn’t just come in and wait,” said Merlin. “This is my property.”

“Details,” murmured Kilgharrah. “There are more important things than that. First of all… where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you since yesterday. I even started to worry.”

“There was no need. I’m fine,” he said.

“You’re far from fine but that’s a subject for another day. I’ve got some news for you. Very important news,” said the dragon. “Arthur’s been lost. No one knows where he is.”

“He’s in the castle,” Merlin told him.

“Have you heard what I just said?” asked Kilgharrah. “He’s been gone for several days.”

“He’s been here,” said Merlin finally.

“What?” The dragon did not hide his surprise.

“I found him injured in the forest and I took care of him,” Merlin explained. “Now he’s back in the castle.”

“You surprised me, Merlin. Are you… Have you talked about what happened?” Kilgharrah asked.

“We talked a lot and we’re good now,” said Merlin. “It’s not perfect but we want to be friends. I know it won’t be easy. Arthur’s a king and I’m a weirdo who lives in a forest. Morgana should never find out that we’re friends…”

“Morgana poses other problems that I want to talk to you about,” the dragon interrupted.

“What has she done this time?” asked Merlin.

“She’s been tormenting her own kind for quite a long time.”

“That’s nothing new,” said Merlin. “I try to stay out of her way as long as she doesn’t bother me. That’s one of the reasons I live here.”

“She’s become bold. Staying out of her way is not enough anymore,” Kilgharrah told him. “Do you know what she’s done to the creatures that were sent to your place?”

Merlin shook his head. He’d been too devastated after losing Arthur’s friendship to think or care about it.

“They were banished from this land. These who decided to stay here have to hide. Morgana has already killed some of them,” the dragon explained. “I’m on the run too. I can’t stay in one place for longer than two days. It’s too dangerous.”

“I’m so sorry, Kilgharrah, but what can I do?” he asked. “I have magic but I’m alone. I cannot defy Morgana, Morgause and their army. The knights are innocent. They follow the orders of their queen.”

“I’m not asking you to fight these people,” said Kilgharrah. “I’m not asking you to do anything on your own. It’s so great that you and Arthur are on good terms again. He’s the one who can change the policy towards magical creatures and these who wield magic. Morgana and Morgause cannot be the only ones who have magic in this kingdom and I fear that’s their ultimate purpose. Arthur must do something about it. You must show him the truth and ask him for help.”

“I don’t think he’s confident enough to defy Morgana. He needs time to believe that he can do that,” said Merlin sadly. “One day Arthur will be a great king but he’s not ready yet. He’d been locked in the tower for god’s sake! It will take years before he learns to rule and fight for his views.”

“We don’t have years, Merlin,” the dragon said.

“Then what should we do?”

Kilgharrah smiled. “You will quicken this process.”

“How?” asked Merlin.

“Be yourself and stop worrying about the consequences,” replied Kilgharrah. “You can make Arthur a better person and a better ruler. Trust me, that’s your destiny.”

This time Merlin did not say that there was no such thing as destiny. A part of him started to believe that everything was possible. Perhaps destiny was not a myth after all.


	16. Right moment in time

Arthur worked very hard to become a better fighter and rider. He was exhausted every evening and he went straight to bed after supper. However, his efforts were of great value. He felt that he was becoming stronger and tougher with every day. It was making him quite content but he was still far from happy. There were still many things that Arthur needed to do and learn. He tried to keep an eye on his wife but every time he asked her about her political decisions and plans, she was giving him dismissive answers. It was frustrating and made Arthur even more determined.

People were whispering around him but he could not hear what they were talking about. They avoided his gaze and his company. Even his knights were not as cheerful as they used to be. When he asked Sir Mordred about the whispers, he looked down and said that he didn’t listen to the city rumours. No one wanted to share their concerns with him, their king. Arthur didn’t want to use his authority to make them talk. He didn’t believe that they would listen to this order anyway. It was obvious that they feared Morgana more than him. She was a more experienced ruler and she wielded powerful magic. Arthur did not blame these people that they chose to be loyal to her. He was nothing like Morgana and he wouldn’t wield a comparable power and authority for a very long time. He had no choice but to find out the truth in a different way. However, he was yet to discover how to do it.

When Arthur sought some comfort, he was thinking about Merlin. It was almost three weeks since he had seen his friend for the last time. The urge to go to him was strong but Arthur knew that he had to wait for the right moment. He even decided against writing a letter to Merlin. Morgana or someone else could notice that and ask him uncomfortable questions. Arthur didn’t want to lie too much as he wasn’t the best liar. He had to be careful and reasonable.

Luckily, he didn’t have to wait much longer for the right moment. Three days later Morgana came to him and suggested him taking two or three days off.

“You’ve been working so hard,” she said. “I appreciate that but I’m worried. I don’t want you to be exhausted all the time. Our kingdom needs a king who’s relaxed.”

“What do you suggest?” asked Arthur.

Morgana smiled and said, “fresh air and quietness of fields and forests will be perfect for you. The weather is perfect. There shouldn’t be any storms or rains.”

“Do you suggest a patrol across our land?” he asked.

“I do,” Morgana confirmed. “You will rest and we will learn more about our kingdom. You can take whoever you want with you.”

“That’s not necessary,” said Arthur quickly. “I won’t need any knights.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m most certainly sure,” he told her. “I don’t want to make a fuss. I don’t want people I meet to know who I am.”

“If you go unprotected, I’ll be worried about you,” said Morgana, faking a deep concern.

“I’ll be fine. Trust me.” Arthur knew that he would be more than fine. Merlin made him feel not only happy but also extremely safe. “This time I’ll be well prepared.”

 

* * *

 

Merlin started to get worried. He knew that Arthur had a lot of duties but he could at least give him a sign that he was alright. There were so many things to discuss with Arthur that Merlin had no idea where to start. He did not want to overwhelm Arthur with information once his friend finally paid him a visit. However, Kilgharrah asked him for help and he knew that he couldn’t say no. The problem was larger than him and the dragon. All magic in the kingdom was put in a dangerous position so Merlin could no longer pretend that it was nothing. Morgana had to find out that she could not have everything and that threats and hatred led to nothing.

Merlin was in the middle of his reflections when he heard a clatter of hooves. He walked up to the window quickly and smiled as he saw a rider. When Arthur stopped his horse in front of his house, Merlin got out and had to stop himself from hugging his friend.

“You’re back,” said Merlin as a greeting.

“You doubted me?” asked Arthur only half-teasingly.

“Never.”

Arthur looked around, clearly in search for something.

“What’s wrong?” Merlin asked him.

“I wonder where I should tie my horse,” he said. “I don’t want to lose her again.”

Merlin helped him with this task and after a moment they were inside, eating a stew that Merlin had just prepared. These days Merlin cooked more food in case Arthur showed up so there was enough stew for both of them.

“What were you doing when I was gone?” asked Arthur.

“A lot of things,” Merlin replied. “I was busy most of the time.”

“I don’t believe that,” said Arthur. “What could keep you so busy? Did you try to travel finally? Did you make new friends?” He asked, trying not to sound too jealous.

“I didn’t have time for these kinds of things,” Merlin told him.

“Then what’s so important? No offence but you don’t have a kingdom to rule,” Arthur teased him.

Merlin sighed inwardly. It was going to be more difficult than he’d expected. “I’m worried about my kind,” he finally said.

“Your kind?”

“People and creatures of magic,” Merlin explained. “I heard some alarming rumours. I fear that those who wield magic have to hide their abilities.”

“Magic is not a crime in this kingdom,” said Arthur firmly. “Morgana, _the Queen_ , has magic. That’s just ridiculous. These mustbe the rumours and you shouldn’t worry.”

“I know it’s odd,” said Merlin. “I couldn’t believe myself.” He sighed. “It’s not like it used to be. I have chosen to live here because I didn’t want to stand out. People react to magic in various ways and I didn’t want to deal with their unpredictable reactions. Now the magical creatures escape because the army chase them. I think it started before I met you. Some of these creatures were put in this forest. I think Morgana intended to make it their prison. All magical creatures put in one remote forest.”

“My wife is quite a tough ruler but I don’t think she could do such thing,” said Arthur. “Think, Merlin… Why would she do that? I know she’s up to something but I doubt it’s about magic. She’s magic herself for god’s sake!”

“Perhaps she’s trying to achieve something else by controlling all magic in the kingdom. Morgana is unpredictable. Your wife is not…” Merlin bit his tongue before the words escaped his lips.”

“My wife is not what?” asked Arthur. “Come on, Merlin, finish the sentence. I want to hear it.”

“Your wife is not a good person,” said Merlin, fearing Arthur’s reaction.

Arthur was surprisingly calm and silent. It made Merlin more than a bit worried.

“Arthur?” he whispered softly.

“I’m fine,” the king said emotionlessly. “I never had a chance to get to know my wife. Morgana is cold and mysterious. She’s keeping me away from important matters. She’s trying to hide it but I feel it. She treats me like a child and I hate it. However, when she talks to me, she’s quite kind. I don’t know what she’s like to others, though. She keeps telling me not to be soft-hearted at which I fail.” He took a deeper breath. “Is she evil? I would like to know that.”

“I don’t know her very well,” said Merlin, “but I don’t think she’s a good ruler. She’s always wanted to be a queen. You’ve made her one.”

Arthur nodded. “I know it’s always been about the title. Why else would she marry a complete stranger? A loser like me?”

“Don’t say that,” Merlin said firmly. “You’re not a loser. You learn so fast and you’ll be a great king one day.”

“I doubt that. I will never be like Morgana,” said Arthur.

“And that’s why you’ll be great,” Merlin assured him and squeezed his hand lightly.

“Morgana will not give me a chance to rule as I wish,” the king said sadly. “She’s getting all the power while I still crawl like a child. I cannot stop her. I’m too weak.”

“You’ve got me and Kilgharrah,” said Merlin. “I think those who have magic will help you if you let them. We don’t want to live in fear.”

“Calm down, Merlin. You put too much faith in me,” said Arthur worryingly. “I don’t want to let you down.”

“I know it’s overwhelming. I didn’t want it to sound like this,” said Merlin. “I know it will take time. However, I would like to know if that’s what you want. Don’t do it for your friends. Do it if you feel that’s something important to you.”

Arthur’s face brightened a little bit. “It is important,” he said. “I want to do important things.”

Merlin had a very strong urge to lean down and kiss his king. It took him a lot of strength to keep himself calm.

“How long can you stay?” Merlin asked suddenly.

“Couple of days,” replied Arthur. “I can’t leave Morgana on her own for a longer period of time.”

Merlin nodded. “We’ll start tomorrow morning then,” he said.

“What will we start?” Arthur asked him curiously.

“You need to get to know your kingdom,” Merlin told him. “If you want to know what’s best for your people you have to see their lives and their problems with your own eyes.”

“So we’re going to travel across the country?” asked Arthur.

“We have a horse,” said Merlin.

“One horse.”

“Won’t you share it with me?” Merlin asked teasingly.

“That’s not what I meant,” said Arthur, trying very hard not to blush. He was grateful for a dim light that was surrounding them. “It’s not going to be comfortable.”

“Is my house comfortable?” Merlin replied with a question. “I don’t mind it. Do you?”

“I think I will manage,” he said. “That’s for the good of my kingdom after all.”

 

* * *

 

“Where are we going first?” asked Arthur when they were about to mount the horse the next day. “You’ve got a plan, don’t you?”

Merlin beamed at him. “There’s one place that I think you should see but I need to warn you that it’s related to magic. If you’re not comfortable with that, we can go elsewhere. However…”

“Calm down, Merlin,” Arthur interrupted him. “I know that all magic is not evil. You’re not and I trust you,” he said firmly.

Merlin’s heart skipped a beat. He could listen to such kind words from Arthur all day. “Good,” he said simply.

“So what’s the place?” Arthur asked.

“It’s the Lake of Avalon,” said Merlin with pride. “It’s not really hidden but you probably won’t find it if you don’t know where to look.”

“You said that this place is related to magic,” Arthur noticed.

“It is,” Merlin confirmed. “Many magical creatures come to life at its shore. There used to be a tower on the isle in the middle of the Lake but it’s been ruined for years.”

“What happened? What was in the tower?” Arthur kept asking.

Merlin shrugged. “No one knows it,” he said. “However, the creatures of magic tend to respect this place.”

“So you want me to see it because it’s important for your kind,” the king said.

“It’s also very beautiful and majestic. You’ll like,” Merlin assured him quickly.

“You don’t have to convince me, Merlin. I’d love to see the Lake of Avalon,” said Arthur. “I want to see various places in my kingdom. I need to know what’s at the stake.”

Merlin put a spell on the horse so the animal knew the way. They rushed ahead with the wind in their hair. Merlin was sitting behind Arthur, holding his waist lightly. He thought that it would be awkward but it was very pleasant. Very similar thoughts were running through Arthur’s head but he tried to dismiss them. He thought that they were highly inappropriate and that Merlin deserved better.

“We’ll get there soon,” said Merlin after two hours.

“Great, I’m getting a bit hungry,” Arthur replied.

After a few minutes of riding, Arthur noticed that the trees around them were getting thicker and thicker. “Are you sure it’s the right way,” he asked.

“Absolutely.”

Then the trees thinned out all at once and Merlin and Arthur’s eyes saw the clear waters of the Lake of Avalon. The sun rays were dancing lazily on its surface, surrounding the small isle in the middle. The flowers around the lake were colourful and had a beautiful, soothing scent.

“It’s stunning,” whispered Arthur, as they got off the horse. “Is this place real?”

“It’s hard to believe it’s real, isn’t it?” asked Merlin, laughing. “I couldn’t believe myself when I saw it for the first time. You should see it at night, though.  Magic of the Lake comes to life after the sunset.”

“You said this place was not magical,” Arthur noticed.

“It’s not,” Merlin agreed. “By magic of the Lake I meant the creatures of magic which come here at night. They influence this place. That’s unavoidable.”

“I see,” said Arthur. “I want to see it,” he decided after a moment.

“It’s the middle of the day. Do you want to stay here so long?” asked Merlin, bewildered. “Won’t it be a waste of your precious time?”

“Don’t try to be sarcastic, Merlin,” Arthur told him. “I believe that it’s worth seeing so it’s worth my time. We’ll move on in the morning.”

“What about other places you intended to see?”

“I’ll see them another time.”

Merlin nodded. “You’re the boss,” said Merlin. “Let’s eat something. Perhaps we should take a nap afterwards. We need to be well rested if we want to watch the night’s life of the Lake.”

“I like the way you think,” said Arthur. “First food, then sleep and work at the very end of the list.”

“You won’t become a great king if you keep doing things in this order,” Merlin pointed out.

“Shut up Merlin and get the food out of your bag,” replied Arthur, sitting in the grass. “I’ll try to be a great king when I rest.”

“Yes, _Sire_.”

They both laughed out loud. They loved their little talks more than they should.

 


	17. The Mists of Avalon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're slowly getting to the end. I think I will finish the story ~20th chapter. Enjoy!

Merlin felt amazing. The warm sun rays were dancing over his skin, making his nap wonderful. His body was surrounded by pleasant warmth while his thoughts were drifting elsewhere. For a short moment Merlin forgot about all his problems. It was a feeling that he wanted to keep but he would lose it as soon as he woke up.

Arthur couldn’t sleep. He was lying on his side, lazily watching Merlin’s moving chest. He wanted to stay there forever. It was so tempting to abandon his kingdom and go travel with Merlin. There were so many places to discover. The world was so big and he was stuck in the castle with an exception of a few days that he could spend with Merlin.

He sat up and sighed regretfully, glancing at Merlin. There were more things he regretted but he could do nothing about them. He turned his gaze away from his friend and looked at the Lake of Avalon. Arthur could see why Merlin adored this place so much. Even in the peaceful daylight the lake seemed simply magical. Arthur used to think that magic was wrong and corrupt. Merlin had changed his opinion and now he could see the beautiful side of magic. He wanted to become a part of it.

Arthur did not think any longer. He stood up quietly and pulled off his shirt. Then he glanced at Merlin to check if his friend was awake. Luckily, Merlin was sleeping like a baby. Arthur pulled off his trousers but kept his underwear on. He knew that many men had no problem in bathing together but Arthur was not like them. The idea of being naked in the presence of Merlin made him blush madly.

Arthur walked into the lake up to his waist. The water was neither warm nor cold. It was exactly what Arthur wanted it to be. He took a few deep breaths and bent his knees. He could feel the water around himself and it was perfect. He remembered that he could swim when he was a kid. Many years had passed since the last time he swam and he wondered if he still remembered how to do it. He pushed his arms against the water and his legs followed them. Swimming felt so natural and soothing that Arthur lost track of time. It could be ten minutes or two hours. It didn’t matter, though. Arthur was going to enjoy that as long as he could.

“You’ll drown!” he heard Merlin shouting from the shore.

Arthur turned his head and smiled when he saw his friend pulling off his shirt and trousers. Merlin’s pale skin looked beautiful in the full sunlight. Arthur couldn’t help staring. Suddenly he didn’t care that Merlin could find it odd.

“I can’t believe you didn’t wait for me,” said Merlin, as he swam toward Arthur.

“I couldn’t sleep. Fresh water was tempting and I didn’t want to wake you up,” said Arthur in his defence. “You would have done the same.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Merlin denied. ‘Some magical creatures could find our swimming in the Lake of Avalon sacrilegious.”

“Why did you follow me then?” Arthur asked him.

“What else should I do? Watch you having fun on your own?” asked Merlin. “No way!”

They started splashing the water on each other, laughing as loud as they could. They were having so much fun that at first they didn’t notice the mysterious mist that was starting to form around the lake.

“Is it normal?” asked Arthur, when the mist was finally curling around them.

“I don’t know,” said Merlin honestly. “It feels a little bit odd, though. It makes me… I don’t even know. Let’s go back to the shore.”

“I agree,” said Arthur and they swam arm in arm towards the land.

They crawled into the ground and lay down side by side, equally breathing in and out.

“My head’s spinning,” said Arthur.

“Mine too.”

“Merlin, are you shivering?”

“I’m not sure,” said Merlin. “Are you?”

“We should put our clothes on,” murmured Arthur.

“We’ll only make them wet,” replied Merlin. “We have to wait. We-we have to…”

“Come here Merlin,” said Arthur, opening his arms. “We need body heat.” He did not know how he said that. It simply slipped his mouth. Arthur didn’t feel embarrassed as he would have any other time. There was something in this mist that made him do strange things.

Merlin didn’t say anything and leaned into Arthur. He also knew that there was something unusual about it all. “It must be magic,” he whispered into Arthur’s chest.

“I hope we’re safe,” whispered Arthur, trying to keep his eyes open. His eyelids were so heavy. “I’m so… so tired. Merlin…?”

“I know,” Merlin murmured. “I can’t… fight it… I… I…”

Their bodies gave up and their minds went into oblivion.

 

* * *

 

When Merlin regained his consciousness, his head was still spinning around. It took him a few moments to calm down and realize where he was. He looked down at Arthur’s broad and naked chest that had been his pillow. His position was embarrassing but there were other things to worry about at that moment. Arthur was still unconscious and Merlin had no idea what happened to them. The mist thinned out but it was still surrounding the lake. The sun was very low in the sky and the night was about to fall so they had been in this strange state for a few hours.

“Arthur,” said Merlin, shaking his friend’s arm, “wake up.”

The king frowned but remained asleep.

“Arthur,” Merlin repeated impatiently. “It’s important.”

Arthur groaned and slowly opened his eyes. “My head’s aching,” he murmured.

“I know,” said Merlin, “but you must wake up. Come on, sit up slowly.”

Arthur did as Merlin asked, sitting by his friend’s side and massaging his pounding head. “What happened?” he asked after a while.

“I wish I knew,” said Merlin truthfully. “There’s something odd in this mist,” he continued. “I can sense magic but its source is unknown to me. We should get out of here immediately.”

“We won’t,” Arthur told him. “I want to see this place at night. I don’t care about this stupid mist.”

“Arthur, it may be dangerous!” Merlin tried to make him see the reason. “I’ve never seen something like that before. You are my king and I have to protect you.”

“I’m too tired to travel anyway,” said Arthur. “Calm down, Merlin. We just took a nap. What’s wrong with a nap?”

“It wasn’t an ordinary nap,” Merlin reminded him.

“A nap is a nap.”

Merlin groaned. “Don’t be a child, Arthur,” he said. “You know very well why I’m worried. You know that it’s not normal.”

“Nothing about me is normal,” said Arthur angrily. “I got used to that.”

“What do you mean?” asked Merlin, his voice much softer than moment before.

“Nothing of great importance,” murmured Arthur. “I’m happy to be here. It’s true that my head is aching and that I feel odd right now but I’d rather be here than in the castle. I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of that. Perhaps I do that because of the mist. I don’t really know and I don’t really care.”

“Arthur, calm down, you’re not yourself,” Merlin told him. “You act differently because of the magic.”

“No, Merlin, perhaps for the first time in my life I’m finally myself,” said Arthur hysterically. “Don’t you see it? Don’t you feel it?”

“What do you feel Arthur?” Merlin asked, worried. “Tell me. Maybe I can help you.”

Arthur grimaced. “All these things… they overwhelm me.”

“What things Arthur?” Merlin knelt down in front of his friend and grabbed his shoulders. “Breathe in and out,” he said. “We can deal with it.”

“I’m not so sure,” whispered Arthur. “Something has changed inside me. I can’t put my fingers on it but it won’t stop.”

“It’s some kind of magic and it will pass, Arthur,” Merlin assured him. “Does it burn you? Does it hurt? I need you to focus. I want to help you but first I need to find out what we deal with. Do you understand me?”

Arthur started shivering. “It will never pass,” he said weakly. “It’s been always inside me. I tried to forget but I couldn’t. It’s stronger and stronger.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Merlin, caressing his shoulders. “It’s just a side effect of magic. Trust me. I’m an expert in these things.”

Arthur shook his head. “It’s so much stronger than magic,” he mumbled. “You should never know. I should spare you but…” he gasped. “How can I fight it? This place brings it up. I can’t control it, Merlin. Believe me, you should go away. I don’t want you to be hurt. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“You make no sense, Arthur,” said Merlin, truly scared. His friend was a mess. He tried to control the situation but he had no idea how. Some very powerful force was messing with Arthur. If he had known the source, he could have done something to help his friend. However, the mist had come from nowhere and it disrupted his perception. Merlin suspected that his own magic was protecting him to some extent from the mysterious force but he felt that he failed Arthur. He was there to protect the king from any harm. However, Arthur was clearly in some mental and emotional pain. Merlin had never seen anyone in such a state and it scared him to the bone.

“ _Go_ , Merlin,” Arthur begged him.

“I will never leave you,” said Merlin firmly. “I will do everything in my power to release you from your pain. That’s what friends do. Just let me help you.”

“It burns, Merlin,” whispered Arthur. “I’ll burn with it.”

“I will use my magic to soothe your pain. I know that it seems impossible right now but you’ll feel better soon.” Merlin hoped he sounded confident. There was no guarantee that his magic could help but he needed Arthur to calm down. “Just describe me what you feel. It must be hard but I really need that information.”

Arthur looked into his eyes. Merlin could see that there was something wild in his pupils. Arthur wasn’t mad but he was lost and confused. Merlin didn’t want to see him in such a state. He wanted his friend back to normal for his own good.

“Your magic won’t soothe my pain,” said Arthur regretfully. “I wish it could but that’s impossible.”

“I know a little bit more about magic than you, Arthur,” Merlin replied. “Just give me a chance and I’ll show you.”

“But I know myself better than you,” whispered Arthur. His voice was low and sad. “It’s not about this place. I’ve been supressing these things for years but I can’t do this anymore. You have changed it.”

“So your state is my fault?” Merlin asked him.

“Of course not,” said Arthur quickly. “This is my fault. I’m an error.”

“What do you mean by error? A human being cannot be an error.” Merlin sighed. “Let’s start it again. Tell me what you feel and I’ll try to help you. My magic is quite powerful and…”

Arthur cried. He did not want to listen to it again. Merlin didn’t seem to understand anything Arthur tried to tell him. Perhaps words could not be enough. Perhaps Merlin needed a more direct explanation. Arthur’s heart was burning with desire and passion that he had struggled to contain. He knew that it would ruin everything that he held dear. However, he felt that there was no other way. Merlin was determined to find out the truth and it was the only understandable explanation that he could give him.

Arthur leaned forward and captured Merlin’s lips with his own. The kiss was short but sweet. Arthur had to force himself to pull back. He hoped he was prepared for Merlin’s reaction. He hoped it wasn’t going to be too harsh.

Instead of yelling or moving away, Merlin touched his lips uncertainly. “What’s just happened?” he asked hazily.

“I think that’s pretty obvious,” Arthur answered. “I kissed you.”

“Did you mean it?” Merlin asked him after a minute.

Arthur still had a chance to change his mind. He could tell Merlin that it was a friendly joke or that magic made him do it. However, he didn’t want to hide his feelings any longer. Merlin deserved the truth even if it was going to ruin everything.

“With all my heart,” whispered Arthur. “I’ve wanted to do that for weeks.”

“You’re married,” Merlin reminded him.

“True.” Arthur blushed like a maiden. “But my heart doesn’t belong to Morgana. I married her when I thought you hated me. It’s a marriage of convenience.”

“I see,” said Merlin looking at him intently.

“What are you going to do Merlin?” Arthur finally dared to ask this question. “Do you hate me now? Do you hate what I’ve done?”

Merlin didn’t reply immediately. He started trembling and tried to take a deep breath first. However, when he couldn’t put into the right words what he wanted to say, he leaned down a bit and brushed Arthur’s lips.

“Is it really happening?” asked Arthur.

“I hope so,” Merlin mumbled and kissed his friend firmly.

Arthur opened his mouth in response, letting Merlin’s tongue in. It was a desperate act that meant so much to them. For this one wonderful evening they forgot about the rest of the world and fell into one another’s arms.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile in the castle Morgana was walking impatiently around Morgause’s chamber. Her sister was leaning over a massive bowl which was filled with cloudy liquid.

“Why isn’t it working?” asked Morgana. “I thought you knew how to spy.”

“I know what I do, Morgana,” Morgause told her. “Don’t worry. I’ve created the mist of true desire. I’m sure Arthur’s been influenced by it already. Our plan is flawless.”

“I would like to see it with my own eyes,” replied Morgana. “Why can’t we see the vision in your bowl? Arthur’s cheating on me is essential. I need to know what’s happened before I deal with him.”

“I know what’s at the stake,” said Morgause quietly. “I’m working on the visual effect. The Lake of Avalon is not an ordinary place. It’s not easy to get through the magic that surrounds it.”

“You told me you can do that,” said Morgana.

“I can.” Morgause’s eyes shone with gold. “I need just a moment. Here it’s coming…”

Morgana walked up to her sister quickly and looked down into the bowl. At first she could see only water. However, after a while, the water started to take some shapes and colours. It was just a matter of minutes before the full vision revealed itself in front of their eyes.

“It’s perfect,” whispered Morgause.

Morgana smirked, looking at her husband in Merlin’s arms. “That’s exactly what I wanted to see,” she said. “Morgause, I think we should prepare for our king’s return.”

“Tomorrow is our day,” said the elder sister.

“Tomorrow all our dreams will come true,” added Morgana and laughed in a truly evil way.


	18. Promises

Arthur did not remember the last time he slept so peacefully. He felt safe and happy. Merlin was sleeping by his side with an arm across his chest. The warlock also looked content and relaxed. Arthur smiled lazily at him. The things between them had changed but it was a wonderful change.

"You're staring at me, aren't you?" murmured Merlin with his eyes closed.

"The sun is rising," said Arthur quietly. "I think we missed the night display of magic."

"We were busy," replied Merlin, opening his eyes and beaming at his friend.

Arthur laughed. "I guess you're right," he said, nuzzling Merlin's neck. "I want to stay here with you," he added after a moment. "Tell me it's possible."

"Arthur," started Merlin softly, "I know what you feel. I would love that but there are more important things than  _us_. We should focus on them while we still can."

"But I don't want to come back to Morgana," said Arthur. "It was hard before but now it seems impossible. I always thought that I was cursed. I hated myself for being attracted to other men. You've changed that. I'm no longer ashamed of my feelings and cravings." He kissed Merlin's forehead softly. "My father put me in that tower to fix me. He noticed my interest in men. He decided to separate me from them. I was supposed to stay in my prison until the day he found a wife for me. However, my marriage to Morgana didn't fix me. It was never possible."

"There was nothing to fix after all," whispered Merlin. "I'm happy that you are like this." He sighed. "You're still married though. And it makes me your lover. It would have been frowned upon if you were a single man. Now it's a disaster."

"So you regret it?" asked Arthur, clearly hurt.

"Of course not," said Merlin. "But it complicates your already complicated life. You have your wife and your kingdom. I can't be more important than your people."

"Too late," said Arthur.

"You can't think this way," Merlin berated him. "We planned to do such great things. Your people are in danger under Morgana's rule. You can't leave them now. They need you. My kind need you."

Arthur nodded. "I know it's important. If Morgana plans something horrible, she must be stopped. I'm not sure I can do that but I'll try. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I can take care of myself," Merlin told him. "I will support you but until Morgana is a danger, we can't be like this. It's distractive."

"How can I let it go now?" asked Arthur. "I've just realized that I can be happy. Don't take it away from me."

"I wouldn't dare," said Merlin. "However, you must focus on Morgana's plans right now. You need to stay in the castle to keep an eye on her all the time. I adore your visits but they slow us down. We can't win in this way."

"What about later?" he asked.

Merlin smiled softly. "When it's over, I'll still be here for you," he said. "You can call it an encouragement or a reward."

"I like the sound of that," said Arthur.

"So you agree?"

"What else can I do?" he asked. "I don't trust Morgana and Morgause. I have to find strength to become a ruler my people need."

"I will support you," Merlin promised. "I'll talk to my people. I'm sure the people and creatures of magic will take your side. I don't know how much time it will take but you will achieve great things."

"Thanks, it means a lot to me," said Arthur. "At least now I have something I will be waiting for."

"I don't want to be the one who spoils everything but I think it's time for us," said Merlin sadly. "We have to act quickly if we want to win this war. You must come back to Morgana and pretend that everything is normal. Don't let her find out that you know so much. This information could put you in mortal danger."

"You're exaggerating things," said Arthur calmly.

"I'm not so sure." Merlin sighed. "Just be careful. I don't want to lose you."

Arthur grinned. "You really do care about me," he said.

"You're a prat," said Merlin but kissed Arthur's lips softly. "I will always care for you since you have no sense of preservation."

Arthur shrugged. "You love me for that," he said teasingly, making himself and Merlin blush.

"I guess I do," replied Merlin. He cleared his throat and looked around. "We're still in our underwear. I like sharing my body heat with you but I think it's the best moment to put the rest of our clothes on. I still have some bread for us. We'll have our breakfast and come back to our lives."

"There's no fun when you start acting like a responsible adult," said Arthur but he stood up and walked up to the pile of clothes. "I don't know why I've made you my lover."

Merlin threw a stick at him.

"Hey!" yelled Arthur. "That's not how adults behave."

"A moment ago you complained on my mature behaviour," Merlin reminded him. "I just showed you what a kid would do. You should be happy."

"I'll be happy if you come here and feed me," said Arthur. "I'm hungry."

Merlin sighed inwardly. Sometimes Arthur behaved like a small child. It was not easy to deal with him. However, Merlin was happy that he had such opportunity. Arthur was worth all his efforts.

When Merlin fed both himself and Arthur, which took him more time than he had expected, they could finally start their return journey. Arthur insisted on taking Merlin to his home, even though Merlin told him that he could walk half of the way.

"You are  _my_ man, Merlin," said Arthur. "I will escort you."

Merlin secretly appreciated Arthur's words. Nonetheless, it didn't stop him from saying that it was a waste of precious time.

"Stop arguing," Arthur told him. "I will do that anyway. It will take me only a few hours. My kingdom will be fine. I don't even know when I see you again. You can't take away from me these few hours."

When they reached Merlin's hut, their hearts were aching already.

"I hope to see you soon," said Arthur. "I'm not sure I can survive without you for long."

"When it's over, you will have me by your side all the time," Merlin promised.

"I'm looking forward to that day." Arthur looked at his friend and lover sadly. "Give me the most amazing kiss so I have something to remember."

"That's bossy," said Merlin but covered Arthur's mouth with his own. They kissed passionately for a few long moments, not wanting to let go.

Finally Merlin pulled back. "That's enough," he said regretfully. "Keep it in mind."

"I will," Arthur promised and rushed toward the castle where Morgana was already awaiting his return.

 

* * *

 

Morgause entered her sister's chambers with a smile on her face.

"You bring me some good news?" Morgana asked her instantly.

"The guard just informed me that he spotted your husband," Morgause told her. "It's an excellent timing. Should I inform the council of an immediate gathering?"

"I would like to talk to my husband in private first," she decided. "We should let him believe that everything is all right."

"But Arthur needs a public humiliation," Morgause reminded her sister. "The people must see the true face of their king. Otherwise they could take his side."

"I'm not going to change our plans," Morgana assured her. "I just want to postpone them a little bit."

"What for?" Morgause folded her arms and leant on the wall.

"I want a gradation of humiliation," Morgana explained. "Arthur deserves that," she said bitterly. "He could live peacefully in the castle but he dreamt of becoming someone important. He is not a king material. He knows nothing about ruling and he would ruin everything." Morgana smirked lightly. "I want him to be scared. I want him to suffer slowly," she continued. "I would have been more merciful if he hadn't betrayed me with this pitiful warlock. I don't care for his physical urges. They are for weak people like him." She sighed. "However, he dared to plot against me with that boy. That's unforgivable."

Morgause nodded. "I know what you feel," she said. "Cendred betrayed my trust too."

"Don't worry, sister," said Morgana. "When I'm over with Arthur, we'll deal with Cendred," she promised. "He thinks we've forgiven him…"

"That's not very wise of him," Morgause pointed out.

"He's going to lose everything. That's the right punishment for men like him."

"However we should focus on Arthur right now," Morgause reminded her. "He'll be here any moment. What do you want me to do?"

"Tell the guards to escort him to our chambers," said Morgana. "I'm going to welcome him with all the honours he deserves."

 

* * *

 

"I'm glad to see you in good health, my wife," said Arthur, trying to sound as cheerful as he could. "Has anything important happened during my absence?" he asked.

"Many things have happened but we can talk about them later," Morgana informed him. "I would like to hear something about your journey first. Where have you travelled? Do you like what you saw? Did you meet someone?"

Arthur felt a little overwhelmed and surprised by her questions but he didn't think they were suspicious. "I didn't see much," he answered truthfully. "I focused on forests and fields. There was no time for visiting our villages and towns."

"You must have been very lonely then?" Morgana assumed cunningly.

"Not exactly," he said. "I appreciated what I had. My journey was definitely refreshing."

"I don't doubt that," said Morgana. "Please, sit in your favourite armchair. You must be exhausted."

Arthur was indeed tired so he sat down in the armchair. His wife sat opposite to him and smiled. "Are you comfortable now?" she asked.

"Indeed, I am."

"Good," she said, smiling even wider. "Now tell me something… did you enjoy your journey to the Lake of Avalon?" Morgana made this question sound as innocently as her bitterness let her.

Arthur paled instantly. He opened his mouth and closed it immediately. He repeated it thrice before Morgana decided to answer his unspoken question.

"How do I know?" she asked. "Did you really think I didn't know where your message came from a few weeks ago? I knew you were staying at the hut of your  _friend_ Merlin. I wield some very powerful magic, Arthur. Detection spell is quite easy."

"Then why did you play this game?" he finally asked her. "You could have just told me you knew."

"I wanted to check your loyalty," she said. "You lied to me. You made up a story of a middle aged couple. Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"I never said that."

"I just want you to see that you weren't playing fair too," Morgana continued. "I had to keep a closer eye on you when I noticed your lies. It was a reasonable thing to do."

"You spied on me all this time?" Arthur asked her. "How did you do that? How do you know about the lake?"

Morgana sighed. "This is my kingdom, Arthur, and I have magic. Do you really need me to answer these questions?" she asked. "You should be worrying about yourself right now."

"What are you going to do? Kill me?" Arthur wasn't scared. He was mad both at Morgana and himself. He should have known that his wife was clever enough to find out the truth. Besides, he was glad that Merlin wasn't there. He was far away from the castle, relatively safe.

"Kill you?" Morgana laughed. "Don't be naïve, Arthur. I can't just kill you. What would the people say? What would they do? I don't want a rebellion. I would deal with it, obviously, but I need them for my further plans. I need their loyalty and when they find out what you've done, they'll take my side."

"What are you going to tell them?" asked Arthur.

"Only the truth." Morgana grabbed the chalice of wine and took a sip.

"You mean your version of the truth," said Arthur bitterly.

"You're adorable when you're angry." Morgana drank the rest of the wine. "There's only one truth," she continued. "You've betrayed my trust and you've betrayed your people."

"It's true I cheated on you," said Arthur. "However, you cannot accuse me of betraying my people. I think about them all the time. I want to improve their life conditions. What did you do in that matter? The answer is nothing." He had to take a deep breath to calm down a bit. "You only care about your position. There's nothing you can offer these people."

"You're wrong." Morgana smirked. "I offer them stability. I am the perfect ruler of this kingdom. I know everything about our neighbours. I know how to deal with them. People know that my rule means safety."

"They fear you," mumbled Arthur.

"I never said they didn't." Morgana sighed. "You still don't get it. People have to fear you in order to respect you. It is the most fundamental truth in this world."

"You can gain respect with love and mutual respect," Arthur told her.

"Are you going to offer them your love?" she asked ironically. "I think they may find your love off-putting and sinful."

"I knew you would never understand that," he said. "I don't know how I could ever touch you, Morgana. You're so cold and cruel."

"You think you've just offended me?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "I never expected your love. Our marriage has always been a simple deal. You could live here quite safely but you chose your little warlock friend. That's a betrayal I cannot forget. If you had taken a knight as your secret love, I could have probably turned a blind eye to your actions. However, you collaborate with an enemy."

Arthur snorted. "You asked Merlin for help first," he said.

"How dare you? I don't ask for help. I tricked him to gain the title. I mercifully let him go away afterwards. Now I know that was a mistake."

Arthur started to fear that Morgana would try to harm Merlin. However, he didn't reveal his fears. He wasn't going to give Morgana such an advantage.

"Are you afraid of me, Arthur?" asked Morgana after a few moments of silence.

"I pity you," he replied.

"Then you should start pitying yourself," she said. "I have so many ideas and I still don't know which of them I'll use. However, one thing is certain. You're going to regret that you were born."

"I felt it before," said Arthur. "It won't break me."

"We shall see," said Morgana, as her eyes shone with gold. "You'll stay here now. I need to prepare for a very important council meeting.  _You_ will be the subject of our discussion."

Arthur couldn't move a bit but he didn't say anything. Morgana smirked and walked up to her wardrobe. "The black dress will be perfect," she said. "It will match my sorrow, don't you think?"

Arthur knew that the council was his lost battle before it even began.

 

* * *

 

The council members were highly surprised when they saw their Queen wearing a plain black dress. Moreover, she was clearly disturbed by something.

"I have some tremendous news," she announced at the beginning of the meeting. "They concern my husband and your king."

These words drew attention of all gathered people.

"He has betrayed me in the cruellest way a man can betray a woman," she continued. "However, he has also betrayed you, his people. I am not certain of what I should do and therefore I ask you for your ideas."

"What has the king done exactly?" asked the oldest member of the council.

"It pains me to say it but you deserve the truth," she said. "I will tell you everything in a moment. I just need a minute to calm down."

Morgause watched the meeting from the dark corner of the room. She was smiling mischievously, seeing that her sister was playing her part perfectly. The council was all hers. These people were going to believe everything.

When the council was over, all its members walked to their households in a rush. They were deeply shocked and disgusted. Soon all their families would know the sins of Arthur Pendragon. Soon all the city would gossip about the fallen king.

"Arthur is over," said Morgause when she and her sister stayed alone in the council room.

"That has been certain for a longer time," said Morgana. "I'll give people time to talk about it for a little bit before I make my final decision."

"Admit it. You want to torment your husband."

Morgana folded her arms and smiled. "You know me too well, dear sister."

"Just don't postpone it too much," Morgaise advised her.

"Don't worry. I know how to keep the balance."


	19. Saving Arthur

Arthur woke up to the clatter of steps. He expected to see Morgana who had put him in the dungeons the previous night. However, the person he saw was not his wife. It was a serving girl whose name he could not recall but who had been working in the castle for a few weeks. The girl had a tray with food in her tiny hands and thus moved very carefully. One of the guards opened the door of Arthur’s cell and let her in.

“I brought you breakfast, Sire,” she said shyly.

“Thank you… I’m sorry but I don’t remember your name.”

The girl blushed a bit. “I’m Freya, my lord,” the girl said.

“Then thank you, Freya.” Arthur looked at the tray. He could see some bread and cheese. It wasn’t much but he was starving. However, he was chained to the wall and he couldn’t just eat the meal. He started to wonder if Morgana was teasing him in this way.

“Can you help me?” he asked finally.

Freya’s blush deepened. “Of course, Sire,” she squealed. “Lady Morgana told me to feed you. I’m just a bit forgetful. Forgive me, Sire.”

“Stop calling me _Sire_ ,” he said. “Do I look like a king in these dungeons?”

“You are imprisoned but you still have your title,” the girl told him and sat on the floor by his side.

“Not for long,” murmured Arthur.

“That’s not for me to decide,” she said, grabbing a piece of bread and letting him take a bite. “Lady Morgana instructed me to take care of you,” she continued. “I will be bringing you three meals a day until she decides your fate.”

“Do you know what I’ve done?” Arthur asked her suddenly. “Do you know my greatest sins?”

“I heard some rumours but I don’t care about them,” she told him. “Your fate is yet to be decided. Before that final moment, everything may happen.”

There was something puzzling in her words. It made Arthur wonder if Freya knew something he didn’t know. He wanted to ask her but the guards outside his cells were listening to the conversation. Talking openly about his concerns could harm the innocent girl. He still felt responsible for the fate of his people. As Freya informed him, formally he was still a king. Therefore he had to keep thinking and behaving like one.

 

* * *

 

“Merlin! Merlin!”

The warlock rushed towards the window and saw his dragon friend. “What’s wrong, Kilgharrah?” he asked. “And please, talk to me very slowly. I’ve just woken up.”

“It’s the afternoon already,” said the dragon.

“I couldn’t sleep at night,” mumbled Merlin. “Come in.”

Kilgharrah entered Merlin’s home noisily and left the door opened.

“It’s my house,” Merlin told him but used his magic to close the door.

“It doesn’t matter now,” said the dragon. “I can tell that you haven’t heard the news yet. Why does it always have to be me who delivers you bad news.”

Merlin’s heart skipped a beat as he was certain that this news concerned his beloved king. “What’s happened to Arthur?” he asked instantly. “Tell me now!”

“He’s imprisoned,” Kilgharrah informed him sadly. “Morgana put him in the castle dungeons.”

“Why did she do such thing?”

“She knows about you and him.” The dragon looked very concerned when he was saying that. “By now half of the kingdom must know about it.”

“She informed the people?” asked Merlin angrily.

“She did.”

Merlin started pacing. “It can’t be that bad. I mean… people know that Arthur is a good man. He may be frowned upon but he does not deserve a prison or worse.” He glanced at Kilgharrah. “Tell me that I’m not wrong.”

“Even if you’re right, people will not defy Morgana,” the dragon told him. “She’s very powerful.”

“Then I will do that,” said Merlin. “I don’t fear her. She is powerful but I wield magic too.”

“You can’t do this on your own,” said Kilgharrah wisely. “That’s too dangerous.”

“I can’t sit here when Arthur is in danger! Not after all we went through! Not now!” Merlin was getting angrier and angrier but it was giving him more strength.

“I’m not asking you to be passive,” the dragon told him. “I just don’t want you to act without a minute of thought. You won’t help Arthur if Morgana catches you.”

Merlin stopped pacing and turned toward his friend. “What should I do then? She may sentence him to death any time, Kilgharrah. I will not allow it to happen! We’ve got no time to waste. Every single hour is important!”

“Arthur is not entirely vulnerable,” the dragon assured him.

“You just told me he’s in the dungeons! Normally, it would be hardly possible for him to defeat Morgana. Now it’s just hopeless.”

“You didn’t let me finish,” said Kilgharrah. “Arthur is not alone in the castle. I’ve got my people inside.”

“What people? How?”

The dragon rolled his eyes. “You know that the people and creatures of magic have been preparing a rebellion against Morgana for some time. How do you think we know what’s going on in the castle?”

Merlin calmed down a bit. “So you assure me that Arthur is protected,” he said.

“Of course he is,” said Kilgharrah. “We need him to rule this kingdom. With him on our side, we will not have to live in fear.”

“All right,” said Merlin. “Tell me exactly who protects Arthur. Do I know these people?”

“He’s quite safe. Isn’t it enough?” asked the dragon.

“Who is it?” Merlin wasn’t going to give up.

“I know for certain that one of our sorceresses is taking care of your man,” said Kilgharrah and his words made Merlin blush madly. “It’s not time to play innocent, Merlin,” the dragon berated him. “She brings him meals and thus sees him a few times a day. Her name is Freya. I don’t really think you know her.”

“Freya?” asked Merlin. “I knew a druid girl named Freya when I was a kid. Could it be her?”

“Perhaps. Does it matter?”

“She wasn’t very good at magic back then.”

“Merlin, she’s no longer a child. She’s a grown woman now.”

Merlin sighed. “I know,” he said. “I just can’t help being worried.”

“I understand it, Merlin. That’s why I’m here. I will tell you what to do and you have to follow my advice,” said Kilgharrah.

“What is it then?” asked Merlin suspiciously.

“You will go with me to the tower in which Arthur had been imprisoned,” the dragon told him.

“What for? Shouldn’t we focus on the dungeons in which he’s imprisoned now?”

“We need to set the white female dragon free. She’s going to help us,” explained Kilgharrah.

“What? That’s insane,” said Merlin.

“It is not,” Kilgharrah assured him. “Her name is Aithusa and she is powerful.”

“If she’s that powerful why can’t she just leave the tower herself?” asked Merlin.

“The spell has been put on her chains,” replied the dragon. “We need your magic to break it.”

“How do you know it anyway?” Merlin was very suspicious. “How do you know she’s going to help us afterwards?”

“I’ve been visiting her,” Kilgharrah told him truthfully. “Don’t look at me like that. She’s a very powerful creature of magic. She’ll be useful in our fight against Morgana! She promised me she would help.”

“She was dominating you,” noticed Merlin. “I thought you hated it.”

“Aithusa was alone,” Kilgharrah tried to explain. “I got to know her a little bit and she’s different than she seemed.”

“Whatever you say. Whatever you like,” said Merlin. “Are you certain that she’s going to help us? I don’t want to waste my time if…”

“She will help us,” the dragon promised. “Get whatever you need and let’s go. As you noticed, we’ve got no time to waste.”

Merlin didn’t need to be told twice. He grabbed his bag and put a few items inside. “Let’s go,” he said and they rushed ahead.

 

* * *

 

Setting Aithusa free was an easy task. Merlin took his old wand out of the bag and put its end to the chains. White light spread over them and the majestic dragon was finally free. Merlin was glad to see the happiness and gratefulness in Aithusa’s eyes. He no longer feared for her reaction. It was as clear as sun that the white dragon was going to help them.

Aithusa let Merlin climb on her back. The young man was uncertain at first but he decided to overcome his fear. He was doing it all for Arthur after all and he could do anything for his king.

Kilgharrah could fly but he had no chance to keep Aithusa’s pace. Therefore he landed gracefully by Merlin’s side. “Cling to her,” Kilgharrah advised his friend. “Flying is wonderful but one has to get used to it. We don’t have time for that. You can also close your eyes if you feel dizzy.”

“I will be fine,” Merlin assured him. “Just tell her to fly. Does she even know the direction?”

“Aithusa is not capable of speaking human language but she understands it very well,” Kilgharrah told him. “She knows what to do. She’d been wandering these lands before she was captured almost a decade ago.”

“I’m sorry,” said Merlin to Aithusa. “I didn’t know that.”

She roared in a manner that Merlin hoped was friendly. Then she flapped her wings and flew upwards, leaving the damned castle behind.

“How long will it take?” asked Merlin, trying to breathe evenly.

“Do you have enough already?” Kilgharrah couldn’t help laughing. “This is how freedom tastes, Merlin. I know it’s difficult at first but you must learn to enjoy it.”

“I just don’t feel stable,” yelled Merlin through the wind. “Besides we need to get to the castle as soon as possible. Arthur needs our rescue.”

“The whole kingdom needs rescue,” Kilgharrah reminded him. “Its fate rests on the shoulders of those who are of magic. We have to win this war for the sake of all people and creatures that live here. Arthur plays an essential part in our plan but his rescue is not our ultimate goal.”

“For me, Arthur’s fate is the most important,” said Merlin firmly. “I care for the kingdom but Arthur comes first. If I have to choose, I’ll choose Arthur.”

Kilgharrah sighed. “I never doubted that,” he said. “However, it shouldn’t be an issue. The fates of Arthur and this kingdom are intertwined.”

“I agree with that,” replied Merlin. “I just wanted to make my priorities clear.”

They didn’t talk for the rest of their journey, trying to save as much breath as it was possible. Merlin felt a relief when he spotted Morgana’s castle on the horizon. He was not sure how he was going to save Arthur but at least he finally was close to doing that.

Aithusa landed on a clearing, half a mile away from the castle. They needed to plan in detail their actions. To Merlin’s surprise, a group of both people and magical creatures was waiting for them.

“This is our small army,” announced Kilgharrah.

Merlin gazed around and smiled. For the first time this day he felt that he wasn’t alone. There were about twenty sorcerers and witches, a dozen of elves and fairies, two goblins and a phoenix.

“This is a dream team,” said Merlin. “I’m so glad to see all of you. I know what it’s like to be different. However our differences do not make us evil.”

The group hummed in agreement.

“I hope you’re aware of a danger of our mission,” Merlin continued. “Morgana is powerful but we have an advantage. We have each other. We know that the things we fight for are right and noble.”

“Well put,” murmured Kilgharrah. “I think we should make it clear,” he said louder so everybody could hear him. “Some of you may get injured or even die. It’s the highest price and therefore I want you to be certain that you’re willing to pay it.”

“We know it’s serious,” said red haired witch. “We want freedom for our kind.”

“It’s dangerous but no one but us can change our fate,” one of the sorcerers supported her. “We’re not foolish to think that it’s going to be easy but we’re not going to give up.”

“I’m happy to hear that,” said Kilgharrah. “Now we should focus on our plan.”

“Finally!” the small crowd said in sync.

 

* * *

 

Merlin was not sure if their plan would work but they had to try. They decided that Merlin should sneak into the castle in a disguise of an old man. One of the sorcerers gathered on the clearing knew a spell that could do the work. The spell was supposed to work only about an hour but they believed it would be enough. Merlin had to only sneak inside under the noses of the guards. In the castle, when the spell vanished, he had to avoid people who could recognise him as well as find the way to the dungeons. Kilgharrah assured him that it should not be difficult, as it was the moment when the rest of them was supposed to start an attack. Morgana and her guards and knights would focus on them and Merlin was going to have a clear way. Once Merlin found and released Arthur, they were obliged to get to the court. They had to convince the council and people that Morgana was playing an awful game against her people. Merlin had no idea how he and Arthur were supposed to achieve that but Kilgharrah assured him that the king could do it.

_This is insane_ , thought Merlin, as he walked towards the castle with his changed appearance. According to Kilgharrah, he looked like an eighty year old man. Merlin was grateful that he didn’t have to see his own face. He had a feeling that it would make him feel weird. His aching body was already confusing him and that was enough.

The guards glanced at him but they did not even attempt to find out who he was. Merlin thought that he must have looked very innocently. He decided to believe that it was a good sign. He walked through the courtyard with a slow pace. He did not want to look suspicious to the people he was passing by. Older people were never in rush and he had to act just like them.

Merlin noticed that the people were whispering around him. At first he irrationally thought that they knew his true identity. However, after a while, he heard a part of such conversation. These people were undoubtedly talking about their king. Merlin didn’t want to listen to any of this. He had to strictly follow the plan.

The main doors were the easiest way to get inside but Merlin was worried that this time the guards would ask him about the purpose of his visit. Merlin wanted to avoid the awkwardness of his own lies and thus he made an effort of finding the kitchen doors. The people who worked in the kitchen seemed very busy, which wasn’t a surprise as a supper time was coming. No one seemed to care about an old mad manoeuvring between the tables. He thought that his old face must have been innocent and trustworthy. It was an advantage that he started to like.

However, when he finally found his way out of royal kitchens, he felt a relief. He could finally focus on finding the entrance to the dungeons. It was a bit frustrating that he couldn’t ask anyone about the direction as it would certainly raise a suspicion. Merlin wondered franticly where to go when he spotted a familiar face. It no longer belonged to a child but Merlin was certain that it was Freya. She was now a woman but her major features were unchanged.

He wanted to run up to her but decided against it. Freya would not recognise him in this form. Besides, someone could eavesdrop on their conversation. It was too risky.

Freya disappeared in the kitchen and came back after a few minutes. She was holding a tray with food. Merlin thought that it was his only chance. He was certain that Freya was taking this meal to Arthur’s cell. All Merlin had to do was follow her quietly.

After a few minutes of walk, he felt his body changing. His back stopped aching and the skin on his arms smoothed. The spell stopped working. Merlin was glad that he’d had enough time to get inside the walls.

After another two minutes Freya disappeared behind some obscure doors. Merlin waited a moment and followed her. Behind the doors he found the stairs which led down to the cells. Merlin smiled to himself. He was going to see Arthur any moment. There was only one problem that he would have to face – the guards.

Merlin hated using his magic in fight but it was the only thing he could do to get Arthur out of his prison. Knocking down Arthur’s guards with a spell was easy. However, Merlin tried to do this as gently as he could.

“Sorry,” he murmured to their unconscious bodies.

“Who’s there?” Merlin heard Freya’s voice. He looked up and met her gaze. “Do I know you?” she asked.

“We used to know each other as kids,” he said.

“Merlin?” It was Arthur’s weak voice. It came out of a nearby cell.

“Arthur,” said Merlin softly. “I’ve come for you.”

The king smiled at his beloved man but then glanced suspiciously at Freya.

“I’m on your side, Sire,” the girl told him. “I believe you know the dragon named Kilgharrah. He sent me here to protect you.”

“Kilgharrah planned all of this?” Arthur could not believe it. “I’m impressed.”

The warning bells started to ring.

“It’s begun,” Freya whispered.

“What has begun?” asked Arthur, confused. “What’s going on here?”

“We’ve got no time for this,” Merlin told him. “It’s a rescue mission and you must follow my lead.”

Arthur folded his arms. “I’m the king, Merlin,” he said.

“And I’m your saviour,” replied Merlin and murmured a spell which unlocked Arthur’s cell door. The men met in a short embrace but there was no time for anything else.

“I suggest running,” Freya spoke up. “Morgana is not stupid. She’ll know that the fuss is about rescuing the king.

“You’re right,” Merlin agreed. “Come on, Arthur. We’ve got you. Now we must save the whole kingdom.”

“Easy work,” murmured Arthur sarcastically but deep inside he was very excited. Finally he had an adventure he had been seeking for so long.


	20. The Once and Future King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that you had to wait so long. It is the last proper chapter and it is also the longest one. However, it is not the very end of the story. I will post a short epilogue soon.
> 
> Now enjoy!

Merlin was keeping his eye on Arthur all the time. They were in the castle of an enemy and Arthur was a fugitive. Every person in this enormous building was their potential foe. Everyone could harm the king. Merlin was the one who could protect Arthur and he wasn’t going to fail this task.

“What’s the plan?” asked Arthur as they moved quietly in a darkened corridor.

“We need to convince your people that they shouldn’t trust Morgana,” whispered Merlin.

“How are we going to do that?” Arthur was honestly sceptical.

“Hush,” Freya hissed suddenly.

They shut their mouths instantly and started to listen carefully. They could hear the shouts and screams that were coming from the courtyard. However, no one was approaching them.

“People must be scared,” said Arthur, breaking the silence. “What’s going on there?”

Merlin cleared his throat. “We’ve got Aithusa, the dragon from your tower,” he said shyly.

“What? Are you going to kill my people?” Arthur was furious. He was more concerned about the people who were whispering behind his back than about himself.

“Kilgharrah won’t let that happen,” Merlin assured him immediately. “Aithusa is our weapon against Morgana. She won’t hurt innocent people.”

“She’s an untamed dragon,” said Arthur angrily.

“You know nothing about dragons, Sire,” Freya spoke out. “They’re not as hostile as you believe. They are intelligent and noble creatures,” she said proudly.

“I may not be an expert but I know Aithusa,” said Arthur. “She was a guard of my prison and I watched her every day. She knows nothing about being delicate.”

“She was also a prisoner.”

“Shut up. Both of you!” Merlin had to stop them before they could lose control. “Arthur, you have to believe me that Aithusa won’t hurt your people. It’s not her purpose.”

“Why is she helping us anyway?” asked Arthur.

“She’s also a creature of magic. She wants true freedom,” Merlin explained.

“All right,” said Arthur. “I just fear it’s all in vain. People are not going to listen to a cheater like me. I’m a sinner in their eyes.”

Merlin sighed. “We won’t change their views in a minute. We can’t influence their minds in this way.” He smiled. “But you can show them the goodness of your heart. They may not accept all your life choices but they will follow you if they see that you’re better than Morgana.”

“The people and creatures of magic support you, Sire,” said Freya much quieter. “Other people fear Morgana but they are not able to defy her without a strong leader.”

“I am not a leader material,” said Arthur. “I’ve just started to learn…”

“You underestimate yourself,” Merlin assured him. “You are not flawless but you will become the greatest king of this land. I’m certain of that.”

“I have no idea what to tell my people,” said Arthur helplessly. “How can I convince them that their lives will be better under my rule? What arguments should I use?”

“Be yourself,” Merlin told him firmly.

“That will be enough,” added Freya and smiled at him.

Arthur looked at them. They were putting so much faith in him. It was touching but he was afraid that he would not stand up to their expectations. However, he decided to at least try. Merlin, Freya and others did so much to save him. He could not just give up. They all deserved more.

“Let’s face them, then,” said Arthur and they rushed towards the nearest doors that led outside.

 

* * *

 

Morgana and Morgause watched the courtyard from queen’s chambers. They didn’t want to rush anything. The rebellion had begun but Morgana didn’t care much about it. She didn’t care about her people or the walls of her castle. She was certain that the people would follow her in the end and the walls could be rebuilt. There was nothing to be worried about. She was going to use it against her husband. Arthur had just passed a death sentence on himself.

“Soon our dreams will come true,” said Morgause quietly.

“Indeed. Arthur is not going to win this war,” hissed Morgana. “He believes that a dragon and a bunch of sorcerers will get the throne for him. Poor people… they’re going to die so painfully.”

“You should focus on Arthur first,” Morgause advised her. “As long as he’s alive, the magic community will follow him. It seems they believe he’s the foretold once and future king.”

“They’re stupid then,” said Morgana. “It’s just a myth. And even if the story was true, Arthur would not be the great king. Have they seen him? He’s no king material. How could he become one of the greatest kings?”

“I know, sister. However, as long as they hope it’s him, they won’t let you rule,” Morgause told her wisely.

“That’s why he will die tonight,” replied Morgana. “It’s going to be fun.”

“He’s out there,” said Morgause suddenly.

“It’s time to join him then.” Morgana smiled mischievously. “The boy is by his side. That’s perfect.”

“Morgana, be careful. He has magic too,” Morgause warned her.

“It’s just going to make it even more interesting.”

 

* * *

 

“That’s the king!” yelled one of the women gathered in the courtyard.

For a short moment people turned their gaze away from the dragon above them. They started looking for their king in the crowd. It looked as if it was staged.

Arthur gulped. The faces of these people were scared and confused. He wasn’t sure what they expected from him. It could be death as well as protection.

“Talk to them,” hissed Merlin who was standing right behind him.

Arthur cleared his throat and said the first thing that crossed his mind. “Don’t be scared!” he tried loudly. “Everything should be fine.”

“Try harder,” whispered Merlin.

“You shouldn’t be here!” yelled someone from the crowd.

“Is that dragon yours?”

“Is it a threat?”

Arthur felt overwhelmed but he knew that he had to do something quickly.

“The dragon belongs to no one!” announced Arthur. “It’s a noble creature of magic that wants to be free.”

“It’s dangerous!”

“Why is it here?”

“It’s gonna eat our children!”

“The dragon has not come here for you and your families,” Arthur assured them. “I know it’s hard to believe at the moment but that’s the truth.” He sighed inwardly. “It is a female dragon that has guarded my former prison. I hated her but now I know she had no choice. She was a prisoner too. Now she has escaped but she’s not really free. Not until Morgana keeps her policy against the creatures of magic.”

“The queen protects us!” yelled one of the guards.

“It’s not protection,” said Arthur firmly. “She fears other kinds of magic so she wants to get rid of them. She believes that’s the only way for her to maintain power.”

“You know nothing, Arthur Pendragon.” It was Morgana’s voice. Arthur, Merlin and the rest of people looked towards the main door. Morgana was standing there with sister by her side. “I fear no one. I am powerful and you...” She smirked. “You’re making a fool of yourself.”

“I believe in everything I said,” Arthur told her. “You’re a good actress, Morgana, but you’re not good enough. You’re not as tough as you want us to believe.”

“I don’t need to make anyone believe in me. They are my people and they know what I’m capable of.” She started making small steps towards Arthur. “They knew me before they heard of your existence. I know what to do to keep them safe. You don’t. You’ve got no experience.” She raised her eyebrow. “And you’re a dishonourable cheater.”

“We’re not talking about our marriage, Morgana,” said Arthur, trying to hide how nervous he was. “We are talking about the people who live here. We are talking about freedom. Our marriage has been a farce all along.”

“Perhaps it has been like this for you,” hissed Morgana.

“Do you really want to pretend that it was a love match?” asked Arthur. “Everybody is aware that it was a marriage of convenience.”

“It was a good match but you decided to destroy it,” Morgana replied. “This kingdom could benefit from our marriage. I’m afraid I’ll have to achieve it without you.” She looked around, piercing the people with her green eyes. “By the power vested in me I sentence you to death, Arthur Pendragon,” she announced. “Anyone who will try to challenge me will suffer the consequences. You may even share my husband’s fate.”

“I won’t let you hurt him,” Merlin spoke up.

“Tell your boy toy to shut up,” Morgana said to Arthur. “He annoys me.”

“Speak directly to me, Morgana!” said Merlin angrily.

She glanced at him. “Why? It’s a waste of time. You cannot defeat me. You cannot protect your precious Arthur. You’re simply too weak.”

“You underestimate me,” replied Merlin.

“We shall see.” Morgana once again turned her attention to the crowd, saying, “if you value your lives, get out of here. I will protect you from this beast in the sky. However, if you want Arthur as your king, stay here and die for him.”

People looked conflicted. Some of them retreated immediately but others were clearly confused. They knew that Morgana was not a fair and just queen. She had many flaws but her rules were mostly stable. Arthur seemed to care about his people more than Morgana but he was not experienced. Besides, the rumour had it that he was a constant sinner, a sodomite. The choice was not easy to make.

“Go on, make up your minds,” said Morgana. “I can get rid of Arthur, magic creatures and the rebelled sorcerers in any minute. _They_ are a threat. Not me.”

Some of the people left the courtyard after her words but most of them stayed where they were. They were still confused and uncertain.”

“Hurry up, I won’t give you much more time,” Morgana told them.

“They are not as devoted to you as you thought,” said Arthur. “You’re cruel and they fear you. It is the first time when they have an opportunity to change that. They can choose something else. Someone else. They can choose me.” Arthur smiled. “I know who I am, Morgana. I know what most of these people think _. I have sinned_.” He looked at Merlin but kept smiling. “I did it because of the deep feelings that I have. I did it because of love. My love is considered filthy but I can feel in my heart that it’s right.” He turned his gaze towards the people. “I don’t want to change your views. You’ve got every right to have your own beliefs and as long as you don’t hurt others, you can act on them. This is the kingdom I want to build. You may not agree with my every decision, with my personal life…” Once again he glanced at Merlin. “However, I will do everything to protect you. I don’t want to spread hatred and fear. I want this kingdom to be the land of the free. As I said, there will be only one condition to live here. You’re free as long as you don’t hurt others. I think it is a pretty decent principle.”

“Have you finished your boring announcement?” asked Morgana. “I’m sorry but I couldn’t listen to you. The life is not only about love and freedom. You won’t protect your kingdom with them.”

“I will protect my kingdom with everything I can,” replied Arthur. “All what I said concerns people who live here. If the kingdom was in danger, I would protect it with an army, magic and everything I could get. I don’t want my people to suffer. That’s why I ask you,” he turned to the crowd, “I beg you to get out of here. It’s a dangerous place. I don’t need your presence as a proof of your loyalty to me. I don’t care if you support me or Morgana. I just want you to be safe,” he said honestly.

The people didn’t need to be told twice. They retreated in rush, hoping that they could find a safe place to hide.

“It won’t help you, Arthur,” said Morgana. “These people listened to you and they may even agree with you but you won’t live long enough to see that.”

“You won’t win this, Morgana,” said Merlin.

Morgause laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous, you pitiful man. Your power is nothing. It cannot be compared to Morgana’s or mine,” she said.

“I’m not the only one who protects Arthur,” Merlin replied.

“I have magic as well,” Freya spoke up.

“You are just a serving girl who knows a couple of tricks,” said Morgana. “The others are also weak. You were born with some abilities but had no chance to develop them.”

“You know nothing about us,” replied Freya. “You are royal-born and you think that we who had to work our whole lives to survive could not focus on our talents. That’s your mistake. We were determined to make our lives easier. We worked hard to achieve something.”

“Words, words, words…” Morgana faked a yawn. “I have enough. I want some action.” She raised her hand and pushed Freya with an invisible force.

The girl fell down but didn’t lose her consciousness. She looked at Morgana angrily and cast a spell that the queen dismissed without an effort.

“If that’s everything you can do, I’m afraid you’ve been wasting your time,” said Morgana.

Suddenly, other sorcerers and witches walked into the courtyard. They were there to support Arthur. The king was conflicted. He was proud that these people wanted him as their leader but he also felt responsible for their fate. Morgana was powerful and she was able to hurt and kill these people. It was something that Arthur didn’t want to happen.

“I don’t want you to die for me,” he said.

“That’s more than that,” spoke one of the sorcerers. “We’re here because we believe in a better future for us and our children. She’s not going to give it to us.”

“That’s going to be so much fun,” said Morgana. “Sister, what do you think I should do first?” she asked.

“You should focus on Arthur,” Morgause told her wisely.

“But it won’t be fun. I want Arthur to see how I torture all of these people. I want him to feel guilty. And when I’m done with them, I will kill his precious Merlin.” She looked directly into her husband’s eyes. “Afterwards, Arthur will beg me to kill him and I will do it mercifully.”

“Morgana, you should reconsider your decision,” Morgause tried to convince her. “It’s better to get rid of him as soon as possible. You may lose your chance.”

“Nonsense,” said Morgana. “They are no match for me. I crave some entertainment and Arthur’s broken soul will be perfect for that.”

“Morgana!”

“Don’t get involved, Morgause,” the queen warned her. “I’ve made up my mind.”

She cast a spell that pushed a group of sorcerers against the wall. A few of them that were still standing were forced somehow to fall to their knees. Their groans and whines made her laugh. She felt amazing as she watched their pain.

“Don’t hurt these people,” shouted Arthur. “It’s me you want! I’m standing right here! Let them be and you’ll have me.”

“Arthur, don’t,” hissed Merlin. “I won’t allow that to happen.”

“No, it’s all right,” said Arthur and looked at his beloved friend. “I am willing to sacrifice myself for the people of this kingdom. I don’t want them to suffer.” He turned toward Morgana and continued, “if you allow them to go away in peace, I will give up. You’ll be able to torture me. You will kill me in any way you want. I’m giving myself to you without a fight.”

“Stop it!” yelled Merlin. “I won’t let that happen. It’s not what we’re fighting for.” He had tears in his beautiful blue eyes.

“It may be the only chance for these people to survive this night,” Arthur whispered to him. “I want them to take it.”

“But I love you,” said Merlin softly. “I don’t want to live without you.”

Arthur smiled sadly at him and when he was about to answer Morgana spoke up again. “Enough! I don’t take your damn offer. I don’t need it. I will defeat your little army. I will defeat the dragon. And finally I will get to you.”

“You’re a cruel woman, Morgana,” said Arthur. “You will pay for your crimes sooner or later. Perhaps not by my hand but there will be someone who will manage to punish you.”

“These are big words, my _dear_ husband,” she said, smirking. “I don’t think they’re a prophecy. You’re too ordinary to have such a gift. You’re also very stupid. I have a great plan to get what I want. This is just a part of my plan. A small step. You have no idea what I will accomplish in the end.”

“I fear for those who will live long enough to see that day,” replied Arthur. “I hope it will never happen.”

“No one can stop me. Let’s begin!” Her eyes shone with a strong golden light. It would have looked beautiful if it hadn’t been so scary. The ground shook and the sky was lit up by several flashes of lightning.

“Morgana, that’s not wise,” said concerned Morgause. “You should focus on other matters.”

“I know what I do,” the queen replied and laughed madly.

“You will kill your people!” yelled Arthur. “Is that what you want?”

“I won’t kill all of them,” said Morgana. “I need to make this sacrifice to seal my power.”

Arthur looked at astonished Merlin. “What should I do?” he asked him. “Merlin, tell me that there’s something that can be done to stop her. She’s mad.” The king knew that he sounded hopeless but he truly didn’t care about it. He cared for the people of this land and for their fate. Leaving them for Morgana’s mercy was a mistake. This woman did not know what mercy was. She cared only for her own well-being.

“We will try to stop her,” Merlin said to him. “I will do everything in my power to protect you and your people.”

“Just don’t hurt yourself,” Arthur told him immediately.

Merlin just placed a short kiss on his lips and smiled shyly.

“Merlin!” Arthur said in a warning tone.

“Remember that I love you,” the young warlock whispered.

“Merlin!”

However Merlin was already on his way towards Morgana. Arthur wanted to rush after him but some kind of force stopped him. It was magic that Merlin used to protect him. Arthur hated him for that. For this short moment he hated magic once again. It was a torture to watch his loved one walk towards one of the most dangerous women in the world. It was almost a suicide. Arthur believed that Merlin was strong but he didn’t want him to fight on his own. Arthur wanted to be by his side. If they didn’t succeed, they would die by one another’s side. It wasn’t the worst kind of death.

“Merlin!” Arthur kept yelling after him but he didn’t look back.

Merlin was determined to defeat Morgana. He was ready to sacrifice himself. He was doing all of it for Arthur and his kingdom. Merlin was certain that Arthur would be the greatest king this land could ever have. Despite the doubts that Arthur had, he was ready to rule the kingdom on his own. Merlin hoped to see this day with his own eyes but he wasn’t sure he would survive the battle with Morgana. However, as long as he had a chance to stop her, it was worth his life.

“Hello, Merlin,” Morgana greeted him with a smirk. “I’m so glad that you want to stand on my way. Killing you will make me so happy and seeing Arthur’s broken heart afterwards will be even more precious.”

“I’m not an easy opponent,” Merlin told her.

“I hope so,” replied Morgana. “Stopping these people was too easy. I want a bit of a challenge!”

Merlin’s eyes shone with gold and he waved his hand towards Morgana. The queen felt a push but she dismissed it easily. “Do you really think that defeating me is that easy?” she asked him and cast a spell at him.

Merlin dodged quickly. “Likewise,” he said loudly. “You’ll have to be more creative.”

Morgana created a ball of fire that hovered above her hand. “Is that creative to you?” she asked and pushed the ball towards him.

This time Merlin didn’t manage to duck on time. The ball hit his left arm, hurting him a bit. Before Merlin could reply, Morgana pushed a couple of identical balls in his direction. This time, however, Merlin knew what to expect. He created a silver barrier in front of himself that stopped the balls. Morgana was about to create a bigger one that could destroy Merlin’s barrier when Merlin used her weapon against her. He pushed all the balls back to Morgana who was focused on her spell and thus was not ready to protect herself. The force pushed her to the ground and for a short moment she couldn’t move. When she tried to sit up Merlin used his own magic to keep her on the ground.

Suddenly Morgause came out of the shadow and cast a spell towards him. Merlin fell on his back but the woman didn’t use it as an opportunity to kill him. She knelt by her sister’s side to check her wounds. At the same time Arthur ran towards Merlin, as the barrier which kept the king safe vanished.

“Don’t do this to me ever again,” Arthur whispered softly. “We were supposed to fight together.”

“I want to protect you,” said Merlin and sat up slowly.

“Let me help you,” Arthur asked him. “We can do this together.”

Merlin nodded and hugged Arthur lightly. “All right,” he whispered.

Arthur helped him stand up and they looked towards the sisters. Morgana didn’t look well which made Morgause furious. “How dare you raise your hand to the queen?! You will regret that day. You will lose everything!”

“I did that to protect the king,” replied Merlin. “Morgana used that spell first. I just turned it against her.”

Morgause didn’t seem to care about it. She growled and the ground shattered. Then she raised her hand and started reciting an old spell. Merlin recognised the words. It was a very powerful and dangerous spell that could turn the city into a ruin. He knew that he had to do something to stop her. However, he was exhausted and was not able to cast a spell that could be strong enough to neutralize it. Then something crossed his mind. There was still hope. They had an enormous dragon by their side that could do the work. He looked up in the sky and closed his eyes for a short moment to gather the rest of his strength.

“What are you doing, Merlin?” Arthur asked him worryingly.

“Trust me,” the warlock whispered. Then he opened his eyes and looked directly at the dragon which was hovering above the clearing. “O drakon, e mala soi ftengometh tesd'hup anankes! Erkheo!” he yelled.

Aithusa immediately rushed towards the castle, making all the people gasp in fear.

“Merlin, what’s going on?” asked Arthur. “What are you planning?”

“I’m about to make you the only ruler of this land,” Merlin told him. “Hold on to me and you’ll be safe. I will always protect you.”

“The dragon will destroy the castle,” said Arthur.

“Aithusa will do no such thing,” Merlin assured him. “Kilgharrah is with her. He knows what to do.”

“Is it a part of the plan?” asked Arthur.

“It is a plan B. You’ll see.”

Aithusa hovered a few feet above the courtyard. Shattering of the ground was stronger and stronger. Morgause was finishing her spell and it was their last chance to change the future.

“Let’s end this!” Merlin called towards the dragons.

Aithusa didn’t have to be told twice. She landed in front of two sisters. Morgause tried to push her away with a nonverbal spell but her attention was focused mostly on the incantation so it didn’t work.

The dragon used her weakness against her. Aithusa bent forward and swallowed the cruel sisters down her throat.

The people around gasped in shock.

“I didn’t expect that,” said Arthur, astonished.

“It was a cruel act but it was our last chance,” Merlin told him. “I didn’t want to scare people in this way. I’m so sorry…”

“Calm down, Merlin. Morgause was planning something worse. It had to be done,” said Arthur.

“Her incantation was going to destroy the city. She was as mad as Morgana. I hope that people will understand these unusual circumstances.” Merlin sighed. “I didn’t want to make such a mess in your castle. Tidying it up will take a while.”

Arthur knew that he didn’t mean just the castle. Arthur had to focus on his people and their trust. Morgana had shattered his position and he had to regain it.

“You will help me, won’t you?” asked Arthur. “I don’t think I can do it on my own.”

“You can,” said Merlin. “But you won’t have to,” he added, smiling at his beloved king.

They stood in the middle of the courtyard looking at each other as if they were the only people left alive. Soon they would have to start working hard to build the kingdom they wanted to live in. It was going to be the kingdom of the foretold once and future king. Merlin was certain of that.


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The end!  
> I want to thank all of you who have stayed with me till this moment. I finished this story for you :)  
> Enjoy!

Merlin heard a light knocking on the door of his chambers. It was quite early in the morning, the sun didn’t rise yet, so it could only be one person.

“You don’t have to knock,” he said softly and the door creaked open almost immediately.

“Unlike you I have manners, Merlin,” said Arthur playfully and smiled at him.

“Because you’re a king and you’re expected to have them,” teased Merlin. “The good news is that in this chamber you are not a king. It is probably the only place in the whole kingdom where your title doesn’t matter at all.”

“At all?” Arthur raised his eyebrow.

“Prat,” murmured Merlin and shook his head slightly. “Why are you here anyway? Don’t you have to prepare for any celebration? I don’t know… perhaps for the first anniversary of your _proper_ coronation?” Merlin suggested.

“An official celebration is in the evening,” Arthur told him. “I’ve got a lot of time.”

“The official celebration? Are you planning an unofficial one?” Merlin asked him teasingly.

“Perhaps.” Arthur lay down on Merlin’s enormous bed right next to him. “It’s a very special day and I want to spend it with you,” the king said after a minute of silence.

“That’s actually sweet,” murmured Merlin. “Do you think of anything particular?”

“Not really,” replied Arthur. “I’d love to talk to you, to tease you… I want this morning to be as lazy as possible. My royal duties make me so tired. I wish I could spend more time with you.”

“I’m afraid you can’t,” said Merlin a bit sadly. “Your people may turn a blind eye to our unofficial arrangement…”

“You mean _our relationship_ ,” Arthur corrected him.

“You’re right.” Merlin smiled at him. “Nonetheless, I am not your legal spouse and we can’t change that for the sake of this kingdom.”

“But are you happy Merlin?” Arthur asked him seriously. “That’s not the life you wanted to have. You wanted adventures and voyages…”

“So did you,” Merlin reminded him. “Life changes our priorities and our dreams… I’m happy to stay here by your side.”

“I appreciate your help and support. I don’t know how I would have dealt with magic without you,” said Arthur. “Making you the Court Sorcerer was probably one of the best decisions in my life.”

“Well, I told you that I like the name Court Warlock better. And it’s truer!” Merlin insisted.

“Merlin, I won’t change your title. The Court Sorcerer sounds nobler and more serious.”

Merlin sighed. “All right. I think I’ll have to live with that hideous title,” he replied teasingly.

“Hey! It’s not hideous! And look at the bright side… As such an important person in the kingdom you can occupy the chambers that are in close proximity to your king’s,” said Arthur.

“That’s very convenient indeed. Especially since you tend to visit me early in the mornings or late in the evenings,” said Merlin, suppressing his laughter. “Someone could think that you’re trying to seduce me or even worse.”

“That someone couldn’t be more wrong. Me seducing you?” teased Arthur. “You keep throwing yourself at me. There’s nothing left to seduce!”

“Prat!” mumbled Merlin but kissed him nonetheless.

“You see?” said Arthur as soon as they pulled away.

“Perhaps you’re right.” Merlin smiled blissfully. “I still can’t believe that it’s true. Sometimes I think it’s just a dream and that I’ll wake up in my narrow bed in my dirty hut deep in the forest. Alone.”

“You’ll never be alone again,” Arthur promised him and embraced him lightly. “You’ve got me, the dragons and your magical friends. We are real.”

“I know,” said Merlin and kissed him tenderly. “You’ve become so confident. When I met you, you were a confused boy who was afraid of the outside world. Now you’re a king of a wonderful country. Your people respect you in a way that Morgana found impossible. I’m so proud of you.”

“I would never achieve that without you,” Arthur told him.

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is,” the king said firmly.

They were looking into each other’s eyes for a few minutes in complete silence. Then they burst out with laughter at the same moment.

“We’re insane,” said Merlin.

“I agree.”

Then they laughed some more.

“Can we behave like adults this one time?” asked Merlin. “I don’t know how you do it but you make me feel like a teenage boy. We’re a couple of adults! I hope your people will never find out what you’re like when you’re just with me.”

“God, I hope not,” replied Arthur. “They’d be ruined as they’d never forget _that_ image.”

“Arthur!” Merlin tried to berate him but it was hopeless. The king was already occupied with kissing Merlin’s exposed neck. Merlin decided to focus on a more urgent task and berate him later.

 

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are love!


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